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Calling all members of the broken hearts club!

 
Poppy Cock
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12/01/2013 02:00 AM
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Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
My boyfriend of two years moved 2,000 miles away at the beginning of the month. I was planning on joining him in a matter of weeks (finishing up a semester of school). We were both very excited. The time apart was difficult for me as I was so used to spending every day together, but the promise of the future kept me looking forward. A little bit ago, there seemed to be a disconnect between us and my affection was not met at the same level. He told me he wasn't sure about things and needed time to think. A few days ago, he broke up with me, told me that he is no longer in love with me, that he wants a fresh start, and that he does not want me to move in with him anymore.

I do know that his new "friends" he has only known for a few weeks told him that my moving in was a bad idea, and no doubt encouraged him in breaking up with me.

I BELIEVE THIS IS A HUGE MISTAKE, and I feel I need to do something about it. This man is the best friend I've ever had, and I'm very sure he is my soulmate. I do not want to lose him.

Now, the best advice I've received so far is to give him time and space, and if it's meant to be, it'll be. And that's what I've been following. However, I'm antsy as fuck. I feel like if I let him go and simply hope to God he comes back to me, I could lose him forever because of my seeming lack of effort.

Does anyone else have any ideas on what I could do to get him back? Or do you think I should keep on doing what I'm doing now and just give it time?

(Thank you. Much love. xxoxx)

Last Edited by Poppy Cock on 12/01/2013 03:43 AM
BxMac

User ID: 18472095
United States
12/01/2013 02:04 AM

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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
"Does anyone else have any ideas on what I could do to get him back?"

Well, Poppy, the only way you'll get your last name back is to make a sex tape and mail it to that wishy-washy guy of yours.
Poppy Cock (OP)

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12/01/2013 02:15 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
"Does anyone else have any ideas on what I could do to get him back?"

Well, Poppy, the only way you'll get your last name back is to make a sex tape and mail it to that wishy-washy guy of yours.
 Quoting: BxMac


very funny.

PEOPLE, I KNOW THERE ARE INTELLIGENT AND EXPERIENCED ONES AMONG YOU! PLEASE COME FORTH!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50271813
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12/01/2013 02:16 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
not funny at all
Dr. AculaModerator
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12/01/2013 02:23 AM

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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
get back at him by going on with your life...

finish your schooling... get a good job...

and when you are ready...

find another mate...

and in years time... he will look back and regret... and it will haunt him...

let it haunt him... fuck him.

you dont break up with someone of 2 years in that manner...

learn from the relationship you had with him and let it be some sort of lesson on how to improve your life and future relationships...

what lesson and what you learned... is to be determined by you.

i am sorry you are going through this pain...

but there are many more out there... choose wisely

hf
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
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12/01/2013 02:27 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
get back at him by going on with your life...

finish your schooling... get a good job...

and when you are ready...

find another mate...

and in years time... he will look back and regret... and it will haunt him...

let it haunt him... fuck him.

you dont break up with someone of 2 years in that manner...

learn from the relationship you had with him and let it be some sort of lesson on how to improve your life and future relationships...

what lesson and what you learned... is to be determined by you.

i am sorry you are going through this pain...

but there are many more out there... choose wisely

hf
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


I am choosing to learn from this experience and this relationship thus far; however, I am not ready to give up on this. I am looking for ideas regarding how to keep the relationship intact if anyone has any...
Anonymous Coward
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12/01/2013 02:31 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
Dr. AculaModerator
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12/01/2013 02:35 AM

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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I am choosing to learn from this experience and this relationship thus far; however, I am not ready to give up on this. I am looking for ideas regarding how to keep the relationship intact if anyone has any...
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


that ship is sinking...

you have too much invested to see that...

but trust me... from over here... I can clearly see... she's taking on water and it wont remain afloat much longer...
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 03:03 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I am choosing to learn from this experience and this relationship thus far; however, I am not ready to give up on this. I am looking for ideas regarding how to keep the relationship intact if anyone has any...
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


that ship is sinking...

you have too much invested to see that...

