Wife threatens to divorce all the time

Hi OP ~ Awh sorry to see you're having problems, but what marriage doesn't?! However, I think what you may be contending with is a lady that feels a constant sense of abandonment due to her earlier years you detailed.

This issue she has of wanting to run away from things, when she feels they are getting out of her control... It is a sort of natural mechanize that can kick in and cause havoc in these situations!

Really and truly, it is your wife that needs to work on herself, with love from you :) She will never be happy, as the loss she suffered as a child cannot be fixed unless addressed. We all want someone to love us unconditionally, no matter what we do... She is probably constantly 'testing' your love for her, by threatening to leave you, to see if you will chase her/fight for her... UNLESS she really doesn't want to be with you of course. But I think if that were true, she would probably have told you.

I think what you should do is ask your wife, if she still loves you and wants your marriage to work. I am sure she is in turmoil but should know her feelings on this. If she does, then you need to focus on her being able to realize that her actions will cause what she fears most, and that is losing you! :) Mention this to her, and see if she can relate to what I've said.

Don't give up, as nothing worthwhile is easy... x

Look up Borderline Personality Disorder.

Go on vacation or have hotel food with your wife.

She should not keep repeating that threat if she doesn't want it because we eventually will get what we keep saying, whether we mean it or not. If you come to a point that you will split, get a good divorce lawyer and demand at least joint custody. Make it clear to her though she can't keep threatening you with divorce if she wants to stay. No one should have to live under that constant threat.

She has borderline personality disorder (not bipolar disorder!). The more you love a borderline the more they hate you; when they do leave you and you don't give a fuck, they accuse you of not loving or caring for them, then do everything in their power to get back at you. They are truly fucked up and leave a trail of destruction where ever they go.

I know you have a kid, OP, but you cannot put yourself through that shit. The fucking bitch doesn't give a rats about you and, sorry to say it, she will probably leave you for an abusive scumbag, that's if she hasn't already been screwing around with one.

The longer you stay in this "marriage" the more the bitch will erode your self esteem to the point where you feel totally trapped and totally worthless. When she's managed to break you to pieces that's when she will put the final nail in your coffin by having an affair and then leaving you.

This is how BPD's roll, man.

We all have a disorder, go to any psychiatrist and they will tell you so, bottom line is do you want to stay with her?, does she want to stay with you? If the answer is yes, that is not going to make it work, work is what might make it work, it is not easy, here it's like every ten minutes! lol, which is extreme but it is because we both, everyone has their own issues, IMO
You both might want it to work, try your hardest, but still might lose the marriage, it happens even after 50 years, the next, and the next can all go the same way, sad but it is true.
I have known people who claim never to argue and divorce saying they are bored with eachother, grew in totally different directions, wish eachother luck and go their separate ways.
I choose to keep working at it, if he doesn't, well that is his choice, what I do if he leaves then becomes my choice. When you live together as one, you are still separate, but supposed to be partners, there to pick eachother up, yes support, comfort, understand, and learn from one another, most of all try to remember to love and respect eachother, this can be very hard because there is that tug and pull, this is my way, my belief, my way is better for me, so it is better for you, or the other saying, I am me, I don't like your way, then the other not being able or choosing not to cope with the other person's way, it goes on and on, very hard for both to say and really mean I accept you 100 percent for the way you are at all times.
I guess what I am trying to say is in the end you have to decide what you want for your life, maybe you are willing to make yourself change all the way to fit all her wants and needs if she is totally not going to change, maybe if she knows you will just let it end she will change, maybe not, or maybe you both will compromise again and again and find glimpses of happiness, sadness, comfort, and love with another till death do you part:), Best to you both friend.

I notice the females have given compassionate, positive, caring advice, the blokes have done otherwise on this thread! Lol

Bitch, take your crap advice and shove it straight up your ass.

You show me how!

You need to start hitting the gym and get back into the game so when She threatens You send Her packing. If You send Her packing She might realize She messed up or She just might leave for good. You have a child which doesn't deserve parents that fight all the time.

people from broken/divorced homes do not see marriage vows as sacred,they are more superficial

