what would you do if your spouse threatened to KILL you?

I would get divorced. This being said it all depends on the tone of the voice when said

hide the ammo

put my arms around him and love him.

unless he is unbalanced.

then someone would have to leave.

Sleep with one eye open.

i am the one unbalanced right now, with hormones, PMS...
He kept pushing a question on me and I asked him 3 times to do the other time (food was burning, kid was wining, etc)The question was pretty involved (about our child education).
The creep kept on pushing the issue, and I finally blew up.
Then he comes around like a 'saint' passively agressively saying that 'it was just a simple question, why couldn't i just answer....bla bla..'
I yelled at him saying that if i ask him stop pushing, he should stop.
WTF?
He said 'you going to talk to me like this, I am fucking going to kill you'. he said it 3 times and slammed the door.
He never threatened me before.
The kid heard our fighting, and of course, the mommy looks like the one with the anger problem, because daddy speaks quetly (but what and when he says it what makes my blood boil)....

anyway, the day is ruined, and I am really upset.

Get the hell out of that relationship however you can and as soon as you can.

I had a girlfriend once that constantly threatened to kill somebody over nothing. When she carried a loaded gun to her daughter's wedding because she was mad at her ex-husband and her daughter's new mother-in-law, that did it for me. The next day I got in my car, drove away and never looked back.

well, he doesn't have an anger problem.
I am the one with hormones.
And yes, I am pmsing.
Still, threatening to kill me?
He did try to apologize saying he didn't mean it, but i don't know what to make of this now.

I'd like to say, "Kill her first", but I'm not homicidally inclined.

Can't get a restraining order, because that only works for women.

Can't throw her out of the house because of the kids, and the law would give her the house anyway.

Shit. I'd be SOL!



:dubya:

Kill him, before he kills you, be swift and shreud, bury the body under the patio...............no one will ever think of looking there ;)

do i have grounds getting a restraining order?

He took the kid and left to go a store 'to give me a break'.

I will take the time to answer this question with something that happened to me years ago

A few years ago I was dating a girl who for 5 years,she was a hairdresser and her and her boss (female) decided to go out after work for a drink.I didn't have a problem with her going out after work as I know that standing for 10 hours can be tiresome.Anyways,while she and her boss were out having a drink her boss's boyfriend showed up and started to fight with his girlfriend (my girlfriends boss) he wound up breaking her nose (his girlfriend) and after this happened he split and my girlfriend and her boss came to my place for help.I decided to drive them both to the hospital but on the way my girlfriends boss asked me to take her back to her place to get her dogs away from there so that her bf wouldn't harm them.I did .
This was my first mistake.While I was getting her dog her b/f showed up and came at me and my g/f and her boss with a

Meat cleaver
Butcher knife
20lbs barbell

I managed to take all 3 items away from him and keep the girls safe.When the cops showed up I was almost 'shot' because I was holding the guy down in a choke hold and I wasn't about to release him until he was in cuffs..This went on for over 3 hours before the cops showed up...

When I finally got home with my 'ex' girlfriend she decided to start an argument with me because she was over tired ( she was not in a good mood)

During her argument she blurted out

'the guy should have killed me'

This was for no reason and after she said that?

I PACKED MY BAGS AND LEFT

So 'op' does this answer your question?

Hope so

GhostHunter

I would Run!

It's time to run. Take the kid and disapear. I mean out of state, or out of country if need be. Where he can't find you. Not to your kin folk or friends that he knows about anyway. Don't even tell them where you are.

If he said he would kill you, he will. And then an hour later he will come and apologize to your dead body and swear that he didn't mean to do it. You'll still be dead tho.

I'm so sorry. I've seen it happen.

Ghost Hunter

A chilling tale, but a good example of what to do.

IE. Get the HELL out as fast as you can, by any means necessary!

BTW, you should have turned the asshole thug guy into a ghost!!!

Some people say things in anger they don`t mean,just depends on how well you know this person,if they are mental well that`s different.

gh
scary story.

I take it back, he did threatened me in the past. Usually it was in times, when I called him names.
He'd say something like 'you'd better watch it or you'd better not say that again."

She turned out to be a nut job from last I heard.She wounded up dating a person that i knew and on the first day that they moved in together she cracked him in the head with a frying pan...

They are no longer together

The people of the earth needs to learn what the Peaceful Solution is teaching!
peacefulsolution.com

and he is a stable guy, much calmer than i am.

He rarely flips, mostly under stress.

I've lived with him for 7 years and there is not much history of violence really, maybe pushing sometimes (which I do as well). But we argue a lot.