but trust me... from over here... I can clearly see... she's taking on water and it wont remain afloat much longer...
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


you don't think there's any chance he will realize this is a mistake and take me back?
Poppy Cock (OP)

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12/01/2013 03:31 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
any advice/ideas/help/direction would be appreciated for a friend in need. thank you
Dr. AculaModerator
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12/01/2013 03:50 AM

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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I am choosing to learn from this experience and this relationship thus far; however, I am not ready to give up on this. I am looking for ideas regarding how to keep the relationship intact if anyone has any...
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


that ship is sinking...

you have too much invested to see that...

but trust me... from over here... I can clearly see... she's taking on water and it wont remain afloat much longer...
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


you don't think there's any chance he will realize this is a mistake and take me back?
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


Even if he did...

why would you want him?

why sell yourself short to a loser who at the blink of an eye do the same thing...

put yourself in the future with kids and a mortgage and responsibilities...

and your partner could jump ship at any time...

don't do yourself that way... you deserve better
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50756441
Australia
12/01/2013 03:54 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
He does not love you to the degree you love him, unfortunately.
And you can do nothing.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
12/01/2013 03:55 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
A little bit ago, there seemed to be a disconnect between us and my affection was not met at the same level.
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


It was over then.
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 03:59 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I am choosing to learn from this experience and this relationship thus far; however, I am not ready to give up on this. I am looking for ideas regarding how to keep the relationship intact if anyone has any...
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


that ship is sinking...

you have too much invested to see that...

but trust me... from over here... I can clearly see... she's taking on water and it wont remain afloat much longer...
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


you don't think there's any chance he will realize this is a mistake and take me back?
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


Even if he did...

why would you want him?

why sell yourself short to a loser who at the blink of an eye do the same thing...

put yourself in the future with kids and a mortgage and responsibilities...

and your partner could jump ship at any time...

don't do yourself that way... you deserve better
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


I guess I am very willing to give second chances to good people, and I know this person has a beautiful soul.

You do bring up legitimate points, and I thank you for that. I'm sorry I'm being so dismissive of you. I have thought of these things, and they are very real and scary things. However, I really get this feeling that this situation I'm in is the result of misunderstandings and I have a strong gut feeling that this is all a mistake, only I don't know what to do about it.
Anonymous Coward
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12/01/2013 04:03 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
and I know this person has a beautiful soul.

 Quoting: Poppy Cock


You don't know that at all, the whole time they could have been acting, it might not be how they really are at all.
People use people for different reasons.
It has nothing to do with his friends, you would not take advice like that from friends you had only known a few weeks.
For all you know he could already have another GF, could have planned this long before and been talking to her for ages before he planned to move to be with her.
He has moved away to get away from you and start again he never had any intention of you moving there.
Please wake up and get into reality this person just used you like they are using the current people they are around.
Lots of people are like this they will leave you thinking how great they were but inside in reality they are not that great at all its all a put on.
Dr. AculaModerator
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12/01/2013 04:07 AM

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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I guess I am very willing to give second chances to good people, and I know this person has a beautiful soul.

You do bring up legitimate points, and I thank you for that. I'm sorry I'm being so dismissive of you. I have thought of these things, and they are very real and scary things. However, I really get this feeling that this situation I'm in is the result of misunderstandings and I have a strong gut feeling that this is all a mistake, only I don't know what to do about it.
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


It is YOUR life.

YOU call the shots...

i don't mind your 'being dismissive' with me...

you are the architect of your own path... Not me or anyone...

But... I agree with this poster quoted below:

You don't know that at all, the whole time they could have been acting, it might not be how they really are at all.
People use people for different reasons.
It has nothing to do with his friends, you would not take advice like that from friends you had only known a few weeks.
For all you know he could already have another GF, could have planned this long before and been talking to her for ages before he planned to move to be with her.
He has moved away to get away from you and start again he never had any intention of you moving there.
Please wake up and get into reality this person just used you like they are using the current people they are around.
Lots of people are like this they will leave you thinking how great they were but inside in reality they are not that great at all its all a put on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441



The ex is a faggot

he dont deserve you.
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
12/01/2013 04:09 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
However, I really get this feeling that this situation I'm in is the result of misunderstandings and I have a strong gut feeling that this is all a mistake, only I don't know what to do about it.
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


That is called Denial, and you can do nothing about it at all but get on with your life.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50848954
Belgium
12/01/2013 04:11 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner. I'm saying this, because I know how women are... And I also know what most most men don't like.

