what would you do if your spouse threatened to KILL you? | |
Dino1 User ID: 14967 United States 05/29/2006 12:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 30966 United States 05/29/2006 12:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 74186 United States 05/29/2006 12:42 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99610 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 12:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 12:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | He kept pushing a question on me and I asked him 3 times to do the other time (food was burning, kid was wining, etc)The question was pretty involved (about our child education). The creep kept on pushing the issue, and I finally blew up. Then he comes around like a 'saint' passively agressively saying that 'it was just a simple question, why couldn't i just answer....bla bla..' I yelled at him saying that if i ask him stop pushing, he should stop. WTF? He said 'you going to talk to me like this, I am fucking going to kill you'. he said it 3 times and slammed the door. He never threatened me before. The kid heard our fighting, and of course, the mommy looks like the one with the anger problem, because daddy speaks quetly (but what and when he says it what makes my blood boil).... anyway, the day is ruined, and I am really upset. |
apocalyptic1 User ID: 98220 United States 05/29/2006 12:49 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99619 United States 05/29/2006 12:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I had a girlfriend once that constantly threatened to kill somebody over nothing. When she carried a loaded gun to her daughter's wedding because she was mad at her ex-husband and her daughter's new mother-in-law, that did it for me. The next day I got in my car, drove away and never looked back. |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 12:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99622 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 12:57 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I'd like to say, "Kill her first", but I'm not homicidally inclined. Can't get a restraining order, because that only works for women. Can't throw her out of the house because of the kids, and the law would give her the house anyway. Shit. I'd be SOL! :dubya: |
fcuk wit User ID: 73914 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 12:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 12:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
GhostHunter User ID: 99599 Canada 05/29/2006 12:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I will take the time to answer this question with something that happened to me years ago A few years ago I was dating a girl who for 5 years,she was a hairdresser and her and her boss (female) decided to go out after work for a drink.I didn't have a problem with her going out after work as I know that standing for 10 hours can be tiresome.Anyways,while she and her boss were out having a drink her boss's boyfriend showed up and started to fight with his girlfriend (my girlfriends boss) he wound up breaking her nose (his girlfriend) and after this happened he split and my girlfriend and her boss came to my place for help.I decided to drive them both to the hospital but on the way my girlfriends boss asked me to take her back to her place to get her dogs away from there so that her bf wouldn't harm them.I did . This was my first mistake.While I was getting her dog her b/f showed up and came at me and my g/f and her boss with a Meat cleaver Butcher knife 20lbs barbell I managed to take all 3 items away from him and keep the girls safe.When the cops showed up I was almost 'shot' because I was holding the guy down in a choke hold and I wasn't about to release him until he was in cuffs..This went on for over 3 hours before the cops showed up... When I finally got home with my 'ex' girlfriend she decided to start an argument with me because she was over tired ( she was not in a good mood) During her argument she blurted out 'the guy should have killed me' This was for no reason and after she said that? I PACKED MY BAGS AND LEFT So 'op' does this answer your question? Hope so GhostHunter Time Is An Event Wasted |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99627 United States 05/29/2006 01:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 14849 United States 05/29/2006 01:02 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | It's time to run. Take the kid and disapear. I mean out of state, or out of country if need be. Where he can't find you. Not to your kin folk or friends that he knows about anyway. Don't even tell them where you are. If he said he would kill you, he will. And then an hour later he will come and apologize to your dead body and swear that he didn't mean to do it. You'll still be dead tho. I'm so sorry. I've seen it happen. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99622 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 01:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
JC User ID: 82549 United States 05/29/2006 01:03 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 01:04 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
GhostHunter User ID: 99599 Canada 05/29/2006 01:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99627 United States 05/29/2006 01:06 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 01:09 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
