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If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper

 
eScrew
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User ID: 119837
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07/31/2006 04:27 PM
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If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
His teaching is more radical than anyone can handle. sheeplebah
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103782
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07/31/2006 04:31 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
Christ is not planning to return to THIS world.
eScrew (OP)

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07/31/2006 04:36 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
Why not?
Kay

User ID: 72054
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07/31/2006 04:48 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
LOL! it's really not all that difficult!



Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"


And this:


Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.


And this:


"I am the Good Shepherd. The sheep follow because they know his voice.

But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will run away from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice...

I have come that they may have life, and have it abundantly.

I am the Good Shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.

My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father's hand.

I and the Father are one."


===========


Oh yes, we will recognize Him immediately. We know His voice,

Another we will run from.
"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." (Colossians 2:8)
GOD FORSAKEN DISASTER
User ID: 124842
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07/31/2006 04:49 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
AGREED, IF THE MAN WERE HERE TODAY HE WOULD BE MORTIFIED BEYOND BELIEF,BECOMING TRULY SHOCKED AND DISMAYED AT THE COMPLETE AND TOTAL LACK OF QUALITY AMONGST THE MASSES NOW RUNNING AT TURBO POWER.
OVERWHELMED BY THEIR SHEER NUMBERS.EVERY GIRL DRESSING LIKE A STREET WALKER. EVERY SINGLE PERSON BUT FOUR OR FIVE HAVING MADE SOME RATIONALIZATION FOR THE SCUMBAL CIRCUS.
MOST LIKELY OUR CURRENT SCENE SHOULD BE 'GOD FORSAKEN' A STATE OF VERY VERY LOSTNESS. WHICH OF COURSE IT IS !!!
JESUS IS NOT AROUND CURRENTLY FOR THE SAME REASON JOHN LENNON WAS NOT AROUND FOR THE EIGHTIES AND NINTIES,BECAUSE THEY SIMPLY DONT GO TOGETHER.
TaRim

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07/31/2006 04:51 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
Actualy he is back,but looked around and decided to get drunk
All events are empty by virtue of their empty essence;
All events are immaculately pure in their origin;
All events are all-embracing clear light;
All events transcend suffering spontaneously;
All events are manifestly perfect Buddhahood.
Anonymous Coward
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07/31/2006 04:54 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
Oh yes, we will recognize Him immediately. We know His voice,
 Quoting: Kay

His voice has already been missed.
slightly retarded republican
User ID: 124848
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07/31/2006 04:55 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
The fundamentalist christians would come to the conclusion that he is a poorly dressed hippy commie imposter and a threat to fundamental christian values and world order.
Anonymous Coward
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07/31/2006 04:57 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
The fundamentalist christians would come to the conclusion that he is a poorly dressed hippy commie imposter and a threat to fundamental christian values and world order.
 Quoting: slightly retarded republican 124848



Yes.
SquirrelMonkey

User ID: 113151
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07/31/2006 04:57 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
The fundamentalist christians would come to the conclusion that he is a poorly dressed hippy commie imposter and a threat to fundamental christian values and world order.
 Quoting: slightly retarded republican 124848


You said it!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 124388
Italy
07/31/2006 04:59 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
I think he would be not very pleased, babylon never has been so real then in these times we live.
Anonymous Coward
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07/31/2006 05:00 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
He'd get an all expenses paid vacation in Guantanamo Bay.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 124388
Italy
07/31/2006 05:00 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
The fundamentalist christians would come to the conclusion that he is a poorly dressed hippy commie imposter and a threat to fundamental christian values and world order.
 Quoting: slightly retarded republican 124848


they will play the role played by the jews 2006 years ago, I fear he will end killed again.
Anonymous Coward
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07/31/2006 05:03 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
first time the lamb

second time the lion


could osama be the jesus no one recognizes?

i mean christians are totally wacked no days with their idols and hypocracy
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 103782
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07/31/2006 05:04 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
What was wrong with the way He did it the first time?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 124728
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07/31/2006 05:05 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
could osama be the jesus no one recognizes?


 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 124852

um no
Kay

User ID: 72054
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07/31/2006 05:07 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
Oh yes, we will recognize Him immediately. We know His voice,

His voice has already been missed.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 124717



I will believe Jesus over you.

He said, 'my sheep hear my voice and will not follow another..'

and 'no one can snatch them out of my hand.'

So, I put my trust in Him, my faith in Jesus Christ.
"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." (Colossians 2:8)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 124846
Croatia
07/31/2006 05:07 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
evangelicals want to take over the world for christ
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 114312

Sure. Take over.

That's all about pope
Kay

User ID: 72054
United States
07/31/2006 05:08 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
why is everyone blaming fundamentalist bible believers for what evangelicals do?

fundamentalists are pietists and not political
evangelicals want to take over the world for christ
at least get your labels correct
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 114312



Evangelicals are fundamentalists.
"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." (Colossians 2:8)
slightly retarded republican
User ID: 124848
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07/31/2006 05:08 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
Labels? It's funny how you pointed out one label in my post, as I used many that are used quite frequently here at GLP.

