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Humanity Vs the Robot Alien Agenda

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 31148721
Australia
08/16/2014 04:40 AM
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Humanity Vs the Robot Alien Agenda
Welcome, I knew you would come. You always do :)
This is not one of those threads though, no, this is a epic story thread. A trip into the unknown where you get to decide if I am a piper, or a stoner lol or both, or neither. Depends if you are a believer.

So as my.. I mean our story goes there was once a race of humans. They were a bit different to the current model as they had evolved on another planet. I cant remember the name of this planet, it was so so long ago but it was in this solar system. It could have been Uranus though. I have been known to talk shit from time to time.

So let us say for this story, the citizens of this whole world were similar to us except more like a fish. Eggs and shit but no chickens, just caviar and tadpole type life with the odd guppy. Anyway these guppies evolved to a bipedal type land dragon. Upon reaching the land they saw these trees which had delicious red spheres dangling, much like the pair of balls they would soon be endowed with :)

They also noticed a furry type cat like jumping creature. None of the fish heads had seen these things before so they observed them jumping up and eating the red spheres effortlessly, I will call them apples for this story.

As a result of being fascinated with this jumping creature, they evolved and learnt to walk on two feet. They could not jump for shit so they stood up and started to pick the apples off. Now this really upset the monkeys but they were too small to do anything so they moved to another garden to be left alone.

Eventually these fish heads evolved some more and got hands. The hands had thumbs so the water creatures began to play around with the land. Buildings and all sorts of things were erected to express the fish heads pleasure in constructing and dominating the land.

Over periods of time the fish heads came across the monkey men again and realised the monkeys were not adapting to their brutal takeover of the land.

They tried to help the monkeys but it just wouldn't work. Monkeys apparently did not like being forced into evolution by the fish. This confused the fish so they desperately tried to resolve the arising inevitable conflict by creating a system. First it was a sneaky set of rules to trick the monkeys into behaving then they would capture all the monkeys and use them as slaves. The fish expected the monkeys would be less violent if preoccupied with serving something. They were right too. The monkeys were less aggressive and everything seemed to work out for a while.

What the fish did not expect was the monkeys to learn what was going on, how they were being used. Once this had happened the fish panicked for they believed the monkeys would force the fish to exterminate them or they would be attacked.

The fish then built a machine. One smart cookie for a fish devised a robot that could lead the monkeys for them while they ate all the apples they could get their fangs into.

But...

Years passed without a hiccup until a single monkey aptly dubbed 'monkey magic' figured out how to reprogram the robot and teach it to show the monkeys how to fight back against the fish.

The monkey was pretty smart though, he (or she I didn't check for balls myself) figured out it was best not to alert the fish just yet to the fact their own machine was teaching the monkeys.

Finally the time had come for the monkeys to take back the land from the fish. MM (Monkey magic) had made the final tweaks to the machine, showing it how to rebuild organic matter In case of emergency.

Then the first war started. It was brutal and all sentient life was destroyed as a result. Except.. the machine, the failsafe.

MM's work had now time to come into play. The Machine, called Betty Botty for this story went to work to rebuild the monkey but it had one problem. It did not know what was monkey and what was fish so it took the materials and created...Something lol

It made lots of these something's but they kept dyeing off really fast. So, just like the monkeys, the machine learnt it needed to create another type of something so that these something's could make more things. I will call these new things humans Mark 1 for this story.

Now this process kept repeating on Uranus all the way to earth chewing up the other planets in the process. The machine did not know why, the humans were clueless but then something finally happened. A human remembered it made the machine. The machine could now be finally reconciled to its intended purpose, to assist life become greater than itself, the machine.

:coolstorybro:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 31148721
Australia
08/16/2014 05:57 AM
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Re: Humanity Vs the Robot Alien Agenda
It does actually make more sense to me than some books people hold to a candle at knight..

To me anyway. I smoke pot :D

Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 31148721
Australia
08/16/2014 10:01 AM
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Re: Humanity Vs the Robot Alien Agenda
First of all this a cheap bump to promote my uber story. I never really figured out what uber meant in nerd speak but I gather it means awesome.

Then I came across this song. I got a violin woody at the moment so I thought I would share it with the community.
And my biggest fan.....Me :)

Anonymous Coward
User ID: 60793275
United States
08/16/2014 10:29 AM
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Re: Humanity Vs the Robot Alien Agenda
Cool video!

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