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Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only

 
Question about Islam, Trolls,
User ID: 105517
United States
07/22/2006 04:30 PM
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Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
This is a dialogue between myself and a poster elsewhere. Would someone tell me if the second response to my post is correct? Thanks in advance.

Red Step Child, are you out there?



72 Questions on the 72 Virgins***RISQUE***
Author: Bo
Date: 07-22-06 14:38

1) What if the bomber wants girls with more experience?
2) What if one virgin is no good in bed? Does she get replaced or is he stuck with 71?
3) If he's gay, does he get male virgins?
4) What if he's celibate? What does he get?
5) What if he hasn't reached puberty yet? Does he get 72 Xboxes till he comes of age?
6) If he's bi, does he get 36 of each?
7) If he blows himself up while building the bomb, does he still get credit?
8) What do you call a relationship with 72 women, a menage-a-soixante-deux?
9) Are they like 72 wives or 1 wife and 71 concubines?
10) What if he's ugly or smells bad and the virgins don't want anything to do with him?
11) Is there viagra in paradise? Ya know, just in case?
12) Is there an age of consent?
13) When they're deflowered, do they get replaced by new virgins or are they "born again"?
14) Do they become his common-law wives eventually?
15) If he has a tryst with a 73rd virgin, do the others consider it cheating?
16) Do the virgins have a union? If so, can they strike if they're not satisfied?
17) Is there a temp agency that replaces virgins if they call in sick?
18) What if the bomber's into animals? Does he get accommodated?
19) Why 72? Is 71 too few? Is 73 too many?
20) If it was a female bomber, how do the male virgins prove their virginity?
21) What happens when paradise runs out of virgins?
22) Can a bomber make reservations on specific virgins before he blows himself up?
23) If there are no virgins available, is he put on a waiting list?
24) If he's a catholic priest, does he get 72 little boys?
25) Would you call a female bomber a bombshell?
26) Would you call a child bomber a bombino?
27) Is it not 73 out of respect for Barry Bond's home run record?
28) If the bomber previously dated one of the virgins, does it get awkward?
29) Do they have a bomb squad in paradise just in case one of the charges didn't go off?
30) Did they start using female bombers because they ran out of virgins for the guys?
31) If she's a lesbian, do they "convert" the virgins, or will straight girls suffice her?
32) Does a hermaphrodite bomber get hermaphrodite virgins?
33) If so, are there 72 available?
34) If they run out of virgins, do they get inflatable dolls till they find more?
35) If a bomber finds an infidel in paradise, can he blow him up and get 72 more virgins?
36) Could the Koran have had a typo and it actually provided just one 72 year old virgin?
37) Is Muslim hell being one of the 72 virgins?
38) Instead of 72 guys, would a female bomber settle for 1 man who does dishes and garbage?
39) Do the bombers go broke on Valentine's Day?
40) If he's monogamous, does he pick one of the 72 or does he get a supermodel?
41) What if he doesn't like either gender? Does he just klutz around in paradise?
42) Eternity is long, and eventually he'll grow bored of his 72 women. What happens then?
43) How does he pick the 72 to begin with? Lottery? Beauty pageant? Police lineup?
44) Is he allowed to covet his neighbor's virgins?
45) Do the virgins have agents and/or contracts?
46) If so, can a virgin request to be traded or put on waivers if she's unhappy?
47) What should he say if one of the virgins asks "Does this Burka make me look fat?"
48) If he gives the wrong answer, is he uh, screwed?
49) How is anyone expected to handle a catfight amongst 72 women?
50) Did the 9/11 hijackers who didn't know they were going to die get 72 virgins too?
51) Are scouts employed to find virgin talent?
52) Do the virgins ever retire, or do they remain virgins forever?
53) If they retire, what kind of pension plan do they get?
54) Wouldn't it be interesting if they're virgins because they're ugly?
55) So is it 72 Muslim girls or like 1 virgin from every culture?
56) Wouldn't it be sweet if Lorena Bobbit got hired as one of the virgins?
57) What does Gloria Steinem have to say about all this?
58) When he gets home, does he have to say "How was your day?" to all 72 virgins?
59) Do they have counseling for sexual addiction in paradise?
60) If the virgins start hogging the remote, is he in hell?
61) They must take up an entire theater when they go to the movies, huh?
62) Are there restaurants in paradise that can accommodate a reservation for 73?
63) If a virgin suffers from multiple personalities, is she considered two virgins?
64) Does he get all the virgins at once, or do they have an installment plan?
65) Is the bomber entitled to subsitutes, exchanges, or refunds?
66) What if all the king's horses and all the king's men can't put the bomber together again?
67) Is "not tonight, dear, I have a headache" a valid excuse in paradise?
68) Do the virgins come with a warranty?
69) If so, does paradise replace defective parts and provide on-site service?
70) What do you call a lifetime warranty if you're dead?
71) Do siamese twin bombers get 144 virgins?
72) Who gets to clean up all those nasty sheets?
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Re: 72 Questions on the 72 Virgins***RISQUE***
Author: ME:)
Date: 07-22-06 14:46

