Tazers and stupid people!

That actually made me laugh, thanks!

Flopping like a fish.

Happy April Fools! Tazers ARE lethal!

Amazing footage!

I needed a good laugh

Oh god lol

I once dated a young lady who was a factory rep. for taser inc.

She was stunning....

Peanuts can be lethal!

:sohigh87235t:

What were the people in the background doing?? Is that her baby?

Last Edited by Sleeping Giant on 04/01/2015 08:25 PM

The person sleeping in the bed didn't even get to see it.

Knew that wasn't going to end well. LMAO!

It would have been even funnier if he had a heart condition and it killed him...

LMAO!

The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000- volt, pocket/purse- sized taser.
The effects of the taser were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.

Nothing!

I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?

There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul)while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.

I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and taser in another.

The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy,bitsy AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no possible way!'

What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best ...

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head ****** to one side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ...

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD .. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE ....!!!

I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!

The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a taser, one note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor!
A three second burst would be considered conservative!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape.

My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
P.s... My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift and now regularly threatens me with it!

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Ok that really made me laugh!

I just purchased my first tazer. It is scary and my cat wasn't to impressed when I tested it out. It made him jump and he knocked over his food. Anyhow I'm more curious as to why his cousin was motor boating that girl with him in the room.

The nagger didn't know that metal conducts electricity.

He needs to take electricity 101 classes

Brain damage on his part for holding the metal and tazering it.

Future Darwin award winner if he messes with high voltage lines with a piece of metal holding it.


S T U P I D I D I O T ! ! ! ! ! !

What was wrong with the two in the back?

I do not think that nagger had any intelligence whatsoever.
Apes gonna go ape. You can take an ape out of the ghetto but you can never take the ghetto out of an ape.

What a dumbass.

Wtf was going on on the background?

I'm pretty sure the dude was breast feeding in the background. The idiot with the tazer well that is a whole other level of stupid.

But you get what you deserve and then some. Funny because it wasn't me.

can we get a gif of that?

did he shit himself?

Yes we need a gif of that shit right there.

This one is more right on:

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