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I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15168094
United Kingdom
09/16/2013 10:30 PM
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I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

I'm afraid if she gets too drunk and some boy comes up flirting with her and she goes out with some individual.

I have trust issues, I know but that is because of my past with my ex. But she loves going out with her friend, and she said she needs a break from me now and again, is that ok?

She added photos on Facebook with some boy while she was out 2 weeks ago with her friend and she went out again with her friend the day after with taking another picture with one of another boy on another night out she knows I see the photos on Facebook so she is obviously not hiding nothing. or is she?

When I ask her questions she blames me for not trusting her so I'm just going to pull back and see what happens.

I know I have trust issues but is that just me? or should I be worried because I love her so much and i don't want to be smothering her. I know she loves me too, I just hope I will overcome these trust issues because I don't want it to spoil our relationship.

What can I do? I know I smother her with love & Complements and I think it might be too much but if i give her too much would she think she's really special and go and cheat on me?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46956307
United States
09/16/2013 10:32 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Those times when she is extra juicy , it ain't tuna sauce puttin glide in your ride.
Its chav or chavs man syrup in her baby box , when she comes home prego make sure you get a paternity test
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46084613
United States
09/16/2013 10:36 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

I'm afraid if she gets too drunk and some boy comes up flirting with her and she goes out with some individual.

I have trust issues, I know but that is because of my past with my ex. But she loves going out with her friend, and she said she needs a break from me now and again, is that ok?

She added photos on Facebook with some boy while she was out 2 weeks ago with her friend and she went out again with her friend the day after with taking another picture with one of another boy on another night out she knows I see the photos on Facebook so she is obviously not hiding nothing. or is she?

When I ask her questions she blames me for not trusting her so I'm just going to pull back and see what happens.

I know I have trust issues but is that just me? or should I be worried because I love her so much and i don't want to be smothering her. I know she loves me too, I just hope I will overcome these trust issues because I don't want it to spoil our relationship.

What can I do? I know I smother her with love & Complements and I think it might be too much but if i give her too much would she think she's really special and go and cheat on me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Sounds like you value her too much, above yourself. She may or may not be cheating but the fact you value her above yourself and are constantly thinking of her is unhealthy, as is simultaneously lacking trust in her. It seems that the two of you are mismatched in that she is more extroverted and free-spirited than you, more social perhaps. As the more introverted person, you would need to have something of equal or greater value to you (a high-value job perhaps or a hobby you are obsessed with) to compensate for the fact she is going out all the time.

I'd take a step back OP. Don't move with her if you don't trust her. Take time out to value yourself the way you value her, and basically pull back for a few weeks. This does a few important things: One, if she is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about that, so it gives her the room and space to do so. Then, if she does, at least you can break up without having moved to a new home and lost your love as well. Second, it will give you perspective on her and whether this is the relationship you truly want and deserve. Third, it will send her a clear message that she is to respect you and not walk on you, and that if she wants you in her life she'll make a priority for you.

Finally, be clear that you don't want her to see other men. Have you explicitly told her that? Is she completely crystal clear on the fact that you view talking and flirting to be cheating? If you set clear boundaries and expect her to meet them, she must first agree to them so the two of you need to sit down and chat about that and come to an agreement. Crystal clear communication about what does and does not constitute crossing the line needs to be made!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
09/16/2013 10:36 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
she is cheating dude. Ask her to go with next time she what she says. If its "no" then you gotta pull the chalks man.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46965684
09/16/2013 10:37 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
that bitch knows how to get her pussy pounded.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 7102041
United States
09/16/2013 10:40 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
PIIHP
Travis Bickle
Vigilantes need love too....

User ID: 26788702
United States
09/16/2013 10:40 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

I'm afraid if she gets too drunk and some boy comes up flirting with her and she goes out with some individual.

I have trust issues, I know but that is because of my past with my ex. But she loves going out with her friend, and she said she needs a break from me now and again, is that ok?

She added photos on Facebook with some boy while she was out 2 weeks ago with her friend and she went out again with her friend the day after with taking another picture with one of another boy on another night out she knows I see the photos on Facebook so she is obviously not hiding nothing. or is she?

When I ask her questions she blames me for not trusting her so I'm just going to pull back and see what happens.

I know I have trust issues but is that just me? or should I be worried because I love her so much and i don't want to be smothering her. I know she loves me too, I just hope I will overcome these trust issues because I don't want it to spoil our relationship.

What can I do? I know I smother her with love & Complements and I think it might be too much but if i give her too much would she think she's really special and go and cheat on me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Pocket Freud:

This has nothing to do with her and EVERYTHING to do with YOU...








