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I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend

 
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2014 04:25 PM
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I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
This friend of mine, who I realize I'm not his friend, is a suspected maligned narcissist who I also overhear emotionally abusing his children.

What is a maligned narcissist? You don't want to find out! Because by the time you do, it's too late and you've already been manipulated, used, and discarded, left in a state of awe where you try to convince yourself "this person would NEVER do this to me..." and when they have been discovered they usually either go into a narcissistic rage, or they become devious/malevolent and do things to "get back at you" once the facade has been lifted and they are exposed. But this might actually be the psychopathic/sociopathic streak in them too.

These people would fuck you over in a heartbeat to get what they want.

And so, I realize that is what is happening to me BUT I HAVE NO PROOF. It is leaving me feel used, abused, and discarded which is the hallmark signs that you are a victim of a narcissistic abuser.

But one day everything clicks into place like a puzzle; the weird statements...the constant need for validation and praise...the "do it or else!" mindset they display when they want something, while pretend to be your friend, then when you give it to them they have had enough of you till the next time.

You would never know what malevolent evil someone has lurking inside them until you put yourself in a position of vulnerability and allow yourself to be fooled by them again and again.

These is some of the things that have happened to me and my stuff over the course of several years, and when I get done explaining all the details, it will just "make sense".

Ok, so let's start off by saying that this person whom I know has so many facets it's almost unimaginable.

Things started to go sour when I used to live with him. It was all Ok for a while but when he didn't get his way, I'd notice that things of mine went missing and I thought that they were taken by someone else. One time I had a removable window screen that I had bought and it went missing and he knew nothing about it until I saw it in the neighbor's window and I asked to get it back.

I'd notice little dings and dents in my car and I thought is was happening at work, until years later when the same things are starting to happen to a different car that I own. And when I mentioned it when he was around he asked me if I had lot's of enemies. When I said no he brushed off the notion that it was done purposely. You see, everything that has been damaged of mine was always some sort of accident or coincidence. I have my car keyed on all places and it's STILL happening when I'm not around. I also believe that he has taken the spare key to my car is sabotaging it on occasion when I'm away. Just today I opened my truck and found a portable candle which I KNOW FOR A FACT was not there awhile ago being that I cleaned every square inch of the trunk. But that might be a coincidence? Another time I found items in the car that were not there previously, and I know this for a fact.

A while ago I had a gallon jug of used motor oil in the truck and when I went to get it out a few days later, the lid was completely off and the whole thing was tipped upside down and empty. Now, if a jug were to tip over, wouldn't it be emptied just up until the mouth of the opening? What's wore is how he acts around me when this stuff is happening. He sees me cleaning out the truck and then tells me that he "just so happens" to have a bag of rags that he just so happened to make up a few days earlier just in case something like this were to happen. Tell me if that doesn't rub you the wrong way.

Why am I convinced that all this happened. Well, I just so happened to be looking around the apartment and found a spare key to another car of mine hidden on a mantlepiece that I had in an unlocked Sentry safe in my bedroom. WOW!

Get gets more bizarre than that and it would take ten pages to explain all of it. I noticed one day that a lot of the shirts in my closet had strange stains on them that I'm sure wasn't on them, or I would have thrown them out. A lot of these shirts have about 8-10 smaller splatter-like stains on the same location on everyone of the shirts. It is something I would have noticed at the time and there is no way it could be a coincidence. Were talking about 4-5 shirts. I washed everything and threw the ones away that couldn't be washed. Today I noticed another shirt with the same stain pattern (10 or so small splattered dots) that looked like someone masturbated on them, but my brain is stopping me from believing that it could possibly be that sick!)

I noticed that holes made from the butt of a gun started to appear on my ceiling a little at a time, and I notices gouge marks like someone had taken a sharp knife and gouged at the ceiling. One time he did it right in front of me, jammed the barrel of his gun into the ceiling and when we got into an argument he said it was just a cheap ceiling. ARE YOU SERIOUS? so he went into the bathroom and grabbed some toothpaste and went on about how that's how they fix holes in college dorms. A few months later I noticed a bigger hole in the same spot, like he had done it again.

