Today, while rushing through my route to get home because of Christmas (that I'm still not feeling the Spirit - but man, Thanks to Amanzon.com - I spent $220 and got great gifts, they gift wrapped them, and got them to me Monday - plus, they accidently sent out an extra package. So I got 2 free gifts (A TB Buccanners "Couch Blanekt" and a TB Buccanners License Plate Frame.) So I got two. Rock on. Everyman needs a good pair of PJs/loungewear - spent $40 on this awesome Nautica 100% cotton loungewear.... so comfy. So fucking comfy.


Anyways,

MONEY.

I try to live "off the grid" as much as possible. Use a PO box as my mailing address for all things "legal" that my step-father put in his name when registering -

So I'm off the grid as much as possible. If someone tried to "serve me" -- heh. They'd never find me.

Point is.

MONEY.

I don't have a bank account. Screw Banks. My bank account is the Indian Convenience Store a few miles away that cashes my checks early (they love it because it gives them room for money laundering) and they give me discounts on stuff in the store for being a "great customer" (imagine Indian accent) "Your a greatttt custumer! No need for .85 cent, we good, you good, we like you."

Yet, in my wallet I arrange the bills, all facing same way from largest to smallest.

The new $100's look like monopoly money.

Yet, I must count four times a day. (I HATE CHANGE. I do everything in my power to keep .75 cents on me at all time, so I always do the if it's $5.32 I bust out a $10 and then .32 cents so I get a $5 back)

Anyhow,

Money.

Just - Paypal - checking it. I need new boxers. Buy off Amazon. I need new Socks. Walmart (Or Amazon) - just anything and everything MONEY is in my mind.


The worst feeling - I mean this is worst than withdrawing from opiates or Xanax for my fellow addicts out there -

IS HAVING NO MONEY.

Even if you're a druggie and have your "stash" and a Carton of smokes and a fridge full of food.

That feeling of NO MONEY.... it's....

Maybe we're programmed that way?


After all the TIPS FROM MY CLIENTS for Christmas, I made around $905 past week.

I'm very happy.

Yet...

I don't want money to control my life anymore.

I want to control money.



Is that possible? Or will I always be a wage slave?