Tell me about your relationship with your mother.
One of these days... A *REAL* rain is gonna come and wash all this scum off the streets.
CrazyEyesThreadKilla

User ID: 45933177
United States
09/16/2013 10:44 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
She's cheating on you. A guy's 6th sense is usually right. We often try to rationalize our way out of believing it, but if you think it's happening, it probably is.

I would break up with her and see what happens. If she is really the one for you, she will give you every opportunity to get back together. If not, good riddance. It will be total shit for a few days or even weeks, but you will eventually look back and thank the lord you didn't waste any more time.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25868002
United States
09/16/2013 10:46 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
When a woman loves AND respects her man, she would not dare disrespect him posting pictures of herself with other men or going out drinking and partying on a regular basis. Once in a while a night out with the girls is fine, but when its a regular occurrence, she is on the prowl.

Happy women don't leave their lion's den, unless they are looking for a better mate.
EVIL_BEAN_KID

User ID: 46981142
United States
09/16/2013 10:47 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
do her kisses taste kinda bleachy?
SLAM THAT CLAM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25868002
United States
09/16/2013 10:47 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
When a woman loves AND respects her man, she would not dare disrespect him posting pictures of herself with other men or going out drinking and partying on a regular basis. Once in a while a night out with the girls is fine, but when its a regular occurrence, she is on the prowl.

Happy women don't leave their lion's den, unless they are looking for a better mate.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15168094
United Kingdom
09/16/2013 10:49 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

I'm afraid if she gets too drunk and some boy comes up flirting with her and she goes out with some individual.

I have trust issues, I know but that is because of my past with my ex. But she loves going out with her friend, and she said she needs a break from me now and again, is that ok?

She added photos on Facebook with some boy while she was out 2 weeks ago with her friend and she went out again with her friend the day after with taking another picture with one of another boy on another night out she knows I see the photos on Facebook so she is obviously not hiding nothing. or is she?

When I ask her questions she blames me for not trusting her so I'm just going to pull back and see what happens.

I know I have trust issues but is that just me? or should I be worried because I love her so much and i don't want to be smothering her. I know she loves me too, I just hope I will overcome these trust issues because I don't want it to spoil our relationship.

What can I do? I know I smother her with love & Complements and I think it might be too much but if i give her too much would she think she's really special and go and cheat on me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Sounds like you value her too much, above yourself. She may or may not be cheating but the fact you value her above yourself and are constantly thinking of her is unhealthy, as is simultaneously lacking trust in her. It seems that the two of you are mismatched in that she is more extroverted and free-spirited than you, more social perhaps. As the more introverted person, you would need to have something of equal or greater value to you (a high-value job perhaps or a hobby you are obsessed with) to compensate for the fact she is going out all the time.

I'd take a step back OP. Don't move with her if you don't trust her. Take time out to value yourself the way you value her, and basically pull back for a few weeks. This does a few important things: One, if she is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about that, so it gives her the room and space to do so. Then, if she does, at least you can break up without having moved to a new home and lost your love as well. Second, it will give you perspective on her and whether this is the relationship you truly want and deserve. Third, it will send her a clear message that she is to respect you and not walk on you, and that if she wants you in her life she'll make a priority for you.

Finally, be clear that you don't want her to see other men. Have you explicitly told her that? Is she completely crystal clear on the fact that you view talking and flirting to be cheating? If you set clear boundaries and expect her to meet them, she must first agree to them so the two of you need to sit down and chat about that and come to an agreement. Crystal clear communication about what does and does not constitute crossing the line needs to be made!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46084613


Sounds probable and acceptable, I have made it very clear to her on the cheating part and I told her about my past and that I have been cheated on before.

She said she was cheated on too. I said if I do catch you cheating I'm gone so just remember that. She said the same to me. I hate feeling like this though I don't want to be too controlling. I think I'm going to take your advice and take a step back and see how the situation plays out.

I still have to learn a lot about being in a relationship and I'm just afraid of losing her because I love her that much. I really think this is a Girl I'm going to marry sometime in the future but a relationship is based on trust and I'm going to have to trust her.

Thank you for your help is any other things that you think I should do?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41612434
United States
09/16/2013 10:51 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Why dont you just goto the same club as her, and hang low and see how she acts once intoxicated. If you wait until she is drunk, then show up, odds are she wont ever see you. Other thing being, keylogger app on her phone lol. Simple but effective.
Kelley_girl

User ID: 8245790
United States
09/16/2013 10:52 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
When a woman loves AND respects her man, she would not dare disrespect him posting pictures of herself with other men or going out drinking and partying on a regular basis. Once in a while a night out with the girls is fine, but when its a regular occurrence, she is on the prowl.