Lol. You do know the 72 virgins deal is a joke thsat has been passed around? Regardless, I guess it's funny.

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Re: 72 Questions on the 72 Virgins***RISQUE***
Author: Bo
Date: 07-22-06 15:06

Actually, not a joke. It's a combination of passages from the Qur'an and a commentary by a Qurannic scholar from the 14th century.

"Serving [the believers] will be immortal youths with jeweled and crystal cups filled with the purest wine which will neither give them headache nor hangover, with fruits and meats of their desire. They will be fair ones with lovely intense eyes like guarded pearls; A reward for the good deeds of their past life." (56:17-24)

"We have created mates for them and made them virgins, matched in age, for the companions of the right hand." (56:35-38)

"They will be chaste, restraining their eyes in modesty, never touched by man or Jinn."(55:56)

"Serving them will be immortal servants. When you see them, they will look like scattered pearls." (76:19)

The number 72 comes from a hadith that says "'The smallest reward [each] for the people of Heaven is an abode where there are 80,000 servants and 72 wives, over which stands a dome decorated with pearls, aquamarine and ruby, as wide as the distance from [Damascus] to [Yemen].

The interesting thing about there being specifically 72 is that it takes 72 years for the earth to precess a degree of arc. This is interesting because most believe that ancient man had no way of knowing anything of the Earth's precession, so how did the scholar land on the number 72?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 120781
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07/22/2006 04:43 PM
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Re: Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
I
nterestingly enough mo is supposed to have said that by the time he returns judaism will have split into 71 sects, cjristianity 72, and islam 73 sects - only one of which will be the true one - the rest will go to hell with the infidels.
Perhaps that is how he figured that there would be so many spare virgins to go around.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 105517
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07/22/2006 04:56 PM
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Re: Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
I
nterestingly enough mo is supposed to have said that by the time he returns judaism will have split into 71 sects, cjristianity 72, and islam 73 sects - only one of which will be the true one - the rest will go to hell with the infidels.
Perhaps that is how he figured that there would be so many spare virgins to go around.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 120781


Do you know what verse it is? Is that actually in the Koran?
Thanks.
Manticore

User ID: 120676
United Kingdom
07/22/2006 04:59 PM
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Re: Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
I
nterestingly enough mo is supposed to have said that by the time he returns judaism will have split into 71 sects, cjristianity 72, and islam 73 sects - only one of which will be the true one - the rest will go to hell with the infidels.
Perhaps that is how he figured that there would be so many spare virgins to go around.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 120781


Someone show that prophecy to the doom-saying fundies!

I think it's safe to say that there are not that many denominations in either of the three religions.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 105517
United States
07/22/2006 05:52 PM
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Re: Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
Well it's confusing how he goes from what is sarcasm, or so it looks to me, to typing something poetic, that MIGHT be right. But I don't know of that many denominations for Christians, even with cults.