PS, sorry, just had to add this in all seriousness, everyone's past molds us, but the past is even yesterday, not just while we were children, but harder for us to make a horrid experience something to grow from as a child because we have no way out of it even if we know the choice we would make, laws won't allow us to walk away, work, get our own life, so yes as we live as a child starts the molding.
My husband says his home was perfect in many ways, no drama, Leave it to Beaver type of life, I don't believe it, lol, but okay if he wants to think it, if that is how he deals with it, okay:)
Um sorry losing my point which is now going to be like serving you rhubarb with chocolate pudding.
I wanted to write instead of looking at the past, just married her out of pure love etc., why not look at the present and the days leading up to this time, is she crying, saying, pleading, hinting that she needs you to try to change something about you that she did not know about, maybe less of something, maybe more of something? I am not saying you should compromise , just thinking we all change, well usually as time goes on we do, sometimes we do stay in the past to much too.
Example first ten years reliving my past as a child made my husband change from a partner to a father figure, after seeking help and moving on from many issues he felt I was getting to independent but since he adapted the role of Dad and was now losing that position he turned to the decision maker, for both of us, and I admit I allowed because I still did not have the confidence in myself to trust or believe in me, especially because of the many bad choices I made in my life. Ok 27 yrs from the day we met now, he cannot let go of the past, still wants to have the final say for everything I do, is this really for my own good? lol, we know it isn't, I know what I want for my final years, not a Dad, not a boss, not a sugar daddy, just a friend, partner sharing our everything together, but yes I get upset I have to remind, ask him to do this or don't do this please because it is so aggravating, and he does the same to me:(,
End line is I never thought we would stay together many times, in fact we did split once, he threw me out, very painful, might have ended up painful for him to if I did not care about it enough to come back and ask him to give us another try, who knows? Just try to remember, you have you bad and good as well, it might be someone's fault, maybe not, if you look at things in those terms.... I just think it's life, you want to be together or not, saying divorce to me means Mister, I am sick of your stuff, work with me!

She sounds like she has low self esteem and tries to test you to see how far she can push you away and if you'll be with her no matter what. She's obviously never grown out of the abuse and is trying to see if you'll dish it out. Dont. Dont leave her. instead go to marriage counseling. She obviously needs counseling alone and every marriage needs counseling too. I don't know how to talk someone into seeking counseling alone so I think the first step may be taking her to counseling or going to counseling alone so you can show her there isn't a stigma attached to it so later you can get her to go alone. Good luck.

She'll be doing you a favour. Let her go...

Call her on her threat, it is probably an empty threat and she may not want a divorce just attention. Calling her on it might make her seriously think about it and quit with the threats, they are hurtful

You could also communicate this to her and get to the bottom of the problem. Marriage builders dot com can help, they have lots of material on their site (for free). You both can learn to meet each others needs.

she is def related to my wife.. ANYTIME we had a disagreement she would pack her stuff and head many miles away. several times i have paid BIG BUX to get her stuff sent back and her.. only to have her take off again.

shes been gone 4 yrs now and will not be back.

last time she came back it was to run away from BF who OD,d on H.. she hates drugs and didnt know he was a closet horse rider.

she says marryed folks do not argue EVER.

never violent just a simple arguement etc.

women have to much power in the courts and they know it



This is why she wants a divorce...she gets the house,she gets custody of the kids and a nice juicy cheque every month

meanwhile the man gets crapped all over..this is why she wants a divorse..do you think the bitch has not though over these things ???


bet your life on it!

Oo, shotgun wedding problems.

:poppycorn:

How big is the trailer you live in?

To quote a line from the movie "The Breakup,"

"Go find a chick even hotter than [your woman] and bang the shit outta her."

WTF is this now a Cuntspiricy forum?

I had a mother like that...well excepr that she always threaten to kill herself....it worked on my dad, but not on me....I gave her a pistol with one round and told her to do it or shut up....she never tried it again

my ex was the same....I tried for 27 years...but in the end, it was just not worth it....she did leave with 60k debt that I had to take care of though

What is she to gain by her threat?

What do you gain either way?

More info- please!

As soon as a woman, threatens a male, with anything - the Chick is Toast!

Women don't get that ... it is just confrontational ... from then on.

Divorce and get joint custody of your daughter. You AND your daughter do not deserve the aggravation. A child should not grow up in that environment. You both deserve better. First make sure your wife goes to a psychologist/psychiatrist. Find a good one at a university hospital if you can. See if things get better.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 05/03/2014 08:30 AM

^^^This^^^

My crazy wife use to say the same shit & the above post is spot on. She will only get worse and if she thinks you are cheating....she will try and destroy you. Keep your head up OP and remember there are other people dealing with Lucifer's other sisters & we have to stay strong together!

Do you have kids?

If not, call her bluff. Not worth the hassle.

If you do, stick it out.

Call the bluff, do it, your free either way.

I'd go with the divorce just for her saying that.
But, some can put up with more shit.

Sounds like PTSD. She is in flight mode.
I don't think she ever can change.
I would suggest you fight for sole custody.
Why assume the child will stay with her when she exhibits mental illness.
Get yourself prepared to be a single dad.

Tell the bitch to grow the f-up!!! She has a kid, she now has responsibilities.....