Im attractive, but introvert and really shy.

This is going to not solve the problems short term, its more long term.

Whole family of introverts, myself, my sons, except for one who is more outgoing.

I tried to overcome all this but better at writing than talking in my 20's.

But by late 20's and 30's really starting valuing my opinions and noting the behavior of others and the abuse and manipulations of "outies" so to speak, realizing, wow if I'd had gifts like that, I'd be changing the world or at least the world around me, but alas, they're just selfish....This is a generalization for of course there are some that don't manipulate social skills to take advantage.

In any case, read a book on some brain mapping experiments done by the social scientists and it turns out that, 26% of us are born "innies" and though politicians don't like innies, and doctors usually try to make you feel as if you're dsyfunctional or ill, the reality is, the researchers view them as master planners.

There are different brain chemicals involved in outies and innies. Outies are important, they get release of seratonin and feel good chemicals in crowds and in the company of others, and they're the DOERS, they are meant to help and get involved. Really good positive social skills so if they don't abuse their verbal skills to take advantage of others, as they so often do, they're really great people. I love the good hearted ones.

But all my life have always liked the integrity, goodness of shy people, even the cranky ones have hearts of gold.

They're the master planners. Their thoughts travel through the frontal global areas and are bathed in brain chemicals that relate to; memory studies and information retrieval.

ie they connect dots and can see the forest and the trees!

As I said, politicians and PTB don't like them much.

However, they're not the life of the party. They freeze up, and experience flight or fight with the chemicals involved in crowds.

Others think they're quiet and stupid, but they've already scoped the entire crowd, read the information, read all the expressions, and are correlating this experience or talk, to a shelf load of other data, and comparisons. Then when they do finally speak, its usually very deep.

Still deep ponds do not wish to be shallow babbling brooks.

Period.

And you have to baby yourself, ie. prepare for an outing, rest, and keep solitude, meditation, nature, refill your tank so to speak, and after an outing or event, or talk or group session, go home and rest up, refill your tank.

When you start to realize you're important to and you have a different function, and value your deep thinking, you relax and talk and joke with people you trust not big crowds, and you start to emphasize your strenghts.

Your ideas, your creativity, find ways to share and nudge others without having to be in huge crowds, and one on ones, start to find others who are also deep thinkers.

For example, looking for an outie girlfriend instead of honing an unuusal talent, say in photography, or nature outings, meditation, art, science or invention, and meeting the people who come into your life naturally, who share interests and aren't shallow in how they treat you.

Because you are above the shallow.

So, if you're a magnet to girls and have to deal with all types and some of them aren't all that bright and judge you, well, you're going to have to say, I'm shy and not really good at social interactions. I like intelligent conversations, so maybe this isn't your cup of tea.

Maybe you can actually word this better however, just realized that last part was a bit of a putdown, but the general idea. Being upfront about who you are.

Really love your post about introverts, definitely agree with your descriptions, pretty sure I'm the only one in my family.

Yo OP!

I am proud to have found your "exploit journal" as you put it..? !

I am an "introvert" as well. If that means deep, or simply not distracted by the usual musings of a crowd..

Looking at your picture, i def see the persian jew in you..
the lines of your face tell me you are a lover. but not soft

Your heart illuminates your physical being with beauty.
now i say that as a "straight" man.

I do have a question for you, if you don't mind..

do you still live in Israel? And if so, do you know where Kibbutz Lotan is..?

The other thing, which isn't directly related to this thread, but I have picked up on the fact that you hold a standard for yourself where you retain your seminal fluids.

I commend you Sir. I do the same and more than 99% of the people that I come across and entrust with that info find me to be crazy.

But i have experienced the benefits of holding it within..
it affects your dreams, your thoughts, real lasting strength..FEELING

nothing really compares to how I feel when I am ultimately in control of myself in that manner..and nothing compares to how weak I feel when i release it.

Any thoughts?? not at all attempting to derail your thread..
i would love to have some actual conversation with you
all that you say resonates true with me..

Shalom Aleichem

Z

Anytime Achi!

I was there two years ago. That LAND is the most beautiful I have ever seen.
the people there are so special.

yea, the Negev def wasn't my fav place, esp when you have places like T'von, S'fot, Acco, Rasha nikra, and of course Yerushalayim!!

You are right , it is most certainly the strength of man.

you mention thoughts being 'dirty'..
not to make an excuse here, but i do believe that we are to wisely balance our animal/ higher natures..

so I don't think that those thoughts are necessarily 'bad" as long as we still remain in Self-control..

To Life,
Z

so I said "yeah... I keep Shabbat, and you are a believer so you are in an advantage position over the rest of the skanks I meet, and what I really want is a partner I could grow with together! and although I am looking for something casual, I don't know how things might develop, and I don't want eliminate things before I get to know them"

lol now she wants to meet and not as friends...

Im making progress with each day that passes, booyah!

lol

Im 1/4 Persian jew... :)

handsome Iranian.

Who the hell lied to you and told you that you were attractive OP?

Yeah, but you are posing. If you want a mate I would suggest picking someone you can be totally open and honest with. Deception fails the long haul. Looks are skin deep unless you are grooming for a nightclub act as a Johnny Depp impersonator.
Mazel Tov

I guess, now that weve been having this talk I feel bad, I am using her to satisfy my own urges... and that's a sin.

maybe I should just ask for a shidduch but Im afraid to settle down, so many fruits I haven't tasted