When I say I am a bad tree I am saying many things. I am telling you not to trust me. That I am a devil, not the devil. A son of satan. A worm. A dog. A goat. Disowned. In my heart, Fatherless. A non believer and an anti-christ. He who is not in him, with him, is against him. I am not a saint but just a sinner. I am not a brother or sister in christ. I am not a child of God, born again or born of God. I am not saved nor have I finished my baptism. I do not know him, love him, or have seen him. I remain in darkness as the moon light shines. The light within me is darkness and how great that darkness! If Jesus saw me, would he say get behind me Satan? I’d like to think so. I accept him for him and I want to accept me for me. I am starting to love the truth more and more. In order to repent I must confess. I must tell the truth over and over again. Do not believe me unless I do the works of the Most High. Otherwise I bring death. It’s like murder. He who hates his brother is a murderer. He is the way, truth, and life. Therefore I do not know the way, believe in truth, or live the life. I am lost, blind, and living a lie. Being blind to God, who is life, blinds me to many many things. How could I ever know God or Love him if I cannot even know or love my neighbor? If one cannot listen to their Creator who designed then, could they ever listen to you? Love you? Can you trust such an individual under the control of spirits other than the one who does love you?
..but, I am repenting. Bearing fruit towards repentances. I am kinda like the fishermen on the boat. I hear a voice, come and follow me. No Lord, get away from me. I am but a mere sinner. Yet one tries to follow anyways. Not yet understanding what is said. Sinning here and there. One day I will understand. One day my feet shall be clean. One day I will wake up. A bad tree cannot bear good fruit. I want to work but I cannot..yet. I am late for work as well. It shouldn’t take so long to get there but so many obstacles. For he seeks those who worship in spirit and truth. I do not have the spirit. I do not have the truth. He is a God of the living and not the dead. Yet I am dead in my transgressions. Zombified.
We have many names but no name. You can call me scarecrow but notice how the birds come to rest anyways. :)
We are like the grass among other plants. Just waiting to whither when winter comes. I have been telling people I am a bad tree for what? Maybe over two years? Looking forward to spring. An everlasting spring. The flowers will indeed bloom. Like a branch within the tent of meeting.
Can be very flammable. Need to pick up my cross or..be picked up by it. I alone, can do nothing without the tree in which I am but a mere grafted branch. Not fully in yet. See how my legs are weary yet I am lifted up. Can I stand on my own? :)
I got no legs or no brain. I believe only God is not ignorant. Where is boasting then? What do we have that was not given to us? We are not independent creatures. Jesus shall be my head. Who then shall be the shoulders, knees, and toes? Each member needs the other you know? Where is my heart? Ah yes, Father’s will do nicely. A new heart. A new spirit. A gift. Imagine a man of a thousand voices. We are not alone. We are not our own.
As you read the scriptures, if done right, are they not a part of you? What has the world taught you? Are they not in you? Be careful with whom you choose to eat. Some flesh and blood only leads to death. Choose your master wisely. An ignorant creature like ourselves were created to have a..teacher. Someone to guide us. To train us. A guardian. If that is not true, why are you here?
Look both ways before crossing the street. The intersection can be tricky. As for us eating one another. Look at rage for example. Put a angry person in a building with others and see how many others get angry. That person just transferred something to you. Do you know what is it? I am giving you something right now as you read. :)
Many of you have helped me so much. Even the darkness has helped me. At one point I read revelations and wept. I wanted to sell my soul to the devil to save you guys but I chose God. Anything darkness can do, God can do better. I didn't want anyone to be a stepping stone, a ladder. I wanted others to come with me. I have tried so hard and so long to "prove" the truth in a simply manner. Yet now I realize I have been with Satan all along.
I know people may judge me for wanting to sell my soul but truth is, most of these people don't know God. The love of God is not in most of them. They love the creation more than the Creator. They barely love their neighbors.
I was surprised to find this in the bible. Sacrifice..count your brothers more worthy than yourselves. There is only one of me and more of you but betrayal is not who I am. I must love him.
I swore to be faithful to the first and the last or forever shall I burn.
I didn't know I wasn't suppose to swear. I hadn't read much of the scriptures then. I believe this was around the end of 2010.
I speak the truth in Christ—I am not lying, my conscience confirms it through the Holy Spirit— I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were cursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my people, those of my own race, the people of Israel. Theirs is the adoption to sonship; theirs the divine glory, the covenants, the receiving of the law, the temple worship and the promises. Theirs are the patriarchs, and from them is traced the human ancestry of the Messiah, who is God over all, forever praised![a] Amen.
I am sorry. I have received a message and I must let my toys go and ask my Father to fix them. See, hell is for a traitor. It is for those who betray him. I cannot and should not do such a thing. I choose God over everything and everyone. My apologies but I must seek higher learning now. ”College" is so close spiritually. I do need more spiritual milk though.
I am so sorry. This hurts so much. I have been desperate for so long. So much jealousy for my toys. Without life they are inanimate objects. I'll be waiting for Father to fix them once I am ready to ask him. He is mad at me.
I am so sorry. Please, forgive me.