So let's move on to other stuff. How about how he has more pictures of himself on his facebook wall than his children!
He has an obsessive personality whre he will get on a topic and not stop talking or thinking about it for hours or days. Everyone else around him notices it too. Whether it about gays, liberals, rapists, you name it. and then he will go on about how he is "saved" because he is a born again Christian yet all of this is a mask he is wearing to hide who he REALLY is inside, a sick, twisted egotistical narcissist who's wife left him for another man and his kids have to suffer for it.

He is living with me and his two children right now and when he first moved in, shit let me tell you story! He moved out of state about two years ago and always was asking if I'd move down there too; I could have my own place and be in the country, ect. So when a place opened up last year I mailed the landlord the security, rent and was all set to move in. Then a bout a week later he tells me that his wife is kicking him out and he wants to move in with me. At first I was hesitant but after he assured my he could blow his brains out if i didn't, I let him move in out of pity, and that's when the fun began. Even BEFORE his wife left him he went into self-centered selfish episodes (which are verified by several other people.

Now you think that since the lease, the rent, and all the utilities are in my name, that I would naturally be allowed to have the master bedroom. But oh no, it was unfair to him that *I* got the bigger room even though he didn't have a job or a car at the time and I was letting HIM move in. Then a few weeks after i moved in he said something strange

"how do you stand not having a smaller place for yourself?"

Wow..what this meant was he wanted to get me to move, but let him have the place for him and his kids AFTER I put the security deposit down? Really, you're going to be that self-centered tat you would use someone for your own interests and then discard them? THAT IS NARCISSISM.

A few weeks after that he was caught burning his wife's possessions, and he was caught when she came home early from work. He would refuse to watch his OWN children while she worked the weekends, claiming that the weekends were for his own enjoyment. WOW! What parent does that!?

So much more happened from then till now. He finally got a job, but instead of helping me out and contributing to the rent, he purchased a gun and then loaned money to the neighbor because he is a nice person?....oh hell no... I realize now that he was paying him off so that the neighbor would testify in his favor at the custody hearing after she left with the kids and he filed for divorce (you see, she was not allowed to file against him, only he could file against her, because he had no faults at all!)

She claims he is manipulative and emotionally abusive to the kids and I have proof.

He will occasionally tease his daughter until she cries, then he will call her a baby for crying, then apologize, and when the daughter does not accept his apology and show him grandiose affection (narcissistic supply), he will "discard" and punish her. When she voices her negative feelings at being picked on, he will dismiss her and say things like "I don't want to hear it!"

This is emotional abuse and I cannot describe the rage that flows through me when I hear it.
There is so many more little odd statements/occurrences that I cannot put a finger on but I know this, the gas lighting is real, and emotional abusive people, especially narcissistic individuals do it.

I'm at the point where I want this user/abuser out of my life for good. He is not a friend, he is a world in sheep's clothing. All the maligning of everyone else in the world, he cunning, sly deviousness is going to come to an and soon.

I'll leave you with a statement he made to me one time after I had to bent over backwards to "help
him get his kids back."

"If you fuck me over, I'll fuck YOU over".
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 3998821
Canada
11/17/2014 04:30 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
You should see a doctor I think your nuts!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65202365
United States
11/17/2014 05:04 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Such a long drawn out post OP that I didn't read past the first two paragraphs but yes I believe you.
I have a brother thats capable of doing those things and he manages to convince everyone he is the most caring person in the world.They will believe this right up until the point he slams them breathless.
I chose not to see it for years even when I needed medical treatment and he left me to die so he wouldnt have to share an inheritance with me.
Scary people but the problem is no one knows until its to late.
You need away from this person before they decide to do you in.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63238319
Sweden
11/17/2014 05:05 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
you need to cut contact with him completely, or else you'll never get out of his web. once you become a prey to an NPD, you'll always be one
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63159027
United States
11/17/2014 05:16 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Get out of this abusive situation, now that his wife is out of the picture, he may turn on you.

