My husband texts other women at all hours of the night.

when someone texts like that, it's likely to mean they don't want anyone to hear what they are saying..

He's completely in the wrong. Looking to cheat (if it's not ready ongoing) get out now. Been there done that. I can't post what I'm really thinking for fear of being banned. Good luck to you. I can promise you. He will NEVER change

You can touch each other...just not each other's phone! Am I right??? How I HATE technology.

I need to thank my lucky f ing stars that we live in my house. He's basically the same. Cheating can't be trusted. But this post gives me hope Seriously I need to get him out. It's all mine. All mine. F him I think I'll pack tomorrow

It sounded more like his husband might have more to do with it. I mean, he goes off somewhere to have sext message with chicks and this wife works 2 jobs to try and pay off debt. It sucks either way. Work hard to pay off debt but too tired to do the duty for the husband...

The debt was honestly from both of us. I would say we are pretty equal parts in that. We both used to tend to take a "head in the sand Lalalalaa everything's fine" approach to problems instead of dealing with them head on.

I'm home now and I locked myself in the guest room. I just can't stand to talk to him right now, I am so angry. His solution is that I violated his privacy and so he's going to go down to Verizon & get his own phone line, separate from mine. Because THAT will clearly fix this whole problem. Then I guess he can just text away without me knowing.

PS I never snooped on his phone for everyone who keeps saying that. I looked at our PHONE BILL, which is mailed to our house & itemizes our usage (texts, calls etc) by line. Once I saw this number appearing so much, I logged into our account online (which I am in charge of paying) and looked at the last few bills. Usually I don't even bother opening the bills and I just pay it online or by phone. So I wasn't doing any secret phone hacking or anything like that.



Thanks you guys for giving me a little LOL! :)

I would love to stay up as late as he does. But on the weekends I'm beat. I work full time and then I have a second part time online job which can be up to 6 hours every night and on the weekends. Then come Saturday night he wants to stay up until 2 or 3 AM sitting on the patio drinking (and apparently texting) and I just can't hang. Shit maybe I need to develop a coke habit.

He's completely in the wrong. Looking to cheat (if it's not ready ongoing) get out now. Been there done that. I can't post what I'm really thinking for fear of being banned. Good luck to you. I can promise you. He will NEVER change

I am a man. I'm a MGTOW man, and i have posted things here that have made women and cuckolded men mad.

But this advice above is TRUE. It's too late. He's a cheater. Have some self-respect. CUT HIM OFF NOW.

Document his texts, save the phone record you're viewing online. CALL A LAWYER TOMORROW. F HIM.

Your relationship may be broken, you may not give him good head, you may be fat, I dunno---but his having an affair while still married is wrong, a treacherous betrayal. Get out. He can and SHOULD do his own thing and not answer to YOU---but he must be divorced or unmarried to do that. He signed up for marriage.

This is the best idea I have ever heard. Any woman interested in building a better relationship needs to take note.

:O This::FaceMarsRight:

What! Are you stupid?.... Be on your way, you don't have a husband, you have a room mate. You're the one acting like a damn teenage. WALK ALREADY

Yup. That happened to me as well. Like you, I was just paying bills for both of us and I just happened to noticed the pattern... odd hours... etc...

Honestly, I don't know what to tell you... if you don't have a kid... might be just a much easier way to divorce your hubby and deal with bankrupty so you can recover rather sooner than later...

How many times has he been separated from you and he would have had time to cheat on you? Has he come home later than expected and something didnt seem right/suspicious? Does he have time at work to go meet her without your knowledge? Any other times you suspect he was WITH her?

If the answer is yes to any of those questions, and he officially declines marriage counseling, Nd its gone on for some time without his efforts to reconcile with you, then you should talk to a lawyer. The emotional abuse is, well, abusive.

Take that motherfucker to the cleaners. cheating for sure. ?.

He's just going to keep doing it. Get out while you can and there are no kids. He's a dog and not to be trusted.

Your husband better commit to you to not have ANY more female friends or you should really consider leaving him.

He has proven to you that you cannot trust him.

Wonder how he would react if it was you with all these mal "friends"

Last Edited by telling it straight on 09/15/2014 09:03 PM

Hmmm. Lots of good advice here but subtract the couch surfing and and shout Girls Night Out. Make new guy friends and go to a night class and mingle.