ac10 User ID: 99602 United States 05/29/2006 01:10 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | 99269 hi there I have a LOT of experience with passive aggressive men. they never get over it (they don't really want to). this argument sounds like a power struggle to me. p-a men are weak, but they want to be thought of as strong. they will pick a fight like he did with you so that he can 'show you who's boss.' he enjoys the drama, as it is one of the only times he feels in control. I would bet that he blames everybody else for what goes wrong in his life. I'll bet he hates his 'stupid' boss but sucks up to him anyway. I'll bet that you do not welcome your husband's touch. all I can say is, they don't change. if you are satisfied with your life, then enjoy. if you are dying inside, make plans to leave. you could ask him to get relationship counseling but he will say no. he won't be willing to get counseling until you have filed the divorce papers and he is on his knees in tears begging you to take him back. go ahead, take him back. he won't change then, either. btw, he won't hurt you, he's too chicken. if you ever need to stop him in his tracks, just mention his mother. he will go from beast to babe in a heartbeat. most women who are murdered in the US are killed by their husband or bf. I don't think this one wants to kill you...but I wouldn't be keeping any loaded guns around the house either. |
JC User ID: 82549 United States 05/29/2006 01:11 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 01:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Ok, do you think i should get a restraining order? The restraining order issues sounds like a lot of problems down the road. That means he has to move out, we'll be onfile in the police department, kid is going to be emotionally traumatized. Then what? Divorce? So messy. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99622 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 01:18 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | All GLP readers should check out John Ross's words of wisdom re marriage, relationships etc. in his "Ross in Range" blog at; [link to www.john-ross.net] |
martina User ID: 74186 United States 05/29/2006 01:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99622 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 01:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 01:26 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
ac10 User ID: 99602 United States 05/29/2006 01:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | I had a restraining order once, it was useless. it's only useful for situations where you KNOW the relationship is over, and the guy won't stop coming around or threatening you. it's a can of worms once you start getting the law involved in your home life. (however, if you truly fear for your life, call 911.) in your case, it sounds like you haven't reached the breaking up stage yet. from the outside looking in, it's easy to say you should walk away. but from within the relationship, there are a lot more issues involved. one thing you can and should do is get some counseling for yourself. the fact that you are willing to stay in a relationship where you are regularly disrespected says you have self-respect issues of your own. until that is addressed, you will not be capable of having a respectful relationship with him or another. so please take the time to find out more about yourself and what is driving you to be in an unhealthy relationship. you are not anyone's doormat, but just lashing out at him for bad treatment is not solving your woundedness that brought him into your life in the first place. at least find a book or something, but counseling would be better. your child needs counseling too. watch and see how they are acting after coming back from the store with daddy--betcha daddy is trying to influence the child's allegiance. keep an eye on that. you have a right to express yourself. however, if you have un-dealt-with issues, your expressions will come out with emotional charge on them and he will be reacting to that rather than what you have tried to express. communication is something you can take more responsibility for. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 99622 United Kingdom 05/29/2006 01:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward (OP) User ID: 99269 United States 05/29/2006 01:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | ac10 User ID: 99602 5/29/2006 1:10 PM Re: what would you do if your spouse threatened to KILL you? this argument sounds like a power struggle to me. (i agree, the way I treat him is demasculizing him) p-a men are weak, but they want to be thought of as strong. they will pick a fight like he did with you so that he can 'show you who's boss.' (he doesn't usually pick fights, however, when i ask him to stop, he doesn't.. and that infuriates me. I have a low tolerance for stress, and he conveniently 'forgets' it. He actually forgets many things that just infuriate me. I have to repeat things over and over) he enjoys the drama, as it is one of the only times he feels in control. (no, he doesn't want drama, he wants peace, and I am the one who needs drama) I would bet that he blames everybody else for what goes wrong in his life. I'll bet he hates his 'stupid' boss but sucks up to him anyway. (that sounds more like me :-)) I'll bet that you do not welcome your husband's touch. (the only times he seem to touch me is to give me hug in the morning and night, and in hallways touching my butt, or only when he wants sex. I am touch deprived really) btw, he won't hurt you, he's too chicken. if you ever need to stop him in his tracks, just mention his mother. he will go from beast to babe in a heartbeat. ( i can agree with that i think) most women who are murdered in the US are killed by their husband or bf. I don't think this one wants to kill you...but I wouldn't be keeping any loaded guns around the house either. |