Godlike Productions - Conspiracy Forum
Users Online Now: 2,637 (Who's On?)Visitors Today: 1,805,700
Pageviews Today: 2,577,709Threads Today: 650Posts Today: 13,152
08:04 PM


Rate this Thread

Absolute BS Crap Reasonable Nice Amazing
 

My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....

 
ChipModerator
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:17 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
itsatarp

damned
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45516560
United States
08/27/2013 05:19 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
WoW! Did that Once NEVER AGAIN! GOOD LUCK ophf
ar-15 nut

User ID: 44044090
United States
08/27/2013 05:21 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Best to get the camping gear out and a 12 pack.
A pissed off American veteran!
Hawk-02

User ID: 742097
United States
08/27/2013 05:21 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
LUCKY YOU! Sounds like you have yourself a reasonable woman.
WAR INSIDE MY HEAD.
Lab Lover

User ID: 941862
United States
08/27/2013 05:21 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
itsatarp

damned
 Quoting: Chip


Chip, if you can pull that one off here's to ya
Lab Lover
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18871814
United States
08/27/2013 05:22 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
sorry op your neighbor has already taken care of that...
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:24 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
sorry op your neighbor has already taken care of that...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 18871814


He tried...I had his scrotum stuffed and gave it to my dog as a chew toy.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Rev StarGazer
Just a little bit batty

User ID: 37891955
United States
08/27/2013 05:24 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh! You're damned if you do and double damned if you don't!

My suggestion? DO something special for her as a 'gift'

that's not 'getting' her anything but still letting her know you care

good luck!
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson

revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45859105
United States
08/27/2013 05:24 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
You're probably tired of sex anyway, right?

No b-day present = No poontang for at least a month.

But you may get your own room!
Of course it will undoubtedly be the garage.

May not see a hot meal for sometime either.


I'd suggest you get her something.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45846024
United States
08/27/2013 05:26 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
You're probably tired of sex anyway, right?

No b-day present = No poontang for at least a month.

But you may get your own room!
Of course it will undoubtedly be the garage.

May not see a hot meal for sometime either.


I'd suggest you get her something.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45859105


For the love of God, Chip...buy her something and save yourself!
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:27 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh it's definitely a tarp! Absolutely no doubt about it.

But...I'm also in the doghouse. I worked late last night and stopped by my buddies house for a beer on the way home. I didn't get home until after midnight...

tomato

Last Edited by Chip on 08/27/2013 05:27 PM
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Rev StarGazer
Just a little bit batty

User ID: 37891955
United States
08/27/2013 05:29 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh it's definitely a tarp! Absolutely no doubt about it.

But...I'm also in the doghouse. I worked late last night and stopped by my buddies house for a beer on the way home. I didn't get home until after midnight...

tomato
 Quoting: Chip


Well then you'll have to somehow have your buddy be involved in the planning of a special birthday surprise for her - that will cover the excuse for staying out late - you where only thinking of her....right?
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson

revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:30 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
You're probably tired of sex anyway, right?

No b-day present = No poontang for at least a month.

But you may get your own room!
Of course it will undoubtedly be the garage.

May not see a hot meal for sometime either.


I'd suggest you get her something.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45859105


For the love of God, Chip...buy her something and save yourself!
 Quoting: Seagal695


Yeah...I completely agree. My wife has the memory of an elephant the tenacity of a honey badger and when it comes to mental judo and staring contests....she absolutely destroys me!

I'm a feared and a skeert!
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44176031
United States
08/27/2013 05:30 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Neglect a woman, and she will find someone who won't be so neglectful.

She said not to get her anything, because she is already teaching herself not to give a fuck about anything you do or don't do. This is because she feels like you do not give a fuck about her.

Dangerous ground.
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:31 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh it's definitely a tarp! Absolutely no doubt about it.

But...I'm also in the doghouse. I worked late last night and stopped by my buddies house for a beer on the way home. I didn't get home until after midnight...

tomato
 Quoting: Chip


Well then you'll have to somehow have your buddy be involved in the planning of a special birthday surprise for her - that will cover the excuse for staying out late - you where only thinking of her....right?
 Quoting: Rev StarGazer


That wouldn't work...she knows better. I think if I lied and she detected it...lasers would shoot out from her eyes and burn my cortex.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44077168
United States
08/27/2013 05:31 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
For Chip and all you other guys --

Speaking as a woman, it is NOT the gift that counts, but the thought behind it. A handwritten card or making her dinner (and cleaning up from it) is worth more to me than flowers or jewelry.

The best gift I ever got was from my husband who at the time "liked" me, but he was just one of three men I was dating at the time. (This was back when "dating" did not necessarily mean having sex!) He gave me four different birthday cards because he said he couldn't decide which one to get and each one said something different he wanted to say to me!

Melted me completely, and he was my only one after that!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45846024
United States
08/27/2013 05:31 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh it's definitely a tarp! Absolutely no doubt about it.

But...I'm also in the doghouse. I worked late last night and stopped by my buddies house for a beer on the way home. I didn't get home until after midnight...

tomato
 Quoting: Chip


Oh crap...then she says "don't buy me a gift" as well?

RIP Chip, RIP pope
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:31 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Neglect a woman, and she will find someone who won't be so neglectful.