Happy women don't leave their lion's den, unless they are looking for a better mate.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25868002


^^^this
~~Karma might be a slow train
But she tears some shit up
When she comes through!~~
AtsuiPanda
Viva la revolucion!

User ID: 42111357
United States
09/16/2013 10:54 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Why dont you just goto the same club as her, and hang low and see how she acts once intoxicated. If you wait until she is drunk, then show up, odds are she wont ever see you. Other thing being, keylogger app on her phone lol. Simple but effective.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41612434


/jsdfgshsdf/
THE EBOLA-ZOMBIES ARE COMING!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 15168094
United Kingdom
09/16/2013 10:54 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
When a woman loves AND respects her man, she would not dare disrespect him posting pictures of herself with other men or going out drinking and partying on a regular basis. Once in a while a night out with the girls is fine, but when its a regular occurrence, she is on the prowl.

Happy women don't leave their lion's den, unless they are looking for a better mate.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25868002


^^^this
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


But this only happened twice, she just decided to take a break and went partying for a couple of days with her friend.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46084613
United States
09/16/2013 10:56 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

I'm afraid if she gets too drunk and some boy comes up flirting with her and she goes out with some individual.

I have trust issues, I know but that is because of my past with my ex. But she loves going out with her friend, and she said she needs a break from me now and again, is that ok?

She added photos on Facebook with some boy while she was out 2 weeks ago with her friend and she went out again with her friend the day after with taking another picture with one of another boy on another night out she knows I see the photos on Facebook so she is obviously not hiding nothing. or is she?

When I ask her questions she blames me for not trusting her so I'm just going to pull back and see what happens.

I know I have trust issues but is that just me? or should I be worried because I love her so much and i don't want to be smothering her. I know she loves me too, I just hope I will overcome these trust issues because I don't want it to spoil our relationship.

What can I do? I know I smother her with love & Complements and I think it might be too much but if i give her too much would she think she's really special and go and cheat on me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Sounds like you value her too much, above yourself. She may or may not be cheating but the fact you value her above yourself and are constantly thinking of her is unhealthy, as is simultaneously lacking trust in her. It seems that the two of you are mismatched in that she is more extroverted and free-spirited than you, more social perhaps. As the more introverted person, you would need to have something of equal or greater value to you (a high-value job perhaps or a hobby you are obsessed with) to compensate for the fact she is going out all the time.

I'd take a step back OP. Don't move with her if you don't trust her. Take time out to value yourself the way you value her, and basically pull back for a few weeks. This does a few important things: One, if she is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about that, so it gives her the room and space to do so. Then, if she does, at least you can break up without having moved to a new home and lost your love as well. Second, it will give you perspective on her and whether this is the relationship you truly want and deserve. Third, it will send her a clear message that she is to respect you and not walk on you, and that if she wants you in her life she'll make a priority for you.

Finally, be clear that you don't want her to see other men. Have you explicitly told her that? Is she completely crystal clear on the fact that you view talking and flirting to be cheating? If you set clear boundaries and expect her to meet them, she must first agree to them so the two of you need to sit down and chat about that and come to an agreement. Crystal clear communication about what does and does not constitute crossing the line needs to be made!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46084613


Sounds probable and acceptable, I have made it very clear to her on the cheating part and I told her about my past and that I have been cheated on before.

She said she was cheated on too. I said if I do catch you cheating I'm gone so just remember that. She said the same to me. I hate feeling like this though I don't want to be too controlling. I think I'm going to take your advice and take a step back and see how the situation plays out.

I still have to learn a lot about being in a relationship and I'm just afraid of losing her because I love her that much. I really think this is a Girl I'm going to marry sometime in the future but a relationship is based on trust and I'm going to have to trust her.

Thank you for your help is any other things that you think I should do?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


How long have you been dating? Did you ever make it clear that you wanted to be exclusive? It's amazing how many assumptions people make about the status of their relationship without explicitly stating what they want and require, and making their boundaries clear. If you aren't clear about what you will and won't accept, and willing to walk if they are violated, you risk losing the most important relationship of all which is the one you have with yourself. If you don't show your own integrity to yourself by respecting yourself enough to walk away when your boundaries and emotions are being violated, how can you ever trust anyone else or believe others have integrity?

