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I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?

 
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2015 02:09 PM
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I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
I don't believe in the "legal system" (it's not a "justice system", there is no justice in it).

So, I don't want to be a part of it.

Would like to just be honest and tell the judge that, but I'd just get jailed for "contempt of court."
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2015 02:11 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
tell them you read they are threatening people to ensure "guilty" votes and you are in fear for your life
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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02/06/2015 02:12 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
tell them you read they are threatening people to ensure "guilty" votes and you are in fear for your life
 Quoting: Boris the Cat


do they do that? Wouldn't surprise me much -- I've heard federal juries have a 97% conviction rate. I'll bet if someone voted "not guilty" they would find some way to make that person's life hell ...
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63214768
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02/06/2015 02:14 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
ignore it. they aren't sent certified, so there is no way they know if you received it or not.
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2015 02:14 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
tell them you read they are threatening people to ensure "guilty" votes and you are in fear for your life
 Quoting: Boris the Cat


do they do that? Wouldn't surprise me much -- I've heard federal juries have a 97% conviction rate. I'll bet if someone voted "not guilty" they would find some way to make that person's life hell ...
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63527332


google it, then get out of it if you have moral values
wlmgsmn

User ID: 65268336
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02/06/2015 02:15 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
tell them you already heard of the case and you know he or she is guilty without even needing to see the proof, then tell them heck I don't even know why there will be a trail he or she is quilty but if you need me to tell te jury this sure ill serve. they wont pick you

Last Edited by wlmgsmn on 02/06/2015 02:17 PM
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 63527332
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02/06/2015 02:16 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
ignore it. they aren't sent certified, so there is no way they know if you received it or not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63214768


yes, but I'm sure they send out US Marshalls every now and then to round up people who don't show up -- even though there is no proof if they received the summons or not ...

Guilty until proven innocent ...
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2015 02:17 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
ignore it. they aren't sent certified, so there is no way they know if you received it or not.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63214768


This, I have received a couple of them years ago and never responded at all.

I haven't received another one since.
Jeffersons Blackberry

User ID: 51105454
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02/06/2015 02:18 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
Tell them you see dead people. damned
“To compel a man to furnish funds for the propagation of ideas he disbelieves and abhors is sinful and tyrannical.”; Thomas Jefferson
#forgiven.

User ID: 8621069
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02/06/2015 02:18 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
Tell them that you can tell if someone is guilty or not just by looking at them.. it works!
#forgiven.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 66319610
Moldova
02/06/2015 02:20 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
Show up in a suit and tie and looking and sounding as intelligent as possible.

Sure way to get dismissed. Worked every time for me.

They don't want anyone on jury duty with any smarts.
docsquat

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02/06/2015 02:25 PM

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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
This is your chance to fight the beast. Go willingly and study up on Jury Nullification before you do.
Purity of Essence
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 61179557
United States
02/06/2015 02:26 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
This is your chance to fight the beast. Go willingly and study up on Jury Nullification before you do.
 Quoting: docsquat


dangerous as all get out on a fed jury
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 65516403
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02/06/2015 02:30 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
Claim you haven't been vaccinated for Measles, then throw a tantrum and start pulling your hair out.

Apparently, that works pretty well.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 56215584
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02/06/2015 02:30 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
I don't believe in the "legal system" (it's not a "justice system", there is no justice in it).

So, I don't want to be a part of it.

Would like to just be honest and tell the judge that, but I'd just get jailed for "contempt of court."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63527332







The justice comes from the jurors so not being part of the jury system makes YOU the unjust one! YOU are the one who's fucking it up by not participating!!!!!!!!

Juries ALWAYS have the right to refuse the orders of the court and vote on what they feel is correct and just.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 56766085
United Kingdom
02/06/2015 02:34 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
I don't believe in the "legal system" (it's not a "justice system", there is no justice in it).

So, I don't want to be a part of it.

Would like to just be honest and tell the judge that, but I'd just get jailed for "contempt of court."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63527332


When being quizzed by the "officers of the court" ask the Judge to explain "Jury Nullification" under Common Law.

It is your right as a juror to give a "Not Guilty" verdict for any reason at all. You can judge the Law itself, and find it to be "an ass."

butt

You will be back on the street outside the court-house in a New York second, if you try this gambit!
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1068189
United States
02/06/2015 02:38 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
If the defendant is black then explain the statistics of the prison population being 85% black and say as far as you're concerned he could be targeted and set up solely based on genetics.

It worked for me.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 22241886
United States
02/06/2015 02:40 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
Use a religious exemption and you'll be fine. Tell them you are not allowed to judge Man, because that's what God does. Remind them that the devil offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the planet if he would worship him- let them know they work for the devil and you are not able to partake.

