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12am

 
TheWind
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User ID: 85587
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08/10/2006 12:00 AM
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12am
12am
Do what LOVE would do Always!
(("Divine creator, father, mother, son as one ... If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness ...

Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies to pure light ... And it is done."


Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, Kahuna
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08/10/2006 12:01 AM

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Re: 12am
sherlock
TheWind (OP)

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08/10/2006 12:03 AM
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Re: 12am
It's Not Easy Being Jewish.

Three ministers, an Irish Priest, a Southern Baptist, and a Rabbi, would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.

One day, the comment was made that preaching to people isn't really that hard but that preaching to a bear would be a real challenge.

Well, one thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.

Seven days later, they met in the hospital to discuss the experience.

Father O'Flannery shows up with various bandages on, his arm in a sling and on crutches. He is the first to describe his experience with preaching to a bear.

"Welllll," he says, in his fine Irish brogue, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him, Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Well, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot.

So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next from his wheelchair. He had an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he recounted his story.

"WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a right big baar. An I began to read him from God's HOOOOULY WORD! But that baar wanted nuttin to do wit me. I SAY NO! He wanted nuttin to do wit me. So I took hold o him and we commensed to wrassle.

We wrassled down one hill, UP tuther and DOWN agin, til we come to a crick. I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jis like you sez, he wuz geentle as a lamb. We spent nigh goin on a week in fellership, feasting on God's HOOOOULY word."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in the hospital bed. He was in a full body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi musters all of his strength to explain.

"Well friends, the preaching part was easy, but the bear got a bit touchy about the circumcision."
Do what LOVE would do Always!
(("Divine creator, father, mother, son as one ... If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness ...

Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies to pure light ... And it is done."


Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, Kahuna
TheWind (OP)

User ID: 85587
United States
08/10/2006 12:19 AM
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Re: 12am
A man walked to the top of a hill to talk to God. The man asked, "God, what's a million years to you?" And God said "A minute." Then the man asked: "Well, what's a million dollars to you?" and God said: "A penny." Then the man asked: "God.....can I have a penny?" And God said: "Sure.....In a minute."
Do what LOVE would do Always!
(("Divine creator, father, mother, son as one ... If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness ...

Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies to pure light ... And it is done."


Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, Kahuna
HEART
User ID: 128986
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08/10/2006 12:20 AM
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Re: 12am
"Do what LOVE would do Always!
(("Divine creator, father, mother, son as one ... If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness ...

Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies to pure light ... And it is done."

rose...And So It Is
TheWind (OP)

User ID: 85587
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08/10/2006 12:47 AM
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Re: 12am
A man was invited to a friend's home for dinner, where he noticed that his buddy preceded every request to his wife with endearing terms, calling her Honey, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. He was impressed, since the couple had been married almost 70 years. While the wife was in the kitchen, he said, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years, you still call your wife those pet names." His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about 10 years ago."
Do what LOVE would do Always!
(("Divine creator, father, mother, son as one ... If I, my family, relatives and ancestors have offended you, your family, relatives and ancestors in thoughts, words, deeds and actions from the beginning of our creation to the present, we ask your forgiveness ...

Let this cleanse, purify, release, cut all the negative memories, blocks, energies and vibrations and transmute these unwanted energies to pure light ... And it is done."


Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona, Kahuna

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