I don't believe you are making this up or are crazy, people like this do exist, and they justify their behavior because they feel "wronged or slighted" somehow.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65136671
United States
11/17/2014 05:24 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
your attitude empowers him.
there are plenty of surveillance options out there,
why not just capture him doing something and then show him the reason you are ending the relationship.
you are not his helpless victim in this scenario, his kids are
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65192729
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11/17/2014 05:30 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Malignant, and in my experience ( though I was unable to read your nonsense story). People making assertions about narcissm I others are seriously afflicted with it themselves and come to see it everywhere, good luck with yourself. He / she , is better off without you.

Narcissism has become the liberal bitch buzzword of the decade, which is to me ironic, since that is literally the only context in which a woman loves
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65249009
United States
11/17/2014 05:42 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Malignant, and in my experience ( though I was unable to read your nonsense story). People making assertions about narcissm I others are seriously afflicted with it themselves and come to see it everywhere, good luck with yourself. He / she , is better off without you.

Narcissism has become the liberal bitch buzzword of the decade, which is to me ironic, since that is literally the only context in which a woman loves
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65192729


Your response would seem to indicate that OP struck a nerve with you. "Mirror, mirror on the wall".
Anonymous Coward
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11/17/2014 06:13 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Sounds like you are madly in love with him. Been there...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40849151
United States
11/17/2014 06:24 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Malignant, and in my experience ( though I was unable to read your nonsense story). People making assertions about narcissm I others are seriously afflicted with it themselves and come to see it everywhere, good luck with yourself. He / she , is better off without you.

Narcissism has become the liberal bitch buzzword of the decade, which is to me ironic, since that is literally the only context in which a woman loves
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65192729


iamwith

An example of one.
They always shift the blame on to another even if they are caught red handed.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40849151
United States
11/17/2014 06:28 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
your attitude empowers him.
there are plenty of surveillance options out there,
why not just capture him doing something and then show him the reason you are ending the relationship.
you are not his helpless victim in this scenario, his kids are
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65136671


Probably not a good idea.When you show them proof it only infuriates them more.They hate you worse than before because you caught them so they begin working twice as hard to destroy you.
The only way is to distance yourself COMPLETELY.Move far enough away that you wont see the person and cut all contact.Dont fall for any sob story because they are roping you in to finish you off and maybe even kill you.
Their biggest thing is making others think everyone is crazy except them and they are good at it.
Anonymous Coward
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United States
11/17/2014 06:36 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
OP, no one will believe you, until you put hidden cameras out!!


I was married to a narcissist, he wasn't psychopathic, but he was an abusive narcissist!!!


Secretly film, and immediately get out!!


You'll need proof in case something bad happens to you and or you need an attorney!

When I was young, and on my own, I rented a room from an alcoholic that use to terrorize me, intimidate me, and scare the shit out of me, I got the fuck out of her nut case home!!!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40849151
United States
11/17/2014 06:44 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
OP, no one will believe you, until you put hidden cameras out!!


I was married to a narcissist, he wasn't psychopathic, but he was an abusive narcissist!!!


Secretly film, and immediately get out!!


You'll need proof in case something bad happens to you and or you need an attorney!

When I was young, and on my own, I rented a room from an alcoholic that use to terrorize me, intimidate me, and scare the shit out of me, I got the fuck out of her nut case home!!!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 20575401


That is a good idea but she doesnt need to let this person know she has the proof.That will put her in danger.Keep it somewhere in a safe place in case proof is ever needed.They will stop at nothing to cover their evil ways.Unless you have dealt with one it is hard to explain how evil a person like this is and what they are capable of.
sees

User ID: 48378990
United States
11/17/2014 06:45 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
your attitude empowers him.
there are plenty of surveillance options out there,
why not just capture him doing something and then show him the reason you are ending the relationship.
you are not his helpless victim in this scenario, his kids are
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65136671


Probably not a good idea.When you show them proof it only infuriates them more.They hate you worse than before because you caught them so they begin working twice as hard to destroy you.
The only way is to distance yourself COMPLETELY.Move far enough away that you wont see the person and cut all contact.Dont fall for any sob story because they are roping you in to finish you off and maybe even kill you.
Their biggest thing is making others think everyone is crazy except them and they are good at it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 40849151


Unfortunately I have an older sister who has done this to me all my life. I have cut off any contact with her for 5 years now and live all the way across the continent from her. And others do not see it, being completely mesmerized by her power and important position.