You will have to sound intelligent and honest.

Be prepared like a pro.

DO NOT CRY - EVER - EVEN IF THE OUTCOME IS THE WORST POSSIBLE.


Trust me. I know what you're feeling. I used to fly from Belgium to Indonesia for the love of my life. 2,000 miles is just a short flight.


Good luck!
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 04:16 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I guess I am very willing to give second chances to good people, and I know this person has a beautiful soul.

You do bring up legitimate points, and I thank you for that. I'm sorry I'm being so dismissive of you. I have thought of these things, and they are very real and scary things. However, I really get this feeling that this situation I'm in is the result of misunderstandings and I have a strong gut feeling that this is all a mistake, only I don't know what to do about it.
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


It is YOUR life.

YOU call the shots...

i don't mind your 'being dismissive' with me...

you are the architect of your own path... Not me or anyone...

But... I agree with this poster quoted below:

You don't know that at all, the whole time they could have been acting, it might not be how they really are at all.
People use people for different reasons.
It has nothing to do with his friends, you would not take advice like that from friends you had only known a few weeks.
For all you know he could already have another GF, could have planned this long before and been talking to her for ages before he planned to move to be with her.
He has moved away to get away from you and start again he never had any intention of you moving there.
Please wake up and get into reality this person just used you like they are using the current people they are around.
Lots of people are like this they will leave you thinking how great they were but inside in reality they are not that great at all its all a put on.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441



The ex is a faggot

he dont deserve you.
 Quoting: Dr. Acula


So would I be wrong to take him back, in your opinion?

Obviously there is more to the situation than I could ever want to type out in a thread post, but there was a lot of complicated emotions for my boyfriend regarding this move, and I feel the duty, as someone who truly loves and cares for him deeply, to be still be there strong for him if he finds everything doesn't work out like he thought it would (with the move, and with leaving me). Would you consider this wrong or respectable?
Anonymous Coward
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Australia
12/01/2013 04:17 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Dude he broke up with her, told her not to come, in some places that could be considered stalking.
Definitely do not go there and waste your time on such a loser he will probably give you one last fuck then take out a restraining order on you.
Get on with your life he does not deserve you and your life will be better than his.
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 04:17 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner. I'm saying this, because I know how women are... And I also know what most most men don't like.

You will have to sound intelligent and honest.

Be prepared like a pro.

DO NOT CRY - EVER - EVEN IF THE OUTCOME IS THE WORST POSSIBLE.


Trust me. I know what you're feeling. I used to fly from Belgium to Indonesia for the love of my life. 2,000 miles is just a short flight.


Good luck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


I already asked him if I could come there and we could try to talk about it. He said he would not be happy if I did this.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50756441
Australia
12/01/2013 04:21 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
I feel the duty, as someone who truly loves and cares for him deeply, to be still be there strong for him if he finds everything doesn't work out like he thought it would (with the move, and with leaving me). Would you consider this wrong or respectable?
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


putin Oh Shitahhh
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50848954
Belgium
12/01/2013 04:22 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Dude he broke up with her, told her not to come, in some places that could be considered stalking.
Definitely do not go there and waste your time on such a loser he will probably give you one last fuck then take out a restraining order on you.
Get on with your life he does not deserve you and your life will be better than his.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441


It's not stalking when you do it once in a calm and serene and intelligent manner.

Sometimes in life you have to take risks, when it's worth the risk, even if the odds aren't in your favor.
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 04:23 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Dude he broke up with her, told her not to come, in some places that could be considered stalking.
Definitely do not go there and waste your time on such a loser he will probably give you one last fuck then take out a restraining order on you.
Get on with your life he does not deserve you and your life will be better than his.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441


It's not stalking when you do it once in a calm and serene and intelligent manner.

