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I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46982102
United Kingdom
09/16/2013 11:13 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
...


What is that suppose to mean???
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46854055


because shes still sucking on a huge dong and cum is a little bleechy tasting.
 Quoting: Matrix-V


I didn't know that but I guess you do.

Thanks for the answer.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46854055


c'mon you never tasted your own nut?

you've tatsted other guys cuz youve kissed her
 Quoting: EVIL_BEAN_KID


it even smells like bleach!

I cant believe some people never noticed!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 35401316
Canada
09/16/2013 11:18 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
This issue stems from your childhood. Either your mom cheated on your dad or your Dad cheated on your mom. Or. It's some jumbled feeling wanting to be accepted. Maybe you have secrets you won't share and your partner can sense it.

You could just be annoying tho. Who knows...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46084613
United States
09/16/2013 11:20 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Fwiw, when two people really love each other, they dontvneed to set rules and boundaries, they have a mutual love and respect for each other. Issues like these are not even on the radar.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25868002


Actually, when two people love each other and the relationship works well (the two can be mutually exclusive!) the key element is good communication. You can't have any type of decent relationship without it. People can't read minds. Often you have to open your mouth and ask your partner how they see things; presumably, you got together because you were different but complementary. You might fit well together but have very diverse views about specific things, and if you don't ask, you don't know, do you? Clearly, OP's girlfriend sees nothing wrong with her behavior or she would not be so blase about it. He is hurting but she either doesn't get that because they aren't communicating clearly or because she is trying to sabotage the relationship. In this case some rules and boundaries would help since OP's not clear on them and the GF hasn't got the message.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44171044
Finland
09/16/2013 11:25 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I assume people here come and ask "help" or "opinions" about PERSONAL matters because they want different perspectives and ideas how to look at things and think of them.. hopefully.. and not to get some miracle solution by the number of votes like: "44.2% of users at GLP said you are a stupid slut and I should divorce you, so I will."

So, here is MY perspective again. I don't know practically anything about either you or your "girl". But what it sounds like is that you are (both) very young and you have bought some silly Hollywood image about "true love" and all that bullshit. Meanwhile, "your girl" has bought the superficial moron culture that glamours "going out" and "socializing" (like getting drunk and dancing like a 20$ slut is "socializing") with people instead of cultivating her mind, skills and knowledge about world, people and REAL things around us. Sounds like a generic attention whore that is neither material for a LTR or marriage or even less to be a mother of your children in the future.

What comes to your "trust issues" .. trust is not some miraculous thing that should be awarded to every people when starting a new relationship (be it friendship or sexual or work related or anything else), because the history has taught us, 99% of people cannot be trusted worth a shit. However, it doesn't mean you should use your valuable time to worry and carry other people's morale and choices around on a daily basis.

You can build and test your trust to her (and she to you as well) with small things when the time goes by and you have a "history" that is worth something. "But I have known her for at least a year and we have been dating like 3 months" -type of bullshit doesn't qualify.

Either she has something in common with you and she wants to build "a life" and companionship with you or she doesn't.

Overall it sounds like you already know she is not "material" for a serious companionship and relationship and you just already grieve for her as you tried to fill in a hole in your life with another people - and it never works.

Sorry if I was mistaken or misinformed about the situation. If your "trust issue" is truly something that is "wrong" with you, just start to work on it slowly. Give yourself goals like "I can be 2 weeks without stalking on her stupid facebook and whining about her social whoring" etc. See how it goes..

If your girls becomes angry about it and starts to make you jealous just to make you "care", she ain't worth the effort and you better find someone with half a brain and personality.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46840943
Australia
09/16/2013 11:31 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
I keep on thinking my Girlfriend is cheating on me and I'm planning on moving over to England with her in a few days.

She loves going out to the bars and clubs partying with her friend, she is going out tomorrow after me taking her out for the weekend buying her a few drinks and set her up for a hotel, but I just cant seem trust her & I don't know why.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


If she is that type of girl, and you feel it in your guts, then I would say you are right.

Get over her as she might be a slut.

Find a decent woman.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46840943
Australia
09/16/2013 11:32 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
Do you think she is trying to hide something?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


If you feel it, end it.

Either way you are fucked now.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45572528
United States
09/16/2013 11:34 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
OP, please read this and know in your heart that i am caring about your well being.

man the fuck up!

even if she is cheating, IT IS YOU. right and wrong, all the wondering you do, is it me or her... you don't even like yourself so why should she??????

you pushed her away with all your goo oozing at her.

let her go and get some self esteem. not fake artificial dick vibe you read from a book. Like, find what is special about yourself, what makes you unique and explore it. your soul balls haven't dropped bro. sorry.

there is a chance she will stick it out with you but you do not have her respect. i know that not because of her actions but because of yours. there are women who will help you with your confidence but that kind of woman splits once you grow a pair.

also, you can just keep doing what you are doing and die without having lived to your true potential. your little choice.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 12966144
United States
09/16/2013 11:37 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
She's cheating on you. A guy's 6th sense is usually right. We often try to rationalize our way out of believing it, but if you think it's happening, it probably is.

I would break up with her and see what happens. If she is really the one for you, she will give you every opportunity to get back together. If not, good riddance. It will be total shit for a few days or even weeks, but you will eventually look back and thank the lord you didn't waste any more time.
 Quoting: CrazyEyesThreadKilla


Yep, 6th sense. Too bad you don't live near me, as I would detective her for free to give you closure. I once dated a guy I had the same sense, and so I did some detective work of my own. Turns out. I was right. The rich hire PI's to dig on prospective mates, if that tells you anything.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 9741935
United States
09/16/2013 11:39 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
When a woman loves AND respects her man, she would not dare disrespect him posting pictures of herself with other men or going out drinking and partying on a regular basis. Once in a while a night out with the girls is fine, but when its a regular occurrence, she is on the prowl.

Happy women don't leave their lion's den, unless they are looking for a better mate.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25868002


^^^this
 Quoting: Kelley_girl


But this only happened twice, she just decided to take a break and went partying for a couple of days with her friend.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


What? Partying for a couple days? Get your head out of your ass and dump her! Instead of crying because you miss her, go get friendly with an asian masseuse as often as needed till you meet a better chick. Take your time and test drive a couple different ones!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46084613
United States
09/16/2013 11:49 PM
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Re: I cant seem to trust my Girlfriend and I keep on thinking that she is cheating on me?
...


Sounds like you value her too much, above yourself. She may or may not be cheating but the fact you value her above yourself and are constantly thinking of her is unhealthy, as is simultaneously lacking trust in her. It seems that the two of you are mismatched in that she is more extroverted and free-spirited than you, more social perhaps. As the more introverted person, you would need to have something of equal or greater value to you (a high-value job perhaps or a hobby you are obsessed with) to compensate for the fact she is going out all the time.

I'd take a step back OP. Don't move with her if you don't trust her. Take time out to value yourself the way you value her, and basically pull back for a few weeks. This does a few important things: One, if she is going to cheat, there's nothing you can do about that, so it gives her the room and space to do so. Then, if she does, at least you can break up without having moved to a new home and lost your love as well. Second, it will give you perspective on her and whether this is the relationship you truly want and deserve. Third, it will send her a clear message that she is to respect you and not walk on you, and that if she wants you in her life she'll make a priority for you.

Finally, be clear that you don't want her to see other men. Have you explicitly told her that? Is she completely crystal clear on the fact that you view talking and flirting to be cheating? If you set clear boundaries and expect her to meet them, she must first agree to them so the two of you need to sit down and chat about that and come to an agreement. Crystal clear communication about what does and does not constitute crossing the line needs to be made!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46084613


Sounds probable and acceptable, I have made it very clear to her on the cheating part and I told her about my past and that I have been cheated on before.

She said she was cheated on too. I said if I do catch you cheating I'm gone so just remember that. She said the same to me. I hate feeling like this though I don't want to be too controlling. I think I'm going to take your advice and take a step back and see how the situation plays out.

I still have to learn a lot about being in a relationship and I'm just afraid of losing her because I love her that much. I really think this is a Girl I'm going to marry sometime in the future but a relationship is based on trust and I'm going to have to trust her.

Thank you for your help is any other things that you think I should do?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


How long have you been dating? Did you ever make it clear that you wanted to be exclusive? It's amazing how many assumptions people make about the status of their relationship without explicitly stating what they want and require, and making their boundaries clear. If you aren't clear about what you will and won't accept, and willing to walk if they are violated, you risk losing the most important relationship of all which is the one you have with yourself. If you don't show your own integrity to yourself by respecting yourself enough to walk away when your boundaries and emotions are being violated, how can you ever trust anyone else or believe others have integrity?

It starts from within. Make it really clear what you want from her, then step back and see what happens. I think you should have one serious conversation with her about what YOU want and expect, and ask her if she is willing to agree to that, otherwise you will walk. It is issuing an ultimatum but if you love her and she loves you it will either lead you to the next phase of your relationship or you will break up, sparing you further heartache down the road.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46084613


We have been going out now six months, I don't know if it's just me or it's her. I hate thinking about these types of things. She knows I'm suspicious and I said what were you doing with that other guy on the photo she said it's just a photo the guy is a wanker anyway.

Do you think she is trying to hide something?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 15168094


Six months is usually the make it or break it mark. Long enough to be exclusive and clear about it and short enough that you won't have to lose half your shit if you part ways. I think the fact you don't know if it's you or her is an indicator that some time apart is needed in order for you to get your head straight about it. Whether or not she is hiding anything is not really as important right now as how YOU feel about the situation. If I were your girlfriend I'd feel very confused about why you're loving and effusive one moment and distant and distrustful the second. She might be taking steps out of the relationship, or it may be innocent, but further analysis on your part is not going to help you very much. Neither is knowing the truth, as you are already hurting, correct?

I think you should just take a break. Tell her exactly how you feel, tell her you are disappointed in her behavior but you don't wish to control her, you want to trust but you have issues. It's not her, it's really you, and you need some time to work on yourself. This will be empowering because a) you didn't get cheated on to your knowledge and b) you are the one in control who is doing the leaving instead of vice versa. You need time, confidence and clarity, and I don't think you will get it if you continue in this relationship. I second whoever said to get some therapy or counseling to improve your self-worth and get over trust issues. Good luck, OP. Love will be waiting when you learn how to love yourself.

hf

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