It starts from within. Make it really clear what you want from her, then step back and see what happens. I think you should have one serious conversation with her about what YOU want and expect, and ask her if she is willing to agree to that, otherwise you will walk. It is issuing an ultimatum but if you love her and she loves you it will either lead you to the next phase of your relationship or you will break up, sparing you further heartache down the road.
Matrix-V

User ID: 32905635
Canada
09/16/2013 10:59 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Well I dont know you OP but I will be honest. Right now I just get this weird feeling your girlfriend is sucking every last drop of cum from a 8 inch schlong right now.. sorry but i am a very competent remote viewer.

all the best OP!
wupy

User ID: 41363484
United States
09/16/2013 11:00 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Till you catch her cheatin' it's just you. Paranoia will destroy everything it comes across, especially relationships.

If you have no proof, you ain't got shit.

The problem here is you can't miss something you can't measure.

You simply can't measure that pussy.

This isn't her problem, it's yours. Catch her cheating and woohoo, you get a gold star and days of loneliness that follow.

Stop fucking worrying about it, give her the benefit of the doubt and you're free. Until you catch her cheating. Then you can be the rain man.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46854055
United States
09/16/2013 11:02 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
do her kisses taste kinda bleachy?
 Quoting: EVIL_BEAN_KID


What is that suppose to mean???
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45863579
Russian Federation
09/16/2013 11:03 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Club girls are sluts. It won't work long term my man.

Never trust a club slut.
Matrix-V

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09/16/2013 11:03 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
do her kisses taste kinda bleachy?
 Quoting: EVIL_BEAN_KID


What is that suppose to mean???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46854055


because shes still sucking on a huge dong and cum is a little bleechy tasting.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25868002
United States
09/16/2013 11:05 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
When a woman loves AND respects her man, she would not dare disrespect him posting pictures of herself with other men or going out drinking and partying on a regular basis. Once in a while a night out with the girls is fine, but when its a regular occurrence, she is on the prowl.

Happy women don't leave their lion's den, unless they are looking for a better mate.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25868002


^^^this
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


But this only happened twice, she just decided to take a break and went partying for a couple of days with her friend.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Dude, if she was totally head over heels for you, she'd be by your side or in the gym keeping fit. Only one reason women go out with other women 'partying'...

And its not for the beer.
Matrix-V

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09/16/2013 11:07 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
You can't control other people's behavior
 Quoting: Open Your Eyes


really? I think tazers and chloroform dictates otherwise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46854055
United States
09/16/2013 11:07 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
do her kisses taste kinda bleachy?
 Quoting: EVIL_BEAN_KID


What is that suppose to mean???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46854055


because shes still sucking on a huge dong and cum is a little bleechy tasting.
 Quoting: Matrix-V


I didn't know that but I guess you do.

Thanks for the answer.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25868002
United States
09/16/2013 11:08 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Fwiw, when two people really love each other, they dontvneed to set rules and boundaries, they have a mutual love and respect for each other. Issues like these are not even on the radar.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46982511
United States
09/16/2013 11:10 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
she is. break up with her asap
Simple_Man

User ID: 15977994
United States
09/16/2013 11:11 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
You got to be kidding me right?

you are in a committed relationship and she goes and parties into the early mornings getting drunk and shaking her ass on the dance floor ....at a place where all the single men and most of the non single men are looking to tear the box out the frame ?

Just from the way you wrote your post I can tell that you have issues ..... You rely on women to measure your self worth .... You prob have low self esteem and being with a women makes you feel better ...

Problem is that because you are like this you think that you must be with a woman and because you think like this you will accept any type of woman

she either did really care about you but now she's considering other options and possibly already in another mans bed or she never did care about you ...either way it sounds like it won't last but if you do want it to continue because you think that she does really love but is confused then you need to be a man and tell her matter of factly that her behavior is unacceptable ....

Don't scream ,yell and curse her ....just calmly her how her actions are hurting you and causing you turmoil and that her going out partying in the one night stand buildings isn't working for you at all....

If she stops then good ...maybe she does care about you and maybe y'all can work things out .....if not then tell her that its over .....

Believe me ....if I'm right about you having low self esteem and other insecurities ...it will be better for you if you break up with her then if she breaks up with you

No matter what happens you need to do some serious self introspection and some type of therapy ...the fact that you think that a woman that would do this type of thing to you truly loves you shows that you don't know what love is at all .... Love isn't a feeling , it can cause feelings but love is an action ....her actions say that she doesn't love you

Last Edited by Simple_Man on 09/16/2013 11:19 PM
EVIL_BEAN_KID

User ID: 46981142
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09/16/2013 11:11 PM

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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
do her kisses taste kinda bleachy?
 Quoting: EVIL_BEAN_KID


What is that suppose to mean???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46854055


because shes still sucking on a huge dong and cum is a little bleechy tasting.
 Quoting: Matrix-V


I didn't know that but I guess you do.

