Yes VALIS, i've been through the same, i have accessed source, i see the information, i could write about it, but no one listens, and it's too late now anyhow.
I've surfed these boards anonymously since 2003, i briefly used the name V.A.L.I.S
Here i was on a proxy in 2008 to prove it Thread: Schizophrenia & Shamanism
I told you VALIS is the only book i've read, my number is 9
What you're connecting to is what Chistians call god, i don't call it god, i call it source, as the bible has turned people away from the TRUE GOD, which is themselves.
No one is interested in being told how the universe works or what truth is, and who can blame them?.....they are to find out for themselves, it's just the way it is, and quite beautiful in how it works.
The last planet alignment dubbed 'star of david' blew me wide open, my stargate is activated (third eye pineal), It's been happening for years, but i only just made the connection that it is planetary alignments smashing through the control grid, for years i didn't know what was happening, beginning of 1994 (january 18th or thereabouts) then again in 1998, i experienced Christ consciousness, and other times between these i've experienced mild awakenings.
Then this time was the most powerful of all and it peaked on 07/21/2013 where i was rendered incapable, tripping and rolling round on the floor for three days losing consciousness, when fully connected it was just me floating in front of a dim Sun, from the Sun came PURE bliss, in the bliss was information, this is how it communicates to us and through us.......(i believe they bore the antichrist at this time)
I saw your posts and instantly knew you've experienced the same thing, and yes we are dealing with an entity that has cut itself off from the eternal fractal into a closed system stuck in the lower realms/ dimensions, it is alien in orgin and it feeds on planets like parasites on a flower, and it is in control of our governments and institutions.
Here's a song you might relate to (yet another NIN song like i quoted in the thread linked above)
I only just found out about this song, and it blew me away, cos as of yet i haven't found anyone else with a similar experience, except Trent Reznor.