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BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear

 
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 06:56 PM
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BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
AP San Fransisco: While at the San Fransisco Zoo with friends Barney Frank and Dennis Rodman Monday afternoon David Wilcock was sexually assaulted by a panda bear. Zoo keeper Hans Doodleshoot explains what happened and had this to say "It was bizarre. Some people at the zoo recognized David Wilcock and started asking for autographs and also a demonstration of his ascended master skills. David told the small crowd gathering that he would enter the panda bear exhibit and demonstrate how he can communicate with animals. David then climbed the exhibit's 15 foot fence and hopped the pandas' living area. As soon as he entered one of the larger male pandas ran over to him and immediately violently ripped off David's clothes. There were gasps from those watching as the panda turned David over exposing his brown kachina. The panda then mounted David and assaulted him sexually for 10 minutes before zoo employees could stop the assault with a tranquilizer gun."

Witness Laquisha Williams had this to add, "The panda went berserk and was in a frenzy after mounting David. David started drooling. Oddly enough, it didn't seem like David was trying to get away or defend himself against the assault. He started drooling and oddly, it looked like he was enjoying it."

David refused medical treatment and went on to finish his visit at the zoo.
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:01 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
AP San Fransisco: While at the San Fransisco Zoo with friends Barney Frank and Dennis Rodman Monday afternoon David Wilcock was sexually assaulted by a panda bear. Zoo keeper Hans Doodleshoot explains what happened and had this to say "It was bizarre. Some people at the zoo recognized David Wilcock and started asking for autographs and also a demonstration of his ascended master skills. David told the small crowd gathering that he would enter the panda bear exhibit and demonstrate how he can communicate with animals. David then climbed the exhibit's 15 foot fence and hopped the pandas' living area. As soon as he entered one of the larger male pandas ran over to him and immediately violently ripped off David's clothes. There were gasps from those watching as the panda turned David over exposing his brown kachina. The panda then mounted David and assaulted him sexually for 10 minutes before zoo employees could stop the assault with a tranquilizer gun."

Witness Laquisha Williams had this to add, "The panda went berserk and was in a frenzy after mounting David. David started drooling. Oddly enough, it didn't seem like David was trying to get away or defend himself against the assault. He started drooling and oddly, it looked like he was enjoying it."

David refused medical treatment and went on to finish his visit at the zoo.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43845831


cruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruisecruise
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:04 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
Witness Laquisha Williams
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43845831


That's where your story falls apart...
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:05 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
David you must stop making up all these stories about yourself to get attention. Even if some of them are true.
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:14 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
"The panda went berserk and was in a frenzy after mounting David. David started drooling. Oddly enough, it didn't seem like David was trying to get away or defend himself against the assault. He started drooling and oddly, it looked like he was enjoying it."

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 43845831


clappa
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:15 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
BAN
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:16 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear


Good luck Wilcok!
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:19 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
BAN
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45415570


BAN
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45415570


Hi Gayvid
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:19 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
bsflag
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 08:19 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
feel the frequencies

feel the vibrations

feel the love

feel the cock
Manu-Koelbren

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08/19/2013 08:21 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
David you must stop making up all these stories about yourself to get attention. Even if some of them are true.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44848969


cruiselarge
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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08/19/2013 09:12 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
feel the frequencies

feel the vibrations

feel the love

feel the cock
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44966510


cruise
Anonymous Coward
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Philippines
08/19/2013 09:17 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
cruise
clappa
Anonymous Coward
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08/19/2013 09:18 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
I think I'll give Drake a call to see how David is taking all this excitement; I mean stress.
Anonymous Coward
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08/20/2013 05:53 AM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
bump
Breadalban

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08/20/2013 08:24 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
does that make it a 5th dimension Panda now?

or just a bear with an itchy dick?
Soup Kitchener

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08/20/2013 08:27 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
cowbonk
Manu-Koelbren

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08/21/2013 08:10 AM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
does that make it a 5th dimension Panda now?

or just a bear with an itchy dick?
 Quoting: Breadalban


It was GAyvid's 5th dimensional spiritual master passing relevant prophecies through his brown katchina portal. You unenlightened dweebs saw a panda sodomizing Gayvid but for those with spiritual eyes awakened to see, it was a beautiful miracle happening. ohyeah
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
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08/21/2013 08:44 AM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
lol cockheads
Carnac The Magnificent

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08/21/2013 09:05 AM

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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
David you must stop making up all these stories about yourself to get attention. Even if some of them are true.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44848969


Amazing that he could continue with the tour -- after being hit with a tranquilizer dart like that. :-O
Anonymous Coward
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08/21/2013 09:19 AM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
I might actually believe this to be true...the BEAST is desperate...wrong side of the chasm.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 2567226
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08/22/2013 04:28 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
Was the panda tested?
Manu-Koelbren

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08/22/2013 09:27 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
Was the panda tested?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 2567226


Unfortunately the poor creature is infected with AIDS and it will be sacrificed. Damn you Gayvid, you have no compassion towards wildlife.
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
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United States
08/29/2013 03:42 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
This is bull
Little Baby Jesus
§ Control is an Illusion §

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08/29/2013 03:47 PM

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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
It's a satire for those who can't figure it out.

Jeeze,
BKK
-----------------------
"A God of the Gaps is assigned
responsibility for what we do not yet understand." Carl Sagan
Mister_Worlwide

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08/29/2013 03:48 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
bsflag
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 37758572

Hi David!
shill
There's nothing like Miami's heat....
...Padre Island, TX does beat it!
Mister_Worlwide

User ID: 1766201
United States
08/29/2013 03:49 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
This is bull
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 6745585
shill
There's nothing like Miami's heat....
...Padre Island, TX does beat it!
Mister_Worlwide

User ID: 1766201
United States
08/29/2013 03:49 PM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
He was RaCocked! Oh Shit
There's nothing like Miami's heat....
...Padre Island, TX does beat it!
Little Baby Jesus
§ Control is an Illusion §

User ID: 36900483
United States
08/29/2013 03:52 PM

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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
The "Sychrocockcity" Key
BKK
-----------------------
"A God of the Gaps is assigned
responsibility for what we do not yet understand." Carl Sagan
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 19194855
United States
08/31/2013 10:47 AM
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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
bump
Little Baby Jesus
§ Control is an Illusion §

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08/31/2013 11:16 AM

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Re: BREAKING: David Wilcock Sexually Assaulted At The San Fransisco Zoo By A Panda Bear
Any word any how he's doing?
BKK
-----------------------
"A God of the Gaps is assigned
responsibility for what we do not yet understand." Carl Sagan

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