99269
hi there
I have a LOT of experience with passive aggressive men.

they never get over it (they don't really want to).

this argument sounds like a power struggle to me.

p-a men are weak, but they want to be thought of as strong. they will pick a fight like he did with you so that he can 'show you who's boss.'

he enjoys the drama, as it is one of the only times he feels in control.

I would bet that he blames everybody else for what goes wrong in his life. I'll bet he hates his 'stupid' boss but sucks up to him anyway.

I'll bet that you do not welcome your husband's touch.

all I can say is, they don't change. if you are satisfied with your life, then enjoy. if you are dying inside, make plans to leave.

you could ask him to get relationship counseling but he will say no. he won't be willing to get counseling until you have filed the divorce papers and he is on his knees in tears begging you to take him back. go ahead, take him back. he won't change then, either.

btw, he won't hurt you, he's too chicken. if you ever need to stop him in his tracks, just mention his mother. he will go from beast to babe in a heartbeat.

most women who are murdered in the US are killed by their husband or bf. I don't think this one wants to kill you...but I wouldn't be keeping any loaded guns around the house either.

"I've lived with him for 7 years and there is not much history of violence really, maybe pushing sometimes (which I do as well). But we argue a lot."


When a relationship gets to that point it is time to seperate.

Ok, do you think i should get a restraining order?

The restraining order issues sounds like a lot of problems down the road.
That means he has to move out, we'll be onfile in the police department, kid is going to be emotionally traumatized. Then what? Divorce?
So messy.

All GLP readers should check out John Ross's words of wisdom re marriage, relationships etc. in his "Ross in Range" blog at;

[link to www.john-ross.net]

OP...

have you ever read a book called THE POWER OF NOW ?

there is amazing insight in this book about women and PMS....

could provide you with a real shift if you can get your hand's on a copy.

Only you have the answer you are seeking.

Re: the above link to John Ross's site;

You want to check out the various "Ask The Assassin" articles for some insight into relationships and marriage.

thanks I'll check it out.

Still, i don't want this just let go like nothing happened. Those were pretty serious words.
I think I won't talk to him for few days and no sex for another 2 months.

I had a restraining order once, it was useless. it's only useful for situations where you KNOW the relationship is over, and the guy won't stop coming around or threatening you. it's a can of worms once you start getting the law involved in your home life. (however, if you truly fear for your life, call 911.)

in your case, it sounds like you haven't reached the breaking up stage yet. from the outside looking in, it's easy to say you should walk away. but from within the relationship, there are a lot more issues involved.

one thing you can and should do is get some counseling for yourself. the fact that you are willing to stay in a relationship where you are regularly disrespected says you have self-respect issues of your own. until that is addressed, you will not be capable of having a respectful relationship with him or another. so please take the time to find out more about yourself and what is driving you to be in an unhealthy relationship. you are not anyone's doormat, but just lashing out at him for bad treatment is not solving your woundedness that brought him into your life in the first place. at least find a book or something, but counseling would be better.

your child needs counseling too. watch and see how they are acting after coming back from the store with daddy--betcha daddy is trying to influence the child's allegiance. keep an eye on that.

you have a right to express yourself. however, if you have un-dealt-with issues, your expressions will come out with emotional charge on them and he will be reacting to that rather than what you have tried to express. communication is something you can take more responsibility for.

99269

"and no sex for another 2 months."

Oh Yeah! That'll work!

John Ross has some excellent and strong things to say about this typical female attitude.

ac10
User ID: 99602
5/29/2006 1:10 PM Re: what would you do if your spouse threatened to KILL you?


this argument sounds like a power struggle to me. (i agree, the way I treat him is demasculizing him)

p-a men are weak, but they want to be thought of as strong. they will pick a fight like he did with you so that he can 'show you who's boss.' (he doesn't usually pick fights, however, when i ask him to stop, he doesn't.. and that infuriates me. I have a low tolerance for stress, and he conveniently 'forgets' it.
He actually forgets many things that just infuriate me. I have to repeat things over and over)

he enjoys the drama, as it is one of the only times he feels in control. (no, he doesn't want drama, he wants peace, and I am the one who needs drama)

I would bet that he blames everybody else for what goes wrong in his life. I'll bet he hates his 'stupid' boss but sucks up to him anyway. (that sounds more like me :-))

I'll bet that you do not welcome your husband's touch. (the only times he seem to touch me is to give me hug in the morning and night, and in hallways touching my butt, or only when he wants sex. I am touch deprived really)



btw, he won't hurt you, he's too chicken. if you ever need to stop him in his tracks, just mention his mother. he will go from beast to babe in a heartbeat. ( i can agree with that i think)

most women who are murdered in the US are killed by their husband or bf. I don't think this one wants to kill you...but I wouldn't be keeping any loaded guns around the house either.