But now that you asked why, it's simple to answer: the evangelicals, as you call them, have a tremendous amount of disposable income and access to the "liberal" media in which they can purchase air time to paint themselves in any light they choose and wrap themselves in a label most appropriate. So unless the real christians have colored shoelaces distinguishing themselves from the fake christians, then you are all lumped together, unless you christians muster up enough balls and clean up your mess and out the charlatans.
Anonymous Coward
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07/31/2006 05:08 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
he could be a homeless person for all you know
Kay

User ID: 72054
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07/31/2006 05:09 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
kay, why did you drop the WCC thing?

after all
you challenged me
and now when
i answer you
you drop it
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 114312



I would LOVE to talk about it. Isn't it on the antichrist thread?
"See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ." (Colossians 2:8)
Merkaba

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07/31/2006 05:11 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
His little brother is already here.

dubya
"The individual is handicapped by coming face to face with a conspiracy so monstrous he cannot believe it exists." -- J. Edgar Hoover
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 124846
Croatia
07/31/2006 05:13 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
i think you mean evangelicals
fundamentalists actually believe in Jesus


The fundamentalist christians would come to the conclusion that he is a poorly dressed hippy commie imposter and a threat to fundamental christian values and world order.

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 114312

People stuck in rigidly left-brained, literal thinking can render even the most mystical religion into dogma. Thus, fundamentalism. Fundamentalism can happen to any religion, but monotheism seems especially susceptible to it. And at the moment Muslim and Christian fundamentalists have gone way beyond the nuisance stage and present a genuine threat to civilization on this planet. But the fault for this lies in the corruption of religion, not in religion itself.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 124846
Croatia
07/31/2006 05:16 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
114312 dubya
ne1

User ID: 79810
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07/31/2006 05:32 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
so this locking up or death by sniper would be another act of compassion to "save" us??? (trying to follow christian logic)
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.

Mark Twain
Came like a Lamb, now like a L
User ID: 10344
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07/31/2006 06:04 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
"Ye, I say unto thee. Thou hast tried to shoot me with a Barrett Light 50 sniper rifle. Forgiveness in Heaven is the gift of my Father to thee.
However...thou hath missed. It's now time for me to go Biblical on your ass. Time for you to pass loaves and fishes rectually...without lubrication. I shall throw your family pearls before swine. And ye know that thee are fortuneate that I shall remove them before doing this. A gift of mercy unto thee. Three days on a cross in the hot sun, forsaken and stabbed for the effort of taking the world on my shoulders and thou hast believed that your gun shalt harm me? Nay. Mistaken art thee. I would offer my foot to thee for thee to wash if it wasn't currently protruding from your posterior. Verily I say unto thee...if thou desirest more, come get some."

Jesus "Book of Amargeddon Battle, Third Edition, ch. 6, pg 179"
SH_y_MF's
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07/31/2006 06:07 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
OP - Just in response for your he would get killed: Surely not - cause he got the power of God - he can kick any AngelShit or HumanShit.
A friend of Jesus'
User ID: 124717
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07/31/2006 07:22 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
When you leave 'christians' in a 'room' by themselves with no unbelievers about it is like leaving catfish in a cage without food or bait...they attack and eat each other.

Most ignore the inconsistancies in the bible and their own and everybody else's inner truth to preach a book that was meant to lead True children of the Light astray.

While there was and is a Jesus, most of the things attributed to him including founding a church and asking others to teach his teachings that they don't even understand themselves is spurious.

They did not for the most part hear his voice or understand his words when he was alive or after his death...few...very few will recognize..have recognized him today...they are so stuck in their 'beliefs'

The straight and narrow is not just what one 'does' but being willing to change who they are, what they believe in the search for Truth.
There are few 'christians ' here with an open mind, they have 'closed the book on 'God' and they no longer searh.

They may think they will recognize Jesus, but Jesus does not 'recognize' christianity.
caliboy14
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07/31/2006 08:58 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
you are all incompatant bible smashers. we dont have to recongnize him he'll know who we are and take us with him to heaven and you will all stay for the tribulations. o and go fuck yourself
Kay
User ID: 72054
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07/31/2006 09:26 PM
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Re: If Jesus returns nobody will recognize him and he will be locked in mental hospital or shot by sniper
i think you mean evangelicals
fundamentalists actually believe in Jesus


The fundamentalist christians would come to the conclusion that he is a poorly dressed hippy commie imposter and a threat to fundamental christian values and world order.


People stuck in rigidly left-brained, literal thinking can render even the most mystical religion into dogma. Thus, fundamentalism.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 124846



This has to be the most illogical statement I have read in a very long time.

Fundamentalism is the OPPOSITE of dogmatism.

The are antonyms. That means opposites.

Someone who is a fundamentalist clings to the 'fundamentals'. Everything else is interpreted on an individual basis and not by a church or teacher. There are no rules to live by.

Someone who is a dogmatist, adds interpretation, adds extra ideas, tries to dictate daily life. It would be someone who wants direction all the time - needs rules to live by.

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