Thanks for the answer.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46854055


c'mon you never tasted your own nut?

you've tatsted other guys cuz youve kissed her
SLAM THAT CLAM
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46982102
United Kingdom
09/16/2013 11:12 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
fuck off the relationship youre going to ruin it anyway even if she is innocent.

just save the girl the heartache and yourself the mental issues that your going to create.

serious.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United Kingdom
09/16/2013 11:12 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

I'm afraid if she gets too drunk and some boy comes up flirting with her and she goes out with some individual.

I have trust issues, I know but that is because of my past with my ex. But she loves going out with her friend, and she said she needs a break from me now and again, is that ok?

She added photos on Facebook with some boy while she was out 2 weeks ago with her friend and she went out again with her friend the day after with taking another picture with one of another boy on another night out she knows I see the photos on Facebook so she is obviously not hiding nothing. or is she?

When I ask her questions she blames me for not trusting her so I'm just going to pull back and see what happens.

I know I have trust issues but is that just me? or should I be worried because I love her so much and i don't want to be smothering her. I know she loves me too, I just hope I will overcome these trust issues because I don't want it to spoil our relationship.

What can I do? I know I smother her with love & Complements and I think it might be too much but if i give her too much would she think she's really special and go and cheat on me?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Sounds like you value her too much, above yourself. She may or may not be cheating but the fact you value her above yourself and are constantly thinking of her is unhealthy, as is simultaneously lacking trust in her. It seems that the two of you are mismatched in that she is more extroverted and free-spirited than you, more social perhaps. As the more introverted person, you would need to have something of equal or greater value to you (a high-value job perhaps or a hobby you are obsessed with) to compensate for the fact she is going out all the time.

I'd take a step back OP. Don't move with her if you don't trust her. Take time out to value yourself the way you value her, and basically pull back for a few weeks. This does a few important things: One, if she is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about that, so it gives her the room and space to do so. Then, if she does, at least you can break up without having moved to a new home and lost your love as well. Second, it will give you perspective on her and whether this is the relationship you truly want and deserve. Third, it will send her a clear message that she is to respect you and not walk on you, and that if she wants you in her life she'll make a priority for you.

Finally, be clear that you don't want her to see other men. Have you explicitly told her that? Is she completely crystal clear on the fact that you view talking and flirting to be cheating? If you set clear boundaries and expect her to meet them, she must first agree to them so the two of you need to sit down and chat about that and come to an agreement. Crystal clear communication about what does and does not constitute crossing the line needs to be made!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46084613


Sounds probable and acceptable, I have made it very clear to her on the cheating part and I told her about my past and that I have been cheated on before.

She said she was cheated on too. I said if I do catch you cheating I'm gone so just remember that. She said the same to me. I hate feeling like this though I don't want to be too controlling. I think I'm going to take your advice and take a step back and see how the situation plays out.

I still have to learn a lot about being in a relationship and I'm just afraid of losing her because I love her that much. I really think this is a Girl I'm going to marry sometime in the future but a relationship is based on trust and I'm going to have to trust her.

Thank you for your help is any other things that you think I should do?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


How long have you been dating? Did you ever make it clear that you wanted to be exclusive? It's amazing how many assumptions people make about the status of their relationship without explicitly stating what they want and require, and making their boundaries clear. If you aren't clear about what you will and won't accept, and willing to walk if they are violated, you risk losing the most important relationship of all which is the one you have with yourself. If you don't show your own integrity to yourself by respecting yourself enough to walk away when your boundaries and emotions are being violated, how can you ever trust anyone else or believe others have integrity?

It starts from within. Make it really clear what you want from her, then step back and see what happens. I think you should have one serious conversation with her about what YOU want and expect, and ask her if she is willing to agree to that, otherwise you will walk. It is issuing an ultimatum but if you love her and she loves you it will either lead you to the next phase of your relationship or you will break up, sparing you further heartache down the road.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46084613


We have been going out now six months, I don't know if it's just me or it's her. I hate thinking about these types of things. She knows I'm suspicious and I said what were you doing with that other guy on the photo she said it's just a photo the guy is a wanker anyway.

Do you think she is trying to hide something?

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