Sometimes in life you have to take risks, when it's worth the risk, even if the odds aren't in your favor.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Would it be stalk-y since he specifically asked me not to do this? I mean, would he have grounds for police action?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50756441
Australia
12/01/2013 04:24 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Dude he broke up with her, told her not to come, in some places that could be considered stalking.
Definitely do not go there and waste your time on such a loser he will probably give you one last fuck then take out a restraining order on you.
Get on with your life he does not deserve you and your life will be better than his.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441


It's not stalking when you do it once in a calm and serene and intelligent manner.

Sometimes in life you have to take risks, when it's worth the risk, even if the odds aren't in your favor.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Would it be stalk-y since he specifically asked me not to do this? I mean, would he have grounds for police action?
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


putinsiren2gotbop
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50756441
Australia
12/01/2013 04:25 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Dude he broke up with her, told her not to come, in some places that could be considered stalking.
Definitely do not go there and waste your time on such a loser he will probably give you one last fuck then take out a restraining order on you.
Get on with your life he does not deserve you and your life will be better than his.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441


It's not stalking when you do it once in a calm and serene and intelligent manner.

Sometimes in life you have to take risks, when it's worth the risk, even if the odds aren't in your favor.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Not when someone told you A.You are not together anymore B.Do not come here
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 04:27 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
...


Dude he broke up with her, told her not to come, in some places that could be considered stalking.
Definitely do not go there and waste your time on such a loser he will probably give you one last fuck then take out a restraining order on you.
Get on with your life he does not deserve you and your life will be better than his.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441


It's not stalking when you do it once in a calm and serene and intelligent manner.

Sometimes in life you have to take risks, when it's worth the risk, even if the odds aren't in your favor.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


Would it be stalk-y since he specifically asked me not to do this? I mean, would he have grounds for police action?
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


putinsiren2gotbop
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50756441


you can leave man if you're just going to mock me. I understand it's pathetic of me to be asking for advice on this goddamn internet forum, but unfortunately I don't have any motherfucking friends in the physical world that I can scurry over to and get advice from.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 50848954
Belgium
12/01/2013 04:29 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner. I'm saying this, because I know how women are... And I also know what most most men don't like.

You will have to sound intelligent and honest.

Be prepared like a pro.

DO NOT CRY - EVER - EVEN IF THE OUTCOME IS THE WORST POSSIBLE.


Trust me. I know what you're feeling. I used to fly from Belgium to Indonesia for the love of my life. 2,000 miles is just a short flight.


Good luck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


I already asked him if I could come there and we could try to talk about it. He said he would not be happy if I did this.
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


Of course he's gonna answer you this over the phone. What were you expecting?

It becomes different when you're standing in front of him...
He WILL BE mad.
But then intelligence and calmness could make a difference.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 48638218
United Kingdom
12/01/2013 04:31 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 04:32 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!
It's risky, but go visit him - DO NOT ask him to move in (find a hotel) - and tell him your feelings in a CALM and SERENE manner. I'm saying this, because I know how women are... And I also know what most most men don't like.

You will have to sound intelligent and honest.

Be prepared like a pro.

DO NOT CRY - EVER - EVEN IF THE OUTCOME IS THE WORST POSSIBLE.


Trust me. I know what you're feeling. I used to fly from Belgium to Indonesia for the love of my life. 2,000 miles is just a short flight.


Good luck!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


I already asked him if I could come there and we could try to talk about it. He said he would not be happy if I did this.
 Quoting: Poppy Cock


Of course he's gonna answer you this over the phone. What were you expecting?

It becomes different when you're standing in front of him...
He WILL BE mad.
But then intelligence and calmness could make a difference.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 50848954


yeah, I'm still considering it. it's really risky though, it could go one way and we could make up, and it could go another way and completely destroy all chances of us getting back together or even being friends. risky risky
Poppy Cock (OP)

User ID: 50746496
United States
12/01/2013 04:34 AM
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Re: Calling all members of the broken hearts club!

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 48638218


Gee, thanks. I only needed yet another reason to be crying.

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