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Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church

 
Ms. Superduper
Never, ever give up

User ID: 46155084
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09/19/2013 06:07 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Oh no. If he was like that mentally, it's good thing he didn't ruin two lives after marriage instead of just one. Terrible as it is, what if he did something to the wife later on? Just awful.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
09/19/2013 06:08 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
this is a normal effect for a wedding

anonstoner

someone always loses a testical
M1.618

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09/19/2013 06:08 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Awkward...
wmMmw
Saddletramp
We Don't Rent Pigs...

User ID: 47126337
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09/19/2013 06:11 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Uuuuum it wasn't the groom that did that! Right? I think it was a guest!
 Quoting: TheWayWeWere


There goes ol' crazy uncle Larry whacking his balls off again!!!

glpuncle
"And how can a man die better than facing fearful odds, for the ashes of his fathers, and the temples of his Gods..." ~ Horatius

"Because he told the truth, and once you've heard the truth, everything else is just cheap whiskey..."
-GLP-Christian-
Potential Terrorist Under Svea Banér

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09/19/2013 06:14 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Some friends of mine had to deal with a similar situation with a guy that cut his weiner off except for the skin so he ran around with his bleeding weiner but bent and they chasing him on train tracks.

It was wild and nobody really wanted to touch him (because of all the blood), they had to use shields to take him down and I guess he lost a lot of blood in the process so he got kinda weak in the end.

Guy survived, dunno if they did a bobbit on the guy, sewing it back on or not. Probably, I know the dude survived that thing though.

Imagine chasing a guy that cut his penis and runs around bleeing all over the place and onto train tracks.

That's just crazy.

Last Edited by -GLP-Christian- on 09/19/2013 06:16 PM
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2013 06:15 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
this is a normal effect for a wedding

anonstoner

someone always loses a testical
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 21548336


Always.

cool2
Ms. Superduper
Never, ever give up

User ID: 46155084
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09/19/2013 06:17 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Some friends of mine had to deal with a similar situation with a guy that cut his weiner off except for the skin so he ran around with his bleeding weiner but bent and they chasing him on train tracks.

It was wild and nobody really wanted to touch him (because of all the blood), they had to use shields to take him down and I guess he lost a lot of blood in the process so he got kinda weak in the end.

Guy survived, dunno if they did a bobbit on the guy, sewing it back on or not. Probably, I know the dude survived that thing though.

Imagine chasing a guy that cut his penis and runs around bleeing all over the place and onto train tracks.

That's just crazy.
 Quoting: -GLP-Christian-


Yeah. I wish I hadn't read that.
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2013 06:17 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Oh wow what kinda freakish hell was that bitch putting him thorough that the poor guy had to restore to this to get out of the fucking deal!

Fuck marriage! I aint getting married. EVER!

skull_fing
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2013 06:19 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
It says nothing about this guy being the groom. Nothing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47123200


Neither does the original post. What are you even talking about? Did you just assume that it was?
Ms. Superduper
Never, ever give up

User ID: 46155084
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09/19/2013 06:19 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
It says nothing about this guy being the groom. Nothing.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47123200


Neither does the original post. What are you even talking about? Did you just assume that it was?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 19492756


Why yes I did.
Ms. Superduper
Never, ever give up

User ID: 46155084
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09/19/2013 06:20 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Okay. I reread the article. It wasn't the groom, was it? Maybe the scorned one?
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2013 06:22 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
he spoiled her future enjoyment, females relish doing it slowly and deliberately , so he is one up on her now.
gheylos

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09/19/2013 06:29 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
he spoiled her future enjoyment, females relish doing it slowly and deliberately , so he is one up on her now.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47081219


LOL win^^^^
where the hood at
origional Dr.GreenThumb
User ID: 18811949
United States
09/19/2013 06:31 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Thats one hell of a sign right there for them not get married.
Ranger Batman

User ID: 40294666
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09/19/2013 06:36 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Came in like a wrecking ballllll 999
You ever see Ranger Batman in his batman costume, very dapper. Do you like 3 siren alerts? --Hawk-02

21,M,Single
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2013 06:39 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
NO MORE 'pocket pool' for him !
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 46975156
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09/19/2013 06:40 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
He probably just logged off of GLP.
MysticSleuth