I've yet to meet a government worker that DOESN'T know they work for the devil. You have to worship the devil to even get a government job.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 56766085
United Kingdom
02/06/2015 02:41 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
You could also ask the Judge if the case is being tried under Common Law and if not, what legal system is being used.

Almost all courts in the Anglosphere use Statute and Admiralty Law, rather than Common Law, as they should.

damned
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1161991
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02/06/2015 02:41 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
It is simply a matter of telling the truth. Tell them you are NOT a United States citizen. Whoever told you you are one? A lot of people believe they are US citizens, that is part of the fraud. You are a citizen of the State you live in (unless you live in D.C).
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 56766085
United Kingdom
02/06/2015 02:42 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
Use a religious exemption and you'll be fine. Tell them you are not allowed to judge Man, because that's what God does. Remind them that the devil offered Jesus all the kingdoms of the planet if he would worship him- let them know they work for the devil and you are not able to partake.

I've yet to meet a government worker that DOESN'T know they work for the devil. You have to worship the devil to even get a government job.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 22241886


.gov lackeys at worship ---> worshipworshipworshipdevil6

screamahhh
Anonymous Coward
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02/06/2015 02:42 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
No Habla....
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1068189
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02/06/2015 02:43 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
I don't believe in the "legal system" (it's not a "justice system", there is no justice in it).

So, I don't want to be a part of it.

Would like to just be honest and tell the judge that, but I'd just get jailed for "contempt of court."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63527332







The justice comes from the jurors so not being part of the jury system makes YOU the unjust one! YOU are the one who's fucking it up by not participating!!!!!!!!

Juries ALWAYS have the right to refuse the orders of the court and vote on what they feel is correct and just.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56215584


Someone that doesn't wanna be there is most likely not gonna wanna thoroughly weight the credibility of all the evidence in an unbiased manner and will likely do an injustice to the defendent.

They'll agree to anything so they can spend as little time as possible in court. If I requested a jury trial I'd only want people who were happy to be there.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 56766085
United Kingdom
02/06/2015 02:45 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
It is simply a matter of telling the truth. Tell them you are NOT a United States citizen. Whoever told you you are one? A lot of people believe they are US citizens, that is part of the fraud. You are a citizen of the State you live in (unless you live in D.C).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1161991


I wouldn't do this.

You don't want to be "clever" when confronted by lawyers and judges, or your ass will be subject to arbitrary "contempt" penalties.

Stick to asking for clarification about Jury Nullification.

The "legal profession" absolutely hates that phrase, and it will get you dismissed post-haste.
Judethz

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02/06/2015 02:49 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
I don't believe in the "legal system" (it's not a "justice system", there is no justice in it).

So, I don't want to be a part of it.

Would like to just be honest and tell the judge that, but I'd just get jailed for "contempt of court."
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63527332

7491t9 Appear in casual clothing. Or...pimp Or...bluewings Or...girldesert
I HAVE QUESTIONS

User ID: 65158463
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02/06/2015 02:50 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
tell them you can spot a guilty person by the way they look.
illumination



"peanut butter jelly time!! peanut butter jelly time!! peanut butter jelly time!!"
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1161991
United States
02/06/2015 02:51 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
It is simply a matter of telling the truth. Tell them you are NOT a United States citizen. Whoever told you you are one? A lot of people believe they are US citizens, that is part of the fraud. You are a citizen of the State you live in (unless you live in D.C).
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 1161991


I wouldn't do this.

You don't want to be "clever" when confronted by lawyers and judges, or your ass will be subject to arbitrary "contempt" penalties.

Stick to asking for clarification about Jury Nullification.

The "legal profession" absolutely hates that phrase, and it will get you dismissed post-haste.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 56766085


So you say he should LIE and say he is a US citizen, even though he isn't?
I HAVE QUESTIONS

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02/06/2015 02:52 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
This is your chance to fight the beast. Go willingly and study up on Jury Nullification before you do.
 Quoting: docsquat


dangerous as all get out on a fed jury
 Quoting: Boris the Cat


why?
illumination



"peanut butter jelly time!! peanut butter jelly time!! peanut butter jelly time!!"
Uncle Fuck Stick

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02/06/2015 02:53 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63527332



Elmo


Or you could join the fucking military
:4hlick:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 61179557
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02/06/2015 02:57 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
This is your chance to fight the beast. Go willingly and study up on Jury Nullification before you do.
 Quoting: docsquat


dangerous as all get out on a fed jury
 Quoting: Boris the Cat


why?
 Quoting: I HAVE QUESTIONS


google it, overwhelming resources isn't the only way the feds get 97% conviction
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 48024124
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02/06/2015 02:57 PM
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Re: I Got a Federal Jury Duty Summons! Anyone Know a Good Way to Get Out of It ?
THROW THAT SHIT IN THE GARBAGE





GLP