Just had to kick out my 21 yr old daughter....

there seems to be a lot of afraid parents here that want their babies to stay at home and learn to be adults AFTER becoming adult age. with anything worthwhile in our lives we don't usually just jump into it AND then learn how to do it. if you don't want the big mean ole world teachin your kids lessons...then be their mentor for adulthood long before they reach adult age. it's why many here "let" them stay at home too long. they know in their hearts that they really haven't taught them how to be on their own and the responsible mental attitude needed for it. it's funny how in many aspects of the world...these 18 yr old "babies" can legally sign contracts...buy cars...homes...their own insurance...obtain a passport to leave the country...enlist into a possible deadly situation with the armed forces and get married to either gender. what i find "funny" too is that many say at 21...their "children" should be able to come and go as they please. they have a job...are in college AND both of these places require a strict adherence to TIME and for them to learn/understand the implications of not adhering to that time. but for some reason many parents are not teaching that at home...the very place where they should be learning "it" before jumping into it with no idea of time management and the consequences of it's mismanagement.

anyway...good on you and your early lessons on adulthood. "we" worry...but if we've been teaching them well AND along the way as they've grown..."we" know they'll be fine and even if we shell out a few bucks to help them along the way...it's alright. many here are not gettin the difference of throwin em out verses lettin them spread their wings with the lessons we've helped them with