I never a clicked a JADE HELM thread, plz explain for dummies

Nah, its about an OC D poster who never sleeps and who thinks the boogie man lives intermittently in ice cream vans which have guillotines in them and then they morph into da vinci paintings disguised as "lovely theosophists"


Sypmtoms include making narcissistic threads with no plausible credence and scaring the bejeezus out of jaded Christians, hence the jade, and she rubs her butt on th e carpet, hence the helm


You are welcome.

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[link to youtu.be (secure)]

ones the barrys speeches should be edited between the bleating.

exactly my thoughts

anyone to spill the beans about this jade helm thing or nobody actually knows shit about it?

looks legit

Anyone else?
There are just too many threads about this saying all different things.
I don't know where to start

its self explanatory. it is a jade helm, an item made of jade that is used to protect your head. all the cool kids are wearing them.

I wear the far superior tin foil hat thank you very much! Well actually it's aluminum.

Wow I thought I'd look stupid asking this but my question is actually legit it seems ;)

So far the most elaborate answer is that it's a super smart killer robot that knows all of my favorite porn habits.
No link to support this quite far fetched theory so...anyone else?

I believe jade beats aluminium foil

ALL FUCKING SHILLS MUST FUCKING HANG!

walmart is using blue bell ice cream trucks to abduct us and harvest the quartz crystals in our pineal glands. only the jade helm can save you.

So then, only ice cream loving men are at risk. Maybe condoms can save them!

:zuzudontgetmad:

who needs to be saved from free ice cream? who gives a shit if it has listeria.. its free.
i heard they will have free kool aid too. i hope its grape.

Yes, grape! Just ignore the slight bitter after taste, it's nothing to worry about.

Actually.....later this month, a new fashion craze is going to be marketed to the masses with subliminal advertising so that everyone MUST have one........

It's going to be crazier than taking the shopping frenzy of the original cabbage patch kids, furbies, new harry potter book release dates, air jordans, premiere star wars tickets and rolling them all into one on Black Friday.

....'Green Hats'.....don't know why, but the color will be to symbolize something that the sheeple with fight to the death over to be able to buy one before the 4th of July.

The military is being pre-positioned to protect the distribution centers (the closed walmarts will be like Amazon stock warehouses, only full of the must-have Green hats)

...Green hats.....'Jade Helm'...

ill make sure everybody gets theirs first, if anyone will do without its going to be me... because i am a nice guy like that.

It's nothing. A non-event. Go back to sleep.