Breaking- Earth to be renamed "planet crazy" as per ET instruction.

This is crazy. Tears are practically exploding out of my face while I write this. I was cutting some onions when my aunt told me that her husband is doing work with aliens and they think were a bunch of tards with no marketable skills.

The ETs made contact with arecibo radio reciever antenna where my uncle works. Apparently the rest of the galaxy is pissed because they really wanted clay aiken to win american idol back in 2003 but since he got 2nd, their whole fleet is ready to descend on every capitol city in the world. Their culture holds us in low esteem ever since rexieving our television signals last march of this year. I always thought the ets would bbe more politically motivated, or maybe concerned with him fher worldly affairs like organized religion or child slavery.

Turns out they are die hard reality tv show fans, and we have really angered them. Or soersging.