I'm really pissed off at life about to drink a 32 oz of malt liqour, who cares if I am some powerful sorcerer?

you can, ive lived that. i've allowed it back into my perception to give my ego time to process everything that happened to me within the first two years of being dedicated to my god.... i swear... in situations like the OP is talking about, its like your a 32 bit computer trying to upload a terabytes worth of information written in 64 bit. if decompression means self medication, so be it. at least that's what my god told me.

It is either that, or blow out my eardrums. I almost did that the other day. It was fun.

A better alternative to all this noise. Or so it seemed at the time.

It just hurts now... lol

I'm so lost... But I feel invincible. I just don't care. I am ready to die. I am just here to protect others.

beautiful introspection my friend.

You must have had a hard life.

Not ashamed to admit i care too.

Perhaps you are going through a "dark night of the soul" OP. Do not despair, you are here for a reason ; perhaps this negativity is a sign of spiritual evolution, of beginning to perceive the deep depths of the true dark nature of "the matrix" ?

then there's the reason you chose your path right there, and the reason you should never fear your god

I just have to realize that nothing helps...

Is there a "dark decade" of the soul?

tough love:

you keep yourself spiraling on this negative feedback loop, nothing will. there's others out there... but right now they are few and far between. we have entered a new age... there will always be hiccups and problems and troubles when something new gets moving

Maybe I'm wrong but I don't feel like the exchange between us is fair. My god doesn't give a shit... lol

do some reading on kundalini. trust me, it will help.

then why follow?

I guess I just drew a short straw...

OP, have you ever smoked yourself sober? Lol. That's when you know you're living the life.

I've lived on 50 cents a day and I've lived on a grand a day.

The latter was one of the worst points in my life. Money and success are irrelevant.

Any negativity is because you are consuming alcohol and smoking...the spirit world does not like to connect with this activity. Meditation also amplifies without substances but sometimes it is hard to go through life without them.

Wait was the sorcerer part?

I am thinking its about time to use you powerful sorcerer skills.
wait...

I figured it out, your the kid that he tricked.
You wanted to be taller and he made it so.
Now you old and weak.
Next time read the fine print...

pwerful sorcwrer??? cults are bad for your health

he just needed someone to talk to

32oz? Move out of Florida if that's where u live