Well, I'll be back later.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74097
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07/22/2006 09:49 PM
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Re: Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
You stupid murikans never seize to amaze the rests of the world. First of all, you precede your qoute of the Quran with ridiculous whats and Ifs. Secondly, the verse you quoted did not mention suicide bombers and hijackers. It says "believers and those who do good." Meaning if you believe in God , you will do good deed because God never ask anyone to do evil even in the quran. "Believers and those who do good " could mean even Christians and Jews.
Finally,it did not say MUslims will get 72 virgins. 72 here is not a fixed number, its like saying " I have told you a hundred times." Its just a figure of speech.
Islam is the only religion that recognises people of other faith as going to heaven when they die unlike Christianity or Judaism. So much for intolerance in Islam.
Anonymous Coward
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07/22/2006 10:19 PM
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Re: Question for Muslims, Serious Posters Only
We have to skip over many verses which clearly uphold the same teaching of waging war against the unbelievers during the years in Medina[64] but will now pick up one Sura from the last years of Muhammad’s life, after conquering Mecca in A.D. 630, which establishes fighting not as defensive any more, but aggressive Jihad against all unbelievers. As Bailey writes in the context of this last phase of Qur’anic development, “ince this is the final teaching of the Qur’an regarding Jihad, it is what is still in force today.”[65]

Sura 9:1-6 says:

A (declaration) of immunity from God and His Apostle, to those of the pagans with whom ye have contracted mutual alliances. Go ye, then, for four months backwards and forwards (as ye will) throughout the land, but know ye that ye cannot frustrate God (by your falsehood), but that God will cover with shame those who reject Him. And an announcement from God and His Apostle, to the people (assembled) on the day of the great pilgrimage – that God and His Apostle dissolve (treaty) obligations to the pagans. If, then ye repent, it were best for you. But if ye turn away, know ye that ye cannot frustrate God. And proclaim a grievous penalty to those who reject faith. (But the treaties are) not dissolved with those pagans with whom ye have entered into alliance and who have not subsequently failed you in aught, nor aided any one against you. So fulfill your engagements with them to the end of their term, for God loveth the righteous. But when the forbidden months are past, then fight and slay the pagans wherever ye find them, and seize them, beleaguer them, and lie in wait for them in every stratagem (of war). But if they repent, and establish regular prayers and practice regular charity, then open the way for them. (Emphasis mine.)

The list of unbelievers (hence the enemies of Allah) includes Jews and Christians besides pagans as Sura 9 continues in verses 29-31:

Fight those who believe not in God nor the last day, nor hold that forbidden which hath been forbidden by God and His Apostle, nor acknowledge the religion of truth, (even if they are) of the people of the Book [Bible], until they pay the jizya with willing submission, feel themselves subdued. Jews call Uzair [Ezra] a son of God, and the Christians call Christ the Son of God ... God’s curse be on them; how they are deluded away from truth! They take their priests and their anchorites to be their lords in derogation of God, and (they take as their Lord) Christ the son of Mary. Yet they are commanded to worship but One God. (Emphasis mine)

“Those who reject faith” are those who do not want to become Muslims and at this point no more treaties of non-attack are to be observed, since it was decided that they “cannot frustrate God” any longer. The Qur’an clearly establishes an attitude of war toward all those who don’t believe Islam, wherever they may live, until they “repent and establish regular prayers and practice regular charity, then open the way to them.” Yusuf Ali’s comment is: “when war becomes inevitable, it must be prosecuted with vigour.”[66] This gives you the impression that it is a war not chosen by Muslims but by God, as it is viewed in the context of a mandate to subdue the world for Islam. The inevitability of war is interpreted not as the Muslims’ choice but as something imposed upon them. The time had come to abolish all agreements of peace with religious others and fight them until they become Muslims and follow Islamic laws.





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