Which books that you've read have the most awesomest opening sentence or paragraph?

The Starfish by Anal Fisher.
"Well maybe this story will help some of you with a dirty ass. Anyway, this story began about 20 years ago when I used to drive 2 hours to get home from work. I used to use toilet paper. But it tore up my ass. Plus sitting in a car for 2 hours contributes to roids and anal fissures. So one day when I was at the doctors office I stopped this young good looking male doctor in the hall. I told him my story and he looked at me, like he thought I was Gay. I'm not. I only look at hetero-sexual porn. Anyway, he said in a quiet gentle voice, "Why don't you wet it?" "Wet what?" I said. He said, "The toilet paper."

When a top-secret cargo train carrying materials for Pakistan's nuclear weapons programme is destroyed by mercenaries, its just the first of a series of incidents n which supposedly bullet-proof encryption information is stolen and deciphered.
Someone, it seems, has got hold of a functioning quantum computer - a computer so powerful it has potential to develop a consciousness - and is using it to cause global mayhem. If net Force don't track the perpetrator down, his demented scheme could re-draw the map of the world forever!



Tom Clancy's Net Force: Night Moves.

"The heat was closing in." -Naked Lunch

Michael Chabon's 'The Mysteries of Pittsburgh', my favorite book of all time, is a winner before it even begins. Chabon opens the book with the last line from the Borges poem 'Remorse for Any Death':

"We have shared out like thieves the amazing treasure of nights and days."

I used to dream about fucking women - beautiful women with great big tits ... But this is what I dream about now. I dream about fucking a fat prison guard and stabbing him in the back. It's scary, man. I wonder what I'll be dreaming a year from now, or maybe five years from now. I wonder what I'll be dreaming when I finally get back on the streets.


Title: The Hot House Life Inside Leavenworth Prison
Author: Pete Earley


great boook!

This book will suck you in fast.

Last Edited by T4 Nanobot on 07/07/2015 03:32 AM

With me it's a newspaper headline. This is the one that sparked the Alaska Gold Rush in 1897.

GOLD! GOLD! GOLD!

68 Rich Men on

the Steamer Portland.

STACKS OF YELLOW METAL!

It's from the Seattle Times. [link to www.google.co.uk]

Last Edited by Judethz on 07/07/2015 03:39 AM

Does the entire Hitchhikers Guide trilogy of five count?

Wicked story

I have seen many deadly landscapes, from the Pripet swamps in Russia to the jungles of Vietnam. Unfortunately most of what I saw was seen through a gun sight, with no time to enjoy the scenery. I was a kopj-jaeger- "headhunter" as our comrades of the Wehrmacht used to call us. We were a special task force of the Waffen SS the fighting SS which had nothing to do with concentration camps

George Robert Elford Devils Guard




This opening from the book The Illuminatus Trilogy by

Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson


The Purple Sage opened his mouth and moved his tongue and so spake to them and he said: The Earth quakes and the Heavens rattle; the beasts of nature flock together and the nations of me flock apart; volcanoes usher up heat while elsewhere water becomes ice and melts; and then on other days it just rains. Indeed do many things come to pass

Lord Omar Khayaam Ravenhurst K.S.C
"The Book of Predications" The Honest Book of Truth

In the beginning

I was about to quote this one as it is so awesome as an opening paragraph. So is it's preceding line...

The history of the world is the history of the warfare between secret societies.

-Ishmael Reed, Mumbo-Jumbo

Love that book!!!!!

I was going to post anything Clancy, lol

The final paragraph of 'Ratners Star' will absolutely blow your mind if you read the whole book

The boy's name was Santiago. Dusk was falling as the boy arrived with his
herd at an abandoned church. The roof had fallen in long ago, and an
enormous sycamore had grown on the spot where the sacristy had once
stood.


pretty awesome book regardless of its length and i can easily enjoy 900 page novels.


I would quote the Bible but it's more than just a book to me.. ^_-

Last Edited by OptimusPrimeX on 07/07/2015 05:25 AM

zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance

This Book is a Life Changer!

"Ships at a distance have every man's wish on board."
Their Eyes Were Watching God by Zora Neale Hurston

Twas the night before Christmas, when all thru the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

Besides all the books in the bible, it would be Once Upon A Time, that was in a lot of early books.

I HAVE NO fucking idea where to start.


Happy Endings.

War of the Worlds - H.G. Wells

"No one would have believed in the last years of the nineteenth century that this world was being watched keenly and closely by intelligences greater than man's and yet as mortal as his own; that as men busied themselves about their various concerns they were scrutinised and studied, perhaps almost as narrowly as a man with a microscope might scrutinise the transient creatures that swarm and multiply in a drop of water."

and The grapes of wrath.. first page.

Last night I dreamed I was at Mandalay...

”Last night I dreamt I went to Manderley again". - Rebecca by Daphne Du Maurier.

and

"It took me a long time and most of the world to learn what I know about love and fate and the choices we make, but the heart of it came to me in an instant, while I was chained to a wall and being tortured. I realised, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in that shackled, bloody helplessness, I was still free: free to hate the men who were torturing me, or to forgive them. It doesn't sound like much, I know. But in the flinch and bite of the chain, when it's all you've got, that freedom is a universe of possibility. And the choice you make, between hating and forgiving, can become the story of your life."

- Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts

Gone South - Robert McCammon

It was Hell's season. and the air smelled of burning children.

How to foretell all prices