Anyone here live or lived in New Zealand? Or know anyone who has?

My husband is a Kiwi, and our family lived in an Auckland suburb at three separate times (1985-6; 1996-98; 2001-08). Make sure you can handle the culture shock and Anti-American attitude. I couldn't. The challenge was fun for a while, until reality set in.

The differences are subtle, but very real. I missed and came to appreciate all that makes America great. I didn't know how much my country meant to me until I tried to fit in there.

My husband had everything he wanted: a great job, company car, executive home, power boat. But he also was frustrated with the attitudes, rugby-drinking culture, national health system, and high taxes. I got tired of the shortages and low-quality of goods, the high cost of living, the geographic isolation, and the ever-present Anti-American comments (both subtly and outwardly expressed).

The younger generations generally don’t like or trust Americans. They know of America from politics and TV, but don't at all understand real Americans. On the other hand, the older folks are forever indebted to America for saving them from the Japanese in WW2.

Make sure you live near other Americans so you can have a social life. Otherwise you are likely to remain socially isolated. We got along better with South African and English immigrants. You will miss Americans, your friends, and your family -- don't kid yourself into thinking you won't. And realize you will be raising your child/children without family around you.

The schools my children went to were good in the elementary and middle school years. It's different from what we have here, and for the most part I liked the integration of arts, sports, and performances. It was a less academically based system, however. They have few text books, and they waste loads of paper. We were unimpressed with the high schools. My son struggled in school, and they basically forced him out at age 15-1/2. He got swept up in the heavy drinking culture that is a very real problem there. The old apprenticeship system is finished, and boys really struggle there -- high death and suicide rates for young men.

As much as I understood my husband's desire to live close to his extended family, I kept needing to return home. I missed my own people, culture, and traditions and could never fully adapt to the Kiwi culture. I missed Thanksgiving, the Superbowl and World Series (and I'm not even a sports fan), Christmas in the winter (theirs is a beach holiday), 4th of July, etc.

My best friend there was an American lady who eventually left her husband and two children behind and moved back to America. It was heartbreaking for everyone. She became so depressed that she couldn't remain in NZ any longer, but her husband wouldn't permit the kids to leave. I had another American girlfriend who returned home with her family after 5 years in NZ.

Ultimately, I decided that I'd rather live and die in America, no matter how bad it gets here, than live in a foreign land and raise little Kiwi children. My kids are happy living in America because of the variety of experiences offered here. They want to return to NZ for a visit, but not to live there. My husband loves America.

My advice: Go down there on a temporary basis, but don't tell people you're a vacationer because that will give you a distorted perception of how they treat you. (Kiwis welcome tourists, not so much permanent residents.) Understand what it is truly like to live there before you burn your bridges and cash it all in for an unrealistic vision of paradise.

Remember, there is no paradise on earth; life is what you make it; and no matter where you live, there you are.

I traveled through other parts of NZ, but only lived in the Howick, Auckland, area. I agree that Auckland presents a different experience than what you'd get in other parts of the country.

However, that doesn't change the fact that emigration is more stressful than people realize. It's hard enough to establish yourself in a new situation in your own country; it's even harder to do so in another country -- especially if both adults in the country are foreigners.

Setting up a new house, getting new jobs, buying cars, figuring out driving, schooling, banking, healthcare, shopping, eating, you name it -- are all very stressful. America and NZ might both be English-speaking countries, but that doesn't mean the cultures are at all the same.

Living in another country can be very hard on a relationship. The adjustment takes years. The lack of cultural similarities means you won't have a strong support network and caring friends to help you through.

I read that from the early settler days of NZ (the 1840s), 40% of migrants have returned to their home countries. This is still true today (sorry, I can't find the source). I also met many NZ immigrants who eventually left for Australia.

Move if you want the experience, but agree with your spouse beforehand on an out clause. Since there's a child involved, you have to choose your marriage and family over remaining in NZ. One parent won't be able to leave with the child unless the other parent agrees to it.

Thanks so much for the info, that is a good perspective to hear.

And we are looking at an apartment. Not in Auckland. LOL.

Thankfully we like to sweep our most inconvenient social problems under the carpet and blame anyone but ourselves just like the rest of the world. Yay!