She said not to get her anything, because she is already teaching herself not to give a fuck about anything you do or don't do. This is because she feels like you do not give a fuck about her.

Dangerous ground.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44176031


spock
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45862447
Uruguay
08/27/2013 05:32 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Do the dishes, take the trash out EVERY DAY. There you go. That's what she meant or whatever that you're not doing, spending tiem together or that you are leaving her the burden of.
Rev StarGazer
Just a little bit batty

User ID: 37891955
United States
08/27/2013 05:34 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Get her a VS gift certificate - guaranteed to calm even the most savage of beasts

[link to www.victoriassecret.com]
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson

revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Vic-chick13

User ID: 27766712
United States
08/27/2013 05:34 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh! You're damned if you do and double damned if you don't!

My suggestion? DO something special for her as a 'gift'

that's not 'getting' her anything but still letting her know you care

good luck!
 Quoting: Rev StarGazer


Agree! Make it good, and you should be safe.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45033945
Germany
08/27/2013 05:34 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
she seems to have all she needs and wants - with YOU hf


but i really do hope there´s no other reason than mentioned above behind it.
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:35 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
For Chip and all you other guys --

Speaking as a woman, it is NOT the gift that counts, but the thought behind it. A handwritten card or making her dinner (and cleaning up from it) is worth more to me than flowers or jewelry.

The best gift I ever got was from my husband who at the time "liked" me, but he was just one of three men I was dating at the time. (This was back when "dating" did not necessarily mean having sex!) He gave me four different birthday cards because he said he couldn't decide which one to get and each one said something different he wanted to say to me!

Melted me completely, and he was my only one after that!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44077168


I'm a very involved husband and father. For the last 8 years I've cooked dinner half the time...even when I work late. I understand your point.

Do the dishes, take the trash out EVERY DAY. There you go. That's what she meant or whatever that you're not doing, spending tiem together or that you are leaving her the burden of.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 45862447


I take out the trash 90% of the time...I won't touch the dishes unless she asks. There is a very particular way she likes things.

Last Edited by Chip on 08/27/2013 05:35 PM
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 20518554
United States
08/27/2013 05:35 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
better play it safe and go with the gesture idea.


You see this women of glp? We're not fn mind readers!
amachiavellian

User ID: 44873022
Canada
08/27/2013 05:36 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh it's definitely a tarp! Absolutely no doubt about it.

But...I'm also in the doghouse. I worked late last night and stopped by my buddies house for a beer on the way home. I didn't get home until after midnight...

tomato
 Quoting: Chip


Oh. Okay. I get it.

I believe in this particular case her saying "don't get me anything" is the equivalent "you'd best be ponying up something sweet for coming home so late or else" ... that's just my opinion of course.

Last Edited by amachiavellian on 08/27/2013 05:36 PM
— read for knowledge, not answers.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 21409609
United States
08/27/2013 05:36 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
:itsatarp:

damned
 Quoting: Chip


THIS IS A TEST......if you value you sanity....get her something.....your love should trump her "conservative" statement.......good luckhf
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:37 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Oh it's definitely a tarp! Absolutely no doubt about it.

But...I'm also in the doghouse. I worked late last night and stopped by my buddies house for a beer on the way home. I didn't get home until after midnight...

tomato
 Quoting: Chip


Oh. Okay. I get it.

I believe in this particular case her saying "don't get me anything" is the equivalent "you'd best be ponying up something sweet for coming home so late or else" ... that's just my opinion of course.
 Quoting: amachiavellian


^^^THIS^^^

That is how I read it as well.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen
Rev StarGazer
Just a little bit batty

User ID: 37891955
United States
08/27/2013 05:37 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
better play it safe and go with the gesture idea.


You see this women of glp? We're not fn mind readers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20518554


THAT is the point!

If you REALLY love someone, you know them well enough that you don't have to read their mind

it's a test....
“If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace.”
Thich Nhat Hanh, Being Peace

"But ask the animals, and they will teach you,
or the birds in the sky, and they will tell you;
or speak to the earth, and it will teach you,
or let the fish in the sea inform you." - Job 12:7,8

"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." - Hunter S. Thompson

revstargazer (at) hotmail.com
Ozi
User ID: 45665005
Australia
08/27/2013 05:37 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Then you must giver her to 100% totally undivided attention for the whole day. Romantacise her until it is coming out of her nostrils. Red roses, champagne, strawberries, soft cheese, picnic in the long grass, romantic walk in the sunset followed by a heart stop rompety dompety on a bed covered in rosepetals. She will remember that forever. Of course she will expect every year after that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45859105
United States
08/27/2013 05:38 PM
Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
Dinner and a Mustache rideohyeah

never fails
ChipModerator (OP)
Forum Moderator

User ID: 24199840
United States
08/27/2013 05:38 PM

Report Abusive Post
Report Copyright Violation
Re: My wife told me not to get her anything for her Birthday.....
better play it safe and go with the gesture idea.


You see this women of glp? We're not fn mind readers!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20518554


THAT is the point!

If you REALLY love someone, you know them well enough that you don't have to read their mind

it's a test....
 Quoting: Rev StarGazer


To a man: TEST = TARP!!!
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. ~Arthur C. Clarke

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. ~Mark Twain

He's a nut-bag! Just because the fucker's got a library card doesn't make him Yoda! ~David Mills ~ Se7en

every-citizen

News