My wife of 29yrs just hit me today at dinner time that she wants a divorce!! I'm very sad

If you could treat her bi-polar, that might fix the relationship.
Just a suggestion, check this and read the reviews as well

[link to amazon.com]

I hope so too man.

So sorry for your grief OP, but if you were doing ok those 6 months without her, just remember that you will be just fine without her again. Try to be friends for your kids' sake. No reason to make a war. Man up and don't let sadness overwhelm the happiness life can still bring to you. Focus on your own life and on your children and on helping their mother move on. You both are probably too accustomed to chaos and forgotten what normal feels like. Opt for a future of peace. Choosing serenity and peace of mind is a new choice that only you can make, everyday of your life. Good luck my dear.

Chin up, stay positive bro

That's a dumb thing to say, somebody that's married that long doesn't have that at the top of their priority list. Companionship and a loving partner that really cares is #1. Sex is a physical act to us to express that love at our age. It's different then horny young on's do. LOL

Thanks for letting me vent I'm gonna go meditate or something!!!
Thanks
Guitarguy55

This thread just tugged at my heart. I am so sorry OP. It sounds like you are a very decent man. There is nothing anyone can say to take away the pain, but if she has problems with depression, it seems as if she would not be happy no matter who she was married to, so don't take it as a personal failing.

I hope you can cherish the good memories that you shared in those 29 years, and not dwell upon the bad times.

I think the advice that you were given to move on quickly and try to craft some sort of fulfilling life without her is good advice. But you are allowed to wallow for a while in the beginning. I am so sorry. The pain of heartache and loss can be excruciating.

Take care Guitar55, I will say a pray for you tonight. :)

I told her that on the phone that there is no reason to sit and point fingers at or scream at each other at least for the kids sake

Thanks Kate!!!

Oh well, sorry to hear that. Con chó quái!

Good for you! You can never be sorry when you take the high road. It's also a great tactical advantage. :)

If she was an emotional/mental mess like you said then you are most likely better off without her. You will get your energy back now and will feel better physically. You just might want to get counseling for yourself to heal and to never attract another woman that has such issues into your life again. Congrats on a new beginning. It will get better.

I'll say a prayer for you. Good luck to you.

Just thinking about your saying you were gone
for 6 months.
You know many bi-polar and boarderline disorders
have at their foundation a phobia about being
abandoned.
Abandonment for these folks can be really
devastating--even if there were a verbal agreement
that you were only leaving to go to work with
your son. You left. All the emotional storms that
a bi-polar would have from your being gone would
have crashed in on her. Someone who has never been
through this can't know the crushing fear of
having these emotions triggered. Not saying that
it was even deliberate on your part--just describing
what I know of that kind of reaction (Sister was
bi-polar and borderline Disorder...if her "issues"
were triggered there was no reasoning with her...
it comes from the instinct part of the brain where
the person feels threat. One book called:
"I HATE you...don't leave me!" really tells their
story.
Anyways...you have had a long long history with this
and maybe the Good Lord is giving you both a chance
to heal now.
I had a great deal of comfort from the books from
Eckhart Tolle (one is called "The Power of Now")
when I went through my own divorce of 17 years.
There should be different words in the English
language for loving and losing a partner in these
situations. It can be truly crushing. Tolle
has videos where he addresses things like this and
It was a gift to me to find his philosophy (NOT
religion or occult--just plain talk.)
Best wishes with you recovery. There really is a
life after this--it just doesn't feel that way right
now.

[link to www.youtube.com]

Also a site that has 151 of Tolle's videos....I'm
still watching!
[link to www.youtube.com]


My heart is with you.

SK

Last Edited by SilentlyKnowing on 05/26/2014 12:27 AM

Can I vent too? I got divorced twice. Burned bad each time. I loved them, sacrificed myself to the relationship, gave everything, and they burned me because they were selfish and took everything I gave.

Got burned on the girlfriend of the last five years too. She took and took and took. I finally left because I could not give any more.

Women be crazy dude. That's life. You play the game and you get burned. Sorry for your loss, dude, but get over it. We all lose, just in different ways. That's how it is. Time for a beer.

So sorry, OPie!!!!

Wishing the highest and best for all involved.

<3

My grandparents where married for over 50 years you had to do something wrong. Heavy drinker?

hang in there GG. you WILL heal just give it enough time. don't get desperate. if she is bipolar it will be a GREAT relief once it sinks in that you are free....... and she made the decision.

U didn't lose anything yet, man up.
Decide if u really want this to work. If u do go get her like your teens and you just met each other. Surround her in flower's go all out like nothing else matters but her fuck the bills just her u decide

Really sorry hun. I am sure you are feeling a sense of loss among a million other emotions. If you ever need someone to talk to HMU

Brother the VERY BEST to deal with this RIGHT NOW is for you to make a phone call and have a 60 min of talk with a Psycotherapy and express your issues first do it by email they will understand. I am not sure if you can both go at the same time but It's you now that needs to have a strong head.
And I can see it's going to affect you If you don't have a talk with a proffesional, trust me bro.

The weirdest things happen sometimes OP that makes change so keep yourself open to anything without doubt.

Done. Remember, those that Pray together, stay together.

Do the festivities involve friends and family? Then show up and call her out on all her bullshit in front of everyone.

You both have my prayers.....it is a sad time.
I have heard so many sad break up stories about long term loves.
It seems a shame to invest that much time and call it quits because it is no longer all fun and games.

My wife whom I have nursed through the last 8 years of health hell has twice in the last year nearly called it quits
I have no idea why really?!?
Most men would have taken off after she became ill and was unable to have any sex for over 2 years.
I do not regret what I have done for a moment, it is just that the present day state of marriages and relationships make me sad and hopeless for our kids future

Never easy especially after all that time...best of luck to you...as always...every cloud...you know the rest...Try and look what you have to be thankful for and try to find some purpose and some good...Blessings

I totally know how you feel. Only in my situation im the one who is leaving. My husband is bi polar and has become abusive . I have no choice but to walk away becuz he wont try either.
Anyway... I feel your pain. Sorry for your loss but its got to get better than this.

Maybe your health will improve now that your marriage is out of your hands.

Our health has a lot to do with our emotional well being. Sounds like your marriage took a toll on you.

Better days are ahead.

some people may seem bi polar depressive..but its just that they are with a person who is wrong for them,a person who brings out the worst,instead of the best....