Get a copy of all the phone records.Trust me they will come in handy later on.
In the meantime since you dont have kids just stick it out with him regarding the financial mess but make a life for yourself.Let him play but find someone for yourself and let him be.Ignore his ass and dont waste a minute of time on him.
Pamper yourself and find a new person to spend time with.

Lots of people are stuck together due to bills but have a life of their own.

Bullshit. He's her HUSBAND. If the selfish asswipe was a real man he'd sit down with her and say he's unhappy, vs. sneaking around like a coward.

God help the woman you're with.

Time for you to sit down and have a very honest conversation. If he won't even do that it's over.

I was married to my ex wife for 15 years. She started the sneaking crap. If they'll lie once, they aren't going to stop. I told her, I will not live like this. She filed for divorce. Good riddance.

I am not for divorce but I'm not a doormat either. He's already left you in his mind.

Force his hand. Make him make a choice, you don't deserve this BS.

My husband was doing the same thing and like you I thought it would be better for me and my children to stick with it.

I had no money, we had bills and lived pay check to pay check.

He wracked up so much debt in phone bills and sending gifts to some woman states away that he had my signature notarized by someone he knew. He told them that I was in a coma from a car accident.

Took out a second mortgage on MY house that I put his name on. He refused to let me have a key to the mail box saying he didn't want me to feel burdened.

Then left me with 2 children 3 years later. I could have pressed charges but my children asked me not to so i didn't.

I will have to pay for this for the rest of my life.

My children wear hand me downs. I have to borrow money from my family all the time and at the end of every week I have less than 5 dollars in the bank. My house would have been payed off in 4 years, I had to file for a hardship reduction and will be paying for 25 more years.

I will be dead by then.

The fact that you don't have children makes it easier to leave now, IMHO.

Please don't let the same happen to you. By the way I was married for 23 years.

You were right in what you said. Absolutely correct. She shouldn't be trying to recreate her teens with a husband and kids at home.

I agree and sorry for u dealing with an ahole for a husband. Time to cut ur losses, look out for yourself and move on. It will b difficult, but u will get through it and be a stronger and happier person with time.

Dump his ass OP. You are better off without him. Know your true worth. There is someone out there who will respect you and treat you as you deserved to be treated. Do no settle for less.

Agree.

Wow...sad story. sorry for you. Really sucks.

Thank you.

I will be okay (I hope).

I just keep thinking, I better learn from all of this, all that I can because if there is such a thing as reincarnation, I do not want to go through this again. LOL.

I Hope telling the story can help someone.

Wow, thank you all for the advice & similar stories.

We had a major conversation tonight about it. He walked in and was like, "Don't you have something to say to me?" expecting an apology from ME for "snooping." Um, I read the bill. That isn't exactly doing detective work. Supposedly she's someone he dated 15 years ago. Um ok, fine. So why are you texting her at 2 AM after I'm asleep in bed? I told him it wasn't appropriate and he hit the roof. I told him I was going to start texting my old boyfriends. He said fine, I have no problem with that. Again, whatever dude. He says they just talk about 'whatever' and says she isn't single. I'm going to ask him tomorrow if her spouse knows & what his opinion is of these late night texting festivals. Bottom line, he sees absolutely nothing wrong with this, and will continue to do it. He even reiterated to me that he's going to get his own phone so he can do whatever he wants.

He basically told me that he decided our marriage was over a couple of months ago, and that his plan was to pay off all our shit and then get a divorce & move on. This entire time I had been working under the delusion - and hope - that we were working TOGETHER to get out from under our debt and start a new life together. We had even planned to move to another town & now he's saying he had basically called that off 2 months ago but didn't tell me. Also how I am "just not a very good wife." Just a week ago on my birthday he took me out to dinner and gave me this sweet handwritten card about how we get closer every year and he hopes for many more. Now I know it was all nothing but bullshit. It makes me sick. I feel like my whole life has been ripped out from under me. I know things were not always perfect, but the ONE thing that has always kept me going through all of this is the light at the end of the tunnel. And he just doused that.

We basically agreed we have to stay together for the next few months to pay things off. I can't stand being fake and pretending all is rosey when obviously he's been feeling otherwise for a long time. After this I will literally have nothing, and I am almost 40 and too old to start over. I have no family or friends, and have basically ruined my entire life. So what, I can end up divorced and living in a shitty apartment at a job I hate, paycheck to paycheck, to die alone? At this point I am honestly feeling like I will survive/work long enough to pay off whatever, and then I will probably just go somewhere and die. I know that sounds pitiful, but really at this point, I have nothing to offer and no real will to live.