Completely cutting off any contact is the only solution.
sees
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65202803
United States
11/17/2014 06:45 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
tldr
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 40849151
United States
11/17/2014 06:54 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
your attitude empowers him.
there are plenty of surveillance options out there,
why not just capture him doing something and then show him the reason you are ending the relationship.
you are not his helpless victim in this scenario, his kids are
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65136671


Probably not a good idea.When you show them proof it only infuriates them more.They hate you worse than before because you caught them so they begin working twice as hard to destroy you.
The only way is to distance yourself COMPLETELY.Move far enough away that you wont see the person and cut all contact.Dont fall for any sob story because they are roping you in to finish you off and maybe even kill you.
Their biggest thing is making others think everyone is crazy except them and they are good at it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 40849151


Unfortunately I have an older sister who has done this to me all my life. I have cut off any contact with her for 5 years now and live all the way across the continent from her. And others do not see it, being completely mesmerized by her power and important position.

Completely cutting off any contact is the only solution.
 Quoting: sees


Strange..I have a younger brother that has done that to me his whole life.He has everyone he knows brainwashed too.Quiet successful because he has managed to steal everything that didnt belong to him but if you ask him he earned every cent...Sad how crazy he is but manages to convince people everyone else in the family is crazy.He always keeps his victims away for the rest of the family so they can never see whats actually going on.
WishinForTheMission

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11/17/2014 06:56 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Get proof, and simultaneously be silently making plans to get out!
~~Much Peace, Love, and Light~~Always
Concerning life and death: I embrace both equally!
natasha77

User ID: 25134862
United States
11/17/2014 06:58 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Op, you heard Rick Wiles today too?
I rather like the term "gaslighted" myself.
SPEAK UP. SILENCE IS DEADLY!

I am currently experiencing life at several WTFs per hour.
Thulsa

User ID: 61984016
United States
11/17/2014 07:00 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
I was thinking sadism by the time I got done reading this, not narcissism...

Run, OP, run!
There is nothing quite as compelling as a bad idea whose time has come...
Thulsa
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 65142850
United States
11/21/2014 07:05 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
I got my security camera setup last night. Turned it on before I left work and what do you think happened while I was at work?

Yep.


While I was at work, he opened the door and walked into the room. As soon as he looked at the camera hanging on the wall he new he was caught. Instead of leaving the room, he walked over to my pen caddy and picked around for a few seconds, then grabbed a pen and made sure it worked by scribbling on his hand. Then he left the room and put the towel carefully back under the back of the door that I had laid down.

After I came home from work I went into my room and checked the security footage and saw what had happened. Curious I went into the living room and checked THAT pen caddy, and LOL wouldn't you know, it was full of pens that WORKED. (SHOCK!)

then 15 minutes later he opened the door, put the pen back and closed the door and made sure to put the towel back behind it.

So you see, I proved that he did enter my room and once he saw the camera, pretended to causally look for a pen.

So later on I causally said to him "thanks for putting the pen back when were done with it" and he went silent.
Anonymous Coward
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11/21/2014 07:43 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Malignant, and in my experience ( though I was unable to read your nonsense story). People making assertions about narcissm I others are seriously afflicted with it themselves and come to see it everywhere, good luck with yourself. He / she , is better off without you.

Narcissism has become the liberal bitch buzzword of the decade, which is to me ironic, since that is literally the only context in which a woman loves
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65192729


Malignant, and in my experience ( though I was unable to read your nonsense story). People making assertions about narcissm I others are seriously afflicted with it themselves and come to see it everywhere, good luck with yourself. He / she , is better off without you.

