Help with grief...

I am so blessed and I am so so sorry for yours and your sons loss. You must be a very brave lady to lose your husband and then raise your son without him.. Thank you so much for sharing that and for your advice. Wishing you and your son all the best x

I will. Thank you so much

Yes, so many people must be going through the same. I'm so sorry your Mum is unwell, she must be so grateful And happy that you are there. Stay strong and cherish your time with her.

Oh, honey, we all grieve for our loved ones! My ten year old just lost his daddy to suicide on Thursday. We understand your pain!

Know that we all have to die so that we can live forever with our wonderful God. He designed us to die. Your daddy is free. We will never get over missing them entirely, but time does make it better. It's not such a raw pain with time.

My best friend died last year. I still want to call her with things. I miss her voice, I miss her laugh, her sense of humor, but I know that one day I'm gonna reunite with her cute little ass and party like its 1999!

Death is difficult. We are selfish, lol, all of us! We don't want to be without our loved ones on earth. It sucks. But it does get easier. promise.

Lots of love and prayers sent your way!!!!


*Edited for spelling

Last Edited by StormeyGoddess on 04/26/2015 11:38 PM

Thank you.. I don't feel brave at all :(
I have such a lovely family but I find it hard to talk to them because my Mums side just aren't the open talking kind of people.. The person I spoke to about things like this was my Dad :( .. I miss that also. He was my confidant and he understood me. I find it so much easier talking on here than I ever would my family. It's quite strange really.

I'm so sorry about your husband and those sound like lovely things to do, especially learning to do things he loved to do. My dad was a paramedic so not sure i could learn that but he also loved music so much and I find listening to his favourite songs brings me some comfort. Especially this one song he would listen to after a few drinks and he would play the air guitar.. That makes me smile. Thank you so much for your advice and it's nice to hear from someone who's experienced this and come through the other side so to speak. Wishing you well too.

I will definitely start to write things down as this seems to be one of the main things people are saying. It is definitely a rollercoaster. Some days I feel okay, they are few and far between but they feel nice because I forgot how I felt as a person in general before he died. I just hope one day I can remember him but also not feel so lost and heartbroken. Thank you for your beautiful words

I'm so sorry you're going through this too. Please stay strong and try and take some comfort from everyone's advice because it really is so helpful.

I'm so sorry you went through that. Yes that's what I was doing.. Keeping it all inside but even this thread has helped me so much and made me feel a little better. Your advice is appreciated and I will take it all on board. Thank you so much

Thank you

I hope so. Thank you so much x

I was much older than you when I lost my father and it still hurts. His birthday was 2 days ago and I can't call him to wish him a happy birthday, or just call to talk. The only thing I can tell you is that it will get better as time goes on. Just do the best you can in life and honor him with your life. I too, believe that we will see our loved ones again. We have to go on, so even if it just feels like going through the motions, you have to.

You sound like an amazing Dad also. Thank you so much for your beautiful words.. They really touched me. Your daughter is very lucky to have you. You're right, he would want that.

I'm so sorry you lost your dad so young. Thank you for your advice

Thank you so much.. He would want me to be happy. I just hope I can learn to be happy again.

We buried our 21-year- old son in 2013. Every day is still so hard.

I think that's so true about the pain being individual to each person because sometimes I feel angry that other family members don't seem to be missing him, but everyone copes differently you are so right, although in my dark moments it's so hard to think rationally. He really did make me feel safe, he was such a loving, cuddly, over protective dad. I was so thankful to be there with him when he died because he asked me too and I didn't want him to feel alone.. But in the moment I panicked and I had to be calmed down but I managed to compose myself so that it was peaceful and I held his hand and cupped his face and told him it was okay and we would be okay and it was time to leave the broken down vehicle he called his body and be free and out of pain.. But his eyes weren't how they were normally, they were so wide that it scared me and it's an image and memory I can't get rid of.. And it scares me so much sometimes I can't be in the dark or I have nightmares about it :( I think it's even harder to accept he's gone because he didn't accept he was dying himself and he cried and cried about it.. He didn't want to die. That tortures me. Sorry to ramble on and on about such personal things but I haven't ever got this off my chest and I need too :( thank you so much x

I hope so. Thank you so much

It is all so different. Everything feels different. I feel lost. I feel alone. I think that's the biggest thing. I feel so so alone.. Because I can't explain how I feel inside, although others go through it, it just doesn't feel the same if that makes sense. Thank you so much x

It doesn't go away, but it does get better.

That exact thing was wrote in a frame outside my dad's room at the hospice. They are beautiful words! Thank you x

This made me smile but unfortunately I have two cats that I love so much. I wonder if they would accept a dog? Thank you

Sorry for your loss and you sound a bit hard on yourself I don't think you are being selfish. In this case it's a difficult loss. Grief is one of the most difficult things in the world to face. I know you must miss him and that it's hard. All I can do is sympathize with your loss and encourage you to be strong cause I know there is no easy way to deal with it.

Oh I am so sorry for yours and your sons loss.. That is truly an awful thing. I am thinking of your family right now and thank you for taking time to write to me whilst going through such a devastating time. I hope he really is free and happy. If I knew that 100% it would make it so much easier to deal with. Sorry about your best friend too.. That made me laugh about partying like its 1999 so thank you for that!

Funny you say that, I was thinking about my cat earlier. The little fella would follow me everyplace, he'd even wait at the bus stop for me when school let out and walk home with me. Cats can be of benefit while the ac works through this.

I feel bad but...I simply don't believe your story.

'Feels' corny and fake.

Sorry
:(

So sorry for your loss.. Birthdays must be difficult. My dad's birthday is the same week as Father's Day.. I haven't been through that yet but it's coming up and I'm dreading it. It really is the small things like talking to him or getting his advice that I miss so much. Especially his cuddles. I really hope I will see him again.. I'm not sure what I believe but I definitely believe in something past this life, I just hope he is free and happy. Thank you so much

I was in the exact same boat you are in, at a younger age. I'll tell you what I know and what I experienced.

It takes time ..... a long time. For me it took about 3 years until I realized I fully got a handle of what occurred and a handle on my emotions over the passing. But you never stop missing someone. Its been more than 20 years for me now, and I still think about him, and miss him. And I also can look back now and realize how difficult it actually was, and how sad I really was without fully knowing it or seeing it.

My one major piece of advice to you is to not let this get in the way of your life. Dont let it stop you from moving forward with your life. Dont stop living or enjoying life because of it. I made the big mistake of shutting down and putting life on hold because of it, and that was a huge mistake. So dont feel guilty about wanting to be happy, or being happy and joyous. And if you feel sad and miss him, thats okay too. Dont supress those feelings either. You're supposed to feel sad and miss him, its totally normal. Dont expect to not miss him as time goes on, thats totally unrealistic too.

From the moment your father got sick and passed away is the moment your life stopped being the same. So dont chase that "sameness" dont strive to replicate what you had before then, and what you felt before then. Because it wont ever be the same. Embrace the change. Accept the change. And move forward with your life. Strive and reach for your goals in life and do what you want and become what you want ..... because thats what your dad would have wanted, whether he is here or not.

I am so so sorry.. Everyone says there is no pain like losing a child. I can't imagine feeling worse than how I feel.. It must be so difficult. X

Hang in there, kiddo.