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Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 55015216
Belgium
03/03/2014 09:48 AM
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Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 44779979
United States
03/03/2014 09:50 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Words fail me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 55103613
India
03/03/2014 09:52 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55015216


ha ha ha ha ha ha
is it applicable to men too?
Anonymous Coward
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03/03/2014 09:56 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
"If I had an Uncle" ohappy
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 55015216
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03/03/2014 09:59 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55015216


ha ha ha ha ha ha
is it applicable to men too?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55103613


The initial article I read (in Dutch) specifically stated that men were not banned from wearing underwear.
Watching the world
Crypt Watcher

User ID: 54883202
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03/03/2014 10:13 AM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Fucked up.

construction
Ignorance is bliss until reality bites you in the ass.

I bury the dead.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
03/03/2014 10:14 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
the pastor must like the smell of fish

hidb
filth
Smash The State

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03/03/2014 10:24 AM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
rome2000
When the government’s boot is on your throat, whether it is a left boot or a right boot is of no consequence. – Gary Lloyd

Libertarian - One who advocates maximizing individual rights and minimizing the role of the state; one who believes in free will.

mlabe AnarchoC2
Anonymous Coward
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03/03/2014 10:31 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55015216


next thing you know he’s possessed by Jesus

africansideways
Anonymous Coward
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United States
03/03/2014 10:33 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
the pastor must like the smell of fish

hidb
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20812629


chuckle
Janine
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03/03/2014 10:40 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55015216


Are these 'dire consequences' doled out by him? Or 'Christ'?
Does he feel the female congregants up to check for panties?
If underwear blocks 'Christ' from getting inside you...wouldn't all clothing need removal?
Someone needs to remove this scumbag.
Elusive Pisces
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03/03/2014 10:48 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
The Mormons wear holy underwear to be close to GOD.
What the hell does wearing or not wearing underwear have to do with our relationship with GOD? Religion sure is a mind fucker.
Anonymous Coward
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Greece
03/03/2014 10:52 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
That pastor will have a constant hard-on...
Anonymous Coward
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03/03/2014 10:55 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55015216


next thing you know he’s possessed by Jesus

africansideways
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47342726


gotta give the guy credit. he has a plan. probably a bunch of 1's and 2's anyway but if he has set the bar low he could be one busy fellow. wonder if it starts with an "inspection" to insure compliance?
Troggie
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New Zealand
03/03/2014 10:55 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
No panties = horny pastor
Anonymous Coward
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03/03/2014 10:56 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
the pastor must like the smell of fish

hidb
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20812629


Unwashed 10 day old fish. yak
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
03/03/2014 11:12 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Words fail me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44779979


obongo's grand daddy?
Anonymous Coward
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United States
03/03/2014 11:26 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
wtfdid
Azadok61

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03/03/2014 11:31 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
The Mormons wear holy underwear to be close to GOD.
What the hell does wearing or not wearing underwear have to do with our relationship with GOD? Religion sure is a mind fucker.
 Quoting: Elusive Pisces 11156436


This is true and this is where we get the term ....holy shit from , when founder of the Mormons, Joeseph Smith had the mud farts while wearing his holy underwear.

I believe the story goes Joeseph Smith was reading from the secret golden tablets that no one but he could see , dressed in his holy underwear Joeseph let a loose one go and the congregation remarked Holy Shit when seeing the results of the mud skipper Joe let go . True story in the annals of Mormonism , the account is kept with the secret golden tablets revealed to Joeseph Smith only .
Anonymous Coward
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03/03/2014 11:31 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Sounds like Jim Jones.
Don't drink his Kool Aid!
BxMac

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03/03/2014 11:37 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Ah, the bosom of religion.

Eve can't get a break.

And Aminah ain't doing too well herself.

Last Edited by BxMac on 03/03/2014 11:37 AM
Kirk

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United States
03/03/2014 11:45 AM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
The Mormons wear holy underwear to be close to GOD.
What the hell does wearing or not wearing underwear have to do with our relationship with GOD? Religion sure is a mind fucker.
 Quoting: Elusive Pisces 11156436


ohyeah
Worry is a misuse of the imagination.
Bear Drinker
go fer a rip?

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03/03/2014 11:50 AM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
shoe cam
I have the honor of creating a GLP meme so now I am waiting for my endorsement deal from Coors Light Bear

Thread: What's your favorite bear?

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Manu-K

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03/03/2014 11:55 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Nairobi pastor Reverend Njohi has introduced a form of worship at his Lord’s Propeller Redemption Church in which female members of the congregation are banned from wearing underwear so God can enter their bodies easily.

After a recent meeting of the church’s elders, to debate the matter Reverend Njohi passed an edict banning the wearing bras and panties when attending service.

Defending the law, Reverend Njohi claims that when going to church, people need to be free in body and spirit to receive Christ.

Describing the wearing of underwear to church by women as ungodly, Reverend Njohi warned his members of dire consequences if they secretly did so.


[link to www.citifmonline.com]
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 55015216


next thing you know he’s possessed by Jesus

africansideways
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 47342726


cruise
"White privilege" is the liberal religion's version of Original Sin: you are born guilty, and you carry that burden of guilt all your life, and the only way to escape eternal damnation is for white people confess their sin, to bow, kneel and believe the dogma of the Church of Liberalism, genuflect at its altars, honor its saints, fill the collection plate, and never, ever doubt.

-- Dixon Diaz
Anonymous Coward
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03/03/2014 11:59 AM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Wearing the undies and eating da poopoo. ALL WORTHY OF HELL FIRE!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 34679961
United States
03/03/2014 12:03 PM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
The Mormons wear holy underwear to be close to GOD.
What the hell does wearing or not wearing underwear have to do with our relationship with GOD? Religion sure is a mind fucker.
 Quoting: Elusive Pisces 11156436


All religions seem to have weird sex rules. I get it. Sex is awesome. But fucking A. Like marriage... You just have to legally own a person don't you? Just having a good relationships not enough. People trying to dominate people. Good Christ. Live within yourself and butt the fuck out of everyone else's beeswax.

Whoa. What was I talking about again?
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

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03/03/2014 12:46 PM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Words fail me.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44779979


Obama is from Kenya.

80 IQ is the average
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892
Lemon

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03/03/2014 12:49 PM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter.

The pastor, who will also not be wearing any underwear, has renamed his penis "Christ".

"Christ will enter her, and her, and her twice" he was overheard saying.

Other headlines

- Church attendance at record high.
- Undergarment Store declares Bankruptcy.
- Obama national visit - Sunday at 9:45
**I'm all out of bubblegum
Anonymous Coward
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Kenya
03/03/2014 12:49 PM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
the pastor must like the smell of fish

hidb
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20812629


chuckle
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 44779979


1rof1
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 25327582
Canada
03/03/2014 12:50 PM
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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Go commando for Christ!
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 381742
United States
03/03/2014 12:51 PM

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Re: Kenyan pastor orders female congregants to come to church without underwear for Christ to enter
Go commando for Christ!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 25327582


There's your million dollar bumper sticker!
With freedom comes responsibility.

Heterosexual pride!

Briefcut4892

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