Narcissism has become the liberal bitch buzzword of the decade, which is to me ironic, since that is literally the only context in which a woman loves
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65192729


You are incorrect. The op knows as do I that these dangerous people do exist. They drain the life force of others and sometimes it goes on so long that the victim goes mad from being tortured over and over again.
Read the Bible -- these people are possessed by the spirit of Jezzabel -- Jesus is the only cure for them, and the only peace and comfort for her victims. Prayer will definitely help, but you also most cut them out of your life. Blessingshf
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 65142850
United States
11/21/2014 07:56 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
This is interesting, he's been caught red handed and now he's feeling down and pitiful going on about how hard being a single father is, ect.

These people don't feel remorse or sorrow for getting caught, they only feel self-pity for getting caught and then it's a pity party and one excuse after another.

After asking him about it, now he says he needed a BLUE pen because black wasn't good enough?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65370988
United States
11/21/2014 08:52 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
This is interesting, he's been caught red handed and now he's feeling down and pitiful going on about how hard being a single father is, ect.

These people don't feel remorse or sorrow for getting caught, they only feel self-pity for getting caught and then it's a pity party and one excuse after another.

After asking him about it, now he says he needed a BLUE pen because black wasn't good enough?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65142850


OP LISTEN!!!

I am married to one. I left her over a year ago and I'm just now getting my sanity back.

She is dangerous!!!!

She is under investigation right now for arson, her arch enemy's home and vehicle got torched and they KNOW either she did it or she paid someone to do it.

Cut him loose, plan your escape well and breathe not a word of it until you are gone and safe.

Please take my word for this.... cut him off completely, you are NOT safe!!!

God Bless you
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65370988
United States
11/21/2014 08:54 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
This is interesting, he's been caught red handed and now he's feeling down and pitiful going on about how hard being a single father is, ect.

These people don't feel remorse or sorrow for getting caught, they only feel self-pity for getting caught and then it's a pity party and one excuse after another.

After asking him about it, now he says he needed a BLUE pen because black wasn't good enough?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65142850


OP LISTEN!!!

I am married to one. I left her over a year ago and I'm just now getting my sanity back.

She is dangerous!!!!

She is under investigation right now for arson, her arch enemy's home and vehicle got torched and they KNOW either she did it or she paid someone to do it.

Cut him loose, plan your escape well and breathe not a word of it until you are gone and safe.

Please take my word for this.... cut him off completely, you are NOT safe!!!

God Bless you
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65370988


one more thing..

When they say they will "get even" they MEAN it, it's not just words. Any perceived slight motivates them for revenge and when it comes you will not even know what you did to deserve it.

Again, God Bless you... my prayers are with you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 18170872
United States
11/21/2014 09:39 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
You should see a doctor I think your nuts!
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 3998821


OP, you're NOT nuts. I believe you. It's exactly like that with these people and they hide it well so you look like a nut. It's real and you CANNOT change it.

Turn around, you're on a dead-end road.
Anonymous Coward
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11/21/2014 09:43 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
you need to cut contact with him completely, or else you'll never get out of his web. once you become a prey to an NPD, you'll always be one
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63238319


And the passive-aggressive shit can't be stopped even by therapy.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 65142850
United States
11/21/2014 09:55 PM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Tell me. What does a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist do when they realize that you've "figured them out"? Do they resort to more mind games and manipulation?

What the actual fuck goes through their mind and is anyone else really to blame?
WishinForTheMission

User ID: 65300202
United States
11/22/2014 12:13 AM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Tell me. What does a psychopath/sociopath/narcissist do when they realize that you've "figured them out"? Do they resort to more mind games and manipulation?

What the actual fuck goes through their mind and is anyone else really to blame?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65142850


Just means that person (your roommate) is planning worse, more sinister things OUT of your camera range.