User ID: 42469547
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09/19/2013 06:41 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Im not wrong for thinking this is hilarious am I?
ball catcher
User ID: 46425078
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09/19/2013 06:49 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Ive heard about cold feet but this is stretching it a bit damned
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 46886278


Ummmm yep, "STRETCHING IT A BIT"...UH WHEN DA SCISSORS WAS CUTTING THOSE JEWELS OFF, HE HAD TO PULL THAT SCROTUM SKIN REAL LONG, WOW MUST OF BEEN SHARP FUCKING SCISSORS! WONDER WHAT KIND OF DRUG HE WAS ON! R O F'N Lshockeddrevilalonezombies ahhh LOL
BioReaper
Come, Come don't be shy!

User ID: 6842173
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09/19/2013 07:02 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
"If anyone here knows any reason why this couple should not be united in holy matrimony, please saw your nuts off"
I've created a lead based cure for syphilis!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 42114881
United States
09/19/2013 07:16 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
It's England, what can you say? He wasn't using 'em anyways. It's all good.
Dude99
User ID: 46425078
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09/19/2013 07:19 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
It's England, what can you say? He wasn't using 'em anyways. It's all good.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 42114881

om OMG.....I just found out WHO, cut there nuts off! WOA! It was Bill gates! damned2ukbillgatesbeavis
Anonymous Coward
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Spain
09/19/2013 07:23 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Wedding Delayed


cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 41865263
United States
09/19/2013 07:26 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
This is actually fucking tragic and sad.

He must be completely psychotic.

It isn't funny people
Matrix-V

User ID: 32905635
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09/19/2013 07:26 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
that dude is nuts!!
Watching the world
Crypt Watcher

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09/19/2013 07:31 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
skinny jeans
Ignorance is bliss until reality bites you in the ass.

I bury the dead.
Anonymous Coward
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09/19/2013 07:36 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Brentwood, England - It is not uncommon for the planning of a wedding to cause a certain amount of stress. Many couples go to great lengths to anticipate a wide array of potential problems and to set up contingency plans in case of the unexpected. But a couple was caught flat footed on Saturday at All Saints Church, in Hutton Village Road, Hutton, when a man charged into the church having just lopped of his own testicles.

An hour prior to the "I do's," a blood soaked man stormed into the church. As a result, guest were greeted by police cars rather than ushers.

One guest described the scene: “There was blood all over the floor just outside the church. When I went in there it was like someone had been murdered. There was blood everywhere. The vicar knew of the man and said he had come into the church as they were setting up. He said the man had chopped his testicles off with a pair of scissors and was going bezerk, chucking chairs around. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out. When I went in the church, I saw something on the floor which I could only describe as flesh, which I thought was part of his arm but that was one of his testicles.”

[link to www.breitbart.com]

:cruiiiseeee3:
 Quoting: + DL +




Sounds like a demon possessed asshole that used to live a few blocks from me. This guy even described demons coming out of the walls of his house, etc... He cut off his own nuts with a pair of scissors, and almost bled to death, before the ambulance got to his house.
Duk3 Nuk3m 3h

User ID: 28555024
Canada
09/19/2013 07:37 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Literal interpretation of scripture. In this case his balls caused him sin.


Matthew 18:9 KJV
And if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out , and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47117443
United Kingdom
09/19/2013 07:53 PM
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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
Some friends of mine had to deal with a similar situation with a guy that cut his weiner off except for the skin so he ran around with his bleeding weiner but bent and they chasing him on train tracks.

It was wild and nobody really wanted to touch him (because of all the blood), they had to use shields to take him down and I guess he lost a lot of blood in the process so he got kinda weak in the end.

Guy survived, dunno if they did a bobbit on the guy, sewing it back on or not. Probably, I know the dude survived that thing though.

Imagine chasing a guy that cut his penis and runs around bleeing all over the place and onto train tracks.

That's just crazy.
 Quoting: -GLP-Christian-


Did he catch the train in the end though?
waterman

User ID: 47126201
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09/19/2013 07:55 PM

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Re: Wedding Delayed After Man Hacks Off Own Testicles and Storms Church
I am a half inch shy of being 5ft. I always lie and say I’m 5ft because being shorter than 5ft seems freakish to me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 32202465


It is freakish and now when you tell the story you can add that you got a second opinion and the 2nd opinion said it was freakish too.
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