Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? | |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 01:59 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? My husband was like that too when we first got together. Well for some time after, really. But, eight years of marriage has helped him learn to trust again. Quoting: kwittykwitty Don't give up OP, and don't despair. Just be yourself and he will, in time, learn to trust you. Be patient. Quoting: Generation Grace From 1 Corinthians 13.. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Thanks... I won't... I can't... I'm just afraid that it will cause me to act crazy. I was taken aback the other night when I told him how I felt... because I didn't get the reaction I was expecting. I got upset and acted like a huge fool... which I apologized for the next day. The last thing I need to do is drive him away. I've never had this problem...lol I've also never been the first one to say "I love you" Life is fucked how it works.... It also pains me to know what he's gone through in the past. I thought he already realized that I'm the one to make things right... I'm the one to stand by him... I'm hurt that he doesn't see it yet. If you are a stripper as signature below your icon says, you may have a hard time getting him to actually fall in love with you. Men want to fuck strippers not love them. If I was a stripper, do you really think I would be putting that information out there on GLP? It's a fucking joke dude. :smokin1: |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 02:01 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? Bitches be crazy. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1440313 Seriously, though... Coming from someone who has been cheated on. It just takes time. He may never fully trust you either, but that is something you will have to deal with. Stick around and just continue to show him you care and that he is the only one. He will come around eventually. Thanks... that's pretty much what I figure. I tend to make a bigger deal out of things than I need to... bottom line is he's not going anywhere, and neither am I. :smokin1: |
Tangy User ID: 43994199 United States 06/25/2014 02:20 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? I have so much love to give... and when my ex dumped me (and yes he cheated too) it through me way the fuck off. Quoting: Stoned Goddess I'm a loving person... I can't help it... I need someone to love. You love him, and you feel he loves you. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe to help build his trust again, show that those 3 little words being "said" is not what your relationship is based on by not demanding them specifically. Definitely don't make it an issue, be happy and secure by his actions, and let him do the same with yours. Words are words.. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 50005588 United States 06/25/2014 02:43 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 56961622 Ireland 06/25/2014 02:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 20793638 United States 06/25/2014 02:56 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 52469365 United States 06/25/2014 03:52 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 04:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? I have so much love to give... and when my ex dumped me (and yes he cheated too) it through me way the fuck off. Quoting: Stoned Goddess I'm a loving person... I can't help it... I need someone to love. You love him, and you feel he loves you. Actions speak louder than words. Maybe to help build his trust again, show that those 3 little words being "said" is not what your relationship is based on by not demanding them specifically. Definitely don't make it an issue, be happy and secure by his actions, and let him do the same with yours. Words are words.. Thanks... his actions do speak volumes. Yet he has a genuine reason to be concerned. I'm certainly not making an issue of it though. As I said in my OP, I was taken aback when he didn't react how I expected him to... (I'm only human and not perfect...) and it's not so much because I didn't get to hear the words, it's because I can tell how he feels and I can tell he's holding back. Very strong empath here... that's why it's been incredibly difficult. It's a sure test of patience. We've talked about it a bit now and we're cool... I'm cool with how he feels and we will continue on the same path. I do want to say for the record, for those of you who think I haven't a clue what's happening... I have lots of experience in relationships. I wasn't fucking born yesterday. I've been in love and in 3 very long relationships before this. I know when someone is into me and when they aren't. I know when there are red flags... I know when I'm being used for sex. Those types of men are the easiest to weed out as far as I'm concerned. Something to keep in mind when you post your trollish comments... not that they have any effect on me anyways. Perhaps it's best to leave your mom's basement and get some experience of your own... I'm telling you that for your own good. :smokin1: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 39892112 United States 06/25/2014 04:30 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 04:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? You think you know guys but obviously wrong. He doesn't say it cause he ain't feeling it. Maybe you shouldn't have been such an easy fuck op. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39892112 He knows you've been used and abused. You don't marry the chic that wants to start as fuck buddies No... you don't quote your own post in an attempt to get your point across. :smokin1: |
Esoterica User ID: 36668746 United States 06/25/2014 05:05 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? My husband was like that too when we first got together. Well for some time after, really. But, eight years of marriage has helped him learn to trust again. Quoting: kwittykwitty Don't give up OP, and don't despair. Just be yourself and he will, in time, learn to trust you. Yeah, mine was too. Took a few years to really let go, but eventually he did, and we are happily married. Good luck! Be patient! "The more you know, the crazier you look" |
Esoterica User ID: 36668746 United States 06/25/2014 05:08 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? MOST women are going to cheat on the guy they are dating OR married to. Quoting: Anonymous Coward 52154903 Female Hypergamy IS REAL ... and any male who ignores that fact of life is going to suffer nasty consequences, Emotional AND Financial. The reality is that men SHOULD NOT trust a woman, ANY woman, even their spouse of many years, when it comes to the issue of "sexual fidelity". The woman may START out being sexually faithful but over time things can change and suddenly she starts to Crave, NO ABSOLUTELY "NEEDS", a new Alpha Dick even if the man she is with is the most wonderful caring person on the planet (who is crazy about her, good looking, and a good provider). Women subconsciously try to MATE with the BEST ALPHA they can attract, even if they know he won't stick around, and later MATE with ANOTHER ALPHA because subconsciously they want genetic diversity in their offspring. At the same time the woman wants to find a PROVIDER who can provide for her and her offspring ... but that isn't necessarily the guy she subconsciously wants to father her children. Those TWO dynamics are what generates the phrase about men and how women categorize them: .... "Alpha Fucks, Beta Bucks". Your BF has just experienced TYPICAL female behavior ... and he now realizes that is how virtually all females behave. His reaction is a logical reaction to the reality of life today. As a male my experience has been much like your current BF's. EVERY female I have ever been in a relationship with but one has also done the sleeping around thingamajig. I don't trust either anymore ... and NEVER will. Wow, I hope you can overcome... Your theory is VERY wrong. "The more you know, the crazier you look" |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 59631785 United States 06/25/2014 05:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? Hi SG! I wouldn't be upset that he didn't say the words. It takes much longer than a few months to let the fear go and trust again, when he's been thru such upset. He just needs time. Only time can build trust. I can't imagine he could ever let you go - one word that describes you very well is V I V A C I O U S! :hiyasmiley: |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 05:16 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? My husband was like that too when we first got together. Well for some time after, really. But, eight years of marriage has helped him learn to trust again. Quoting: kwittykwitty Don't give up OP, and don't despair. Just be yourself and he will, in time, learn to trust you. Yeah, mine was too. Took a few years to really let go, but eventually he did, and we are happily married. Good luck! Be patient! Thank you so much... you have no idea how much better it makes me feel to know there's hope... especially from someone who's been in my shoes. :smokin1: |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 05:27 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? Hi SG! I wouldn't be upset that he didn't say the words. It takes much longer than a few months to let the fear go and trust again, when he's been thru such upset. He just needs time. Only time can build trust. Quoting: Sloane I can't imagine he could ever let you go - one word that describes you very well is V I V A C I O U S! :hiyasmiley: Thanks Sloane I'm trying to be the best version of myself that I can. I even quit drinking... and I'm back in the gym full time! :smokin1: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 38052225 United States 06/25/2014 05:36 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Guitarguy55 User ID: 57064084 United States 06/25/2014 05:47 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? I'm just kinda jumping in here But I lost the trust of my wife of 28yrs we are separated now but she told me she wants a divorce that's kind of off the table for now but she said she could never trust me again. I hope things work out the way you want them to you have my blessings Peace and Love Guitarguy66\ Gave you some green karma Last Edited by Guitarguy55 on 06/25/2014 05:48 PM Guitarguy55 The Breaker of many a G-String! |
indiandave User ID: 57269631 United States 06/25/2014 06:19 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 06:21 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? I'm just kinda jumping in here But I lost the trust of my wife of 28yrs we are separated now but she told me she wants a divorce that's kind of off the table for now but she said she could never trust me again. I hope things work out the way you want them to you have my blessings Quoting: Guitarguy55 Peace and Love Guitarguy66\ Gave you some green karma Awww thanks guitarguy... and I'm sorry about your hardship. :smokin1: |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 06:22 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 06:23 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 39892112 United States 06/25/2014 06:31 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 33560264 United States 06/25/2014 06:35 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? And I know he does. And I love him. I told him a couple days ago. Quoting: Stoned Goddess He said he's afraid to say it even though I already know how he feels... and doesn't wanna move fast... because I could end up cheating on him in a couple years down the road.. Seriously WTF??? I can't blame him after what he's been through. He's been cheated on in every relationship he's had... at least 3 different girls that I know of have put him through misery. Fucking cunts these days... making all of us women look bad. I just want to live a normal, faithful life with a good man... He still wants to see me exclusively... I've never been one to "take it slow" but I will respect his feelings. Now I'm the one who's afraid. I've only been cheated on once and so I have a little more faith in people. I believe you can love more than one person in your life... but I've never believed in a soul-mate until I met him. I don't even call him my boyfriend because I feel like that would be undermining him and essentially doing him a disservice... "anyone" can be a boyfriend. But there's only one of him. And if I didn't have him I would be bound to spend my life alone. Me right now: :ahhh: At the risk of sounding cold hearted and rude. Maybe he doesn't love you. I am sure I'm not the first to say that as I am not reading this thread, just orig post. Or, quite possibly, he's married or has another girlfriend and you're the one who's on the side. : / He doesn't sounds like any male I know, and I am a male. |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 06:45 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? You sound like a keeper Stoned Goddess. You sound very loving and giving. I hope he knows what he has. Quoting: indiandave Thanks indiandave... I try my hardest. Very giving indeed Gave it up way too soon and now wonders why things are like they are. Easy women never learn. Sounds like you're getting cabin fever from living in your moms basement, AC. :smokin1: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 38596091 United States 06/25/2014 06:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? hes a "musician" = he has a band it was "supposed to be friends with benefits but we both feel its more now" = as above poster said, you are easy and he just doesn't have anyone to fall back on just yet get over it |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 06:50 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? And I know he does. And I love him. I told him a couple days ago. Quoting: Stoned Goddess He said he's afraid to say it even though I already know how he feels... and doesn't wanna move fast... because I could end up cheating on him in a couple years down the road.. Seriously WTF??? I can't blame him after what he's been through. He's been cheated on in every relationship he's had... at least 3 different girls that I know of have put him through misery. Fucking cunts these days... making all of us women look bad. I just want to live a normal, faithful life with a good man... He still wants to see me exclusively... I've never been one to "take it slow" but I will respect his feelings. Now I'm the one who's afraid. I've only been cheated on once and so I have a little more faith in people. I believe you can love more than one person in your life... but I've never believed in a soul-mate until I met him. I don't even call him my boyfriend because I feel like that would be undermining him and essentially doing him a disservice... "anyone" can be a boyfriend. But there's only one of him. And if I didn't have him I would be bound to spend my life alone. Me right now: :ahhh: At the risk of sounding cold hearted and rude. Maybe he doesn't love you. I am sure I'm not the first to say that as I am not reading this thread, just orig post. Or, quite possibly, he's married or has another girlfriend and you're the one who's on the side. : / He doesn't sounds like any male I know, and I am a male. I can take the heat... I'm a big girl. If he doesn't "love me" per say, I know he's at least falling. And we've spent enough time together that I know I can trust his intentions 100% without a doubt. And he's not like any male you've ever met... or that I've met for that matter. That's why I recognize how special he is... and am willing to do whatever I can to make him happy. I could go into so many more personal details to justify why I know my intuition is correct here... but I just can't do that on GLP. The evidence is there... and at the end of the day, we're very, VERY happy together! :smokin1: |
Stoned Goddess (OP) User ID: 58808552 Canada 06/25/2014 06:51 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? hes a "musician" = he has a band Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38596091 it was "supposed to be friends with benefits but we both feel its more now" = as above poster said, you are easy and he just doesn't have anyone to fall back on just yet get over it Tons of girls are into him, yet he remains loyal to me. You sir, know nothing. :smokin1: |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 38596091 United States 06/25/2014 07:48 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? hes a "musician" = he has a band Quoting: Anonymous Coward 38596091 it was "supposed to be friends with benefits but we both feel its more now" = as above poster said, you are easy and he just doesn't have anyone to fall back on just yet get over it Tons of girls are into him, yet he remains loyal to me. You sir, know nothing. keep tellin yourself that ms. "hes afraid to say he loves me and im not" |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 57259359 United States 06/25/2014 07:58 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | Re: Thanks to cheating bitches... my bf is afraid to tell me he loves me... how do you teach someone to trust again?? My husband was like that too when we first got together. Well for some time after, really. But, eight years of marriage has helped him learn to trust again. Quoting: kwittykwitty Don't give up OP, and don't despair. Just be yourself and he will, in time, learn to trust you. Be patient. Quoting: Generation Grace From 1 Corinthians 13.. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Thanks... I won't... I can't... I'm just afraid that it will cause me to act crazy. I was taken aback the other night when I told him how I felt... because I didn't get the reaction I was expecting. I got upset and acted like a huge fool... which I apologized for the next day. The last thing I need to do is drive him away. I've never had this problem...lol I've also never been the first one to say "I love you" Life is fucked how it works.... It also pains me to know what he's gone through in the past. I thought he already realized that I'm the one to make things right... I'm the one to stand by him... I'm hurt that he doesn't see it yet. If you are a stripper as signature below your icon says, you may have a hard time getting him to actually fall in love with you. Men want to fuck strippers not love them. If I was a stripper, do you really think I would be putting that information out there on GLP? It's a fucking joke dude. Whatever, you will always be a stripper to me. |
Anonymous Coward User ID: 1739167 United States 06/25/2014 08:12 PM Report Abusive Post Report Copyright Violation | |