Be careful.
~~Much Peace, Love, and Light~~Always
Concerning life and death: I embrace both equally!
Joe in JT

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United States
11/22/2014 12:43 AM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Dude...listen to me. Quit being a fucking pussy and get rid of that guy. Why in the hell are you hanging out with someone who does all these things to you and your property. Get yourself a small studio apartment near your place of work and join a softball team or a bowling league. Just stay busy. With a studio apartment you can be BY YOURSELF most of the time. You never EVER let weird user type people into your life. You don't loan money, you don't give rides, you don't let anyone borrow tools, or your car...period. Most people use you. Most people only have an agenda. Once they get something out of you and use you they throw you away like a piece of trash. I have a neighbor like that. He borrowed my tire jack and returned his broken one to me. When I questioned him about the jerk wouldn't budge. These user people have no pride. I've since told him never ever to ask me for anything again.
Jo Jo
Anonymous Coward
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11/22/2014 12:50 AM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
This friend of mine, who I realize I'm not his friend, is a suspected maligned narcissist who I also overhear emotionally abusing his children.

What is a maligned narcissist? You don't want to find out! Because by the time you do, it's too late and you've already been manipulated, used, and discarded, left in a state of awe where you try to convince yourself "this person would NEVER do this to me..." and when they have been discovered they usually either go into a narcissistic rage, or they become devious/malevolent and do things to "get back at you" once the facade has been lifted and they are exposed. But this might actually be the psychopathic/sociopathic streak in them too.

These people would fuck you over in a heartbeat to get what they want.

And so, I realize that is what is happening to me BUT I HAVE NO PROOF. It is leaving me feel used, abused, and discarded which is the hallmark signs that you are a victim of a narcissistic abuser.

But one day everything clicks into place like a puzzle; the weird statements...the constant need for validation and praise...the "do it or else!" mindset they display when they want something, while pretend to be your friend, then when you give it to them they have had enough of you till the next time.

You would never know what malevolent evil someone has lurking inside them until you put yourself in a position of vulnerability and allow yourself to be fooled by them again and again.

These is some of the things that have happened to me and my stuff over the course of several years, and when I get done explaining all the details, it will just "make sense".

Ok, so let's start off by saying that this person whom I know has so many facets it's almost unimaginable.

Things started to go sour when I used to live with him. It was all Ok for a while but when he didn't get his way, I'd notice that things of mine went missing and I thought that they were taken by someone else. One time I had a removable window screen that I had bought and it went missing and he knew nothing about it until I saw it in the neighbor's window and I asked to get it back.

I'd notice little dings and dents in my car and I thought is was happening at work, until years later when the same things are starting to happen to a different car that I own. And when I mentioned it when he was around he asked me if I had lot's of enemies. When I said no he brushed off the notion that it was done purposely. You see, everything that has been damaged of mine was always some sort of accident or coincidence. I have my car keyed on all places and it's STILL happening when I'm not around. I also believe that he has taken the spare key to my car is sabotaging it on occasion when I'm away. Just today I opened my truck and found a portable candle which I KNOW FOR A FACT was not there awhile ago being that I cleaned every square inch of the trunk. But that might be a coincidence? Another time I found items in the car that were not there previously, and I know this for a fact.

A while ago I had a gallon jug of used motor oil in the truck and when I went to get it out a few days later, the lid was completely off and the whole thing was tipped upside down and empty. Now, if a jug were to tip over, wouldn't it be emptied just up until the mouth of the opening? What's wore is how he acts around me when this stuff is happening. He sees me cleaning out the truck and then tells me that he "just so happens" to have a bag of rags that he just so happened to make up a few days earlier just in case something like this were to happen. Tell me if that doesn't rub you the wrong way.

Why am I convinced that all this happened. Well, I just so happened to be looking around the apartment and found a spare key to another car of mine hidden on a mantlepiece that I had in an unlocked Sentry safe in my bedroom. WOW!

Get gets more bizarre than that and it would take ten pages to explain all of it. I noticed one day that a lot of the shirts in my closet had strange stains on them that I'm sure wasn't on them, or I would have thrown them out. A lot of these shirts have about 8-10 smaller splatter-like stains on the same location on everyone of the shirts. It is something I would have noticed at the time and there is no way it could be a coincidence. Were talking about 4-5 shirts. I washed everything and threw the ones away that couldn't be washed. Today I noticed another shirt with the same stain pattern (10 or so small splattered dots) that looked like someone masturbated on them, but my brain is stopping me from believing that it could possibly be that sick!)

I noticed that holes made from the butt of a gun started to appear on my ceiling a little at a time, and I notices gouge marks like someone had taken a sharp knife and gouged at the ceiling. One time he did it right in front of me, jammed the barrel of his gun into the ceiling and when we got into an argument he said it was just a cheap ceiling. ARE YOU SERIOUS? so he went into the bathroom and grabbed some toothpaste and went on about how that's how they fix holes in college dorms. A few months later I noticed a bigger hole in the same spot, like he had done it again.

So let's move on to other stuff. How about how he has more pictures of himself on his facebook wall than his children!
He has an obsessive personality whre he will get on a topic and not stop talking or thinking about it for hours or days. Everyone else around him notices it too. Whether it about gays, liberals, rapists, you name it. and then he will go on about how he is "saved" because he is a born again Christian yet all of this is a mask he is wearing to hide who he REALLY is inside, a sick, twisted egotistical narcissist who's wife left him for another man and his kids have to suffer for it.

He is living with me and his two children right now and when he first moved in, shit let me tell you story! He moved out of state about two years ago and always was asking if I'd move down there too; I could have my own place and be in the country, ect. So when a place opened up last year I mailed the landlord the security, rent and was all set to move in. Then a bout a week later he tells me that his wife is kicking him out and he wants to move in with me. At first I was hesitant but after he assured my he could blow his brains out if i didn't, I let him move in out of pity, and that's when the fun began. Even BEFORE his wife left him he went into self-centered selfish episodes (which are verified by several other people.

Now you think that since the lease, the rent, and all the utilities are in my name, that I would naturally be allowed to have the master bedroom. But oh no, it was unfair to him that *I* got the bigger room even though he didn't have a job or a car at the time and I was letting HIM move in. Then a few weeks after i moved in he said something strange

"how do you stand not having a smaller place for yourself?"

Wow..what this meant was he wanted to get me to move, but let him have the place for him and his kids AFTER I put the security deposit down? Really, you're going to be that self-centered tat you would use someone for your own interests and then discard them? THAT IS NARCISSISM.

A few weeks after that he was caught burning his wife's possessions, and he was caught when she came home early from work. He would refuse to watch his OWN children while she worked the weekends, claiming that the weekends were for his own enjoyment. WOW! What parent does that!?

So much more happened from then till now. He finally got a job, but instead of helping me out and contributing to the rent, he purchased a gun and then loaned money to the neighbor because he is a nice person?....oh hell no... I realize now that he was paying him off so that the neighbor would testify in his favor at the custody hearing after she left with the kids and he filed for divorce (you see, she was not allowed to file against him, only he could file against her, because he had no faults at all!)

She claims he is manipulative and emotionally abusive to the kids and I have proof.

He will occasionally tease his daughter until she cries, then he will call her a baby for crying, then apologize, and when the daughter does not accept his apology and show him grandiose affection (narcissistic supply), he will "discard" and punish her. When she voices her negative feelings at being picked on, he will dismiss her and say things like "I don't want to hear it!"

This is emotional abuse and I cannot describe the rage that flows through me when I hear it.
There is so many more little odd statements/occurrences that I cannot put a finger on but I know this, the gas lighting is real, and emotional abusive people, especially narcissistic individuals do it.

I'm at the point where I want this user/abuser out of my life for good. He is not a friend, he is a world in sheep's clothing. All the maligning of everyone else in the world, he cunning, sly deviousness is going to come to an and soon.

I'll leave you with a statement he made to me one time after I had to bent over backwards to "help
him get his kids back."

"If you fuck me over, I'll fuck YOU over".
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 65142850

this is mind warfare.this person is not 'fixated' on themselves,like a real narcissist.they are fixated on you.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 47484449
United States
11/22/2014 01:51 AM
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Re: I am beginning to realize I'm being gas lighted by a maligned narcissist pretending to be my friend
Passive Agressive along with some other serious mental illness.

Stay safe mentally ill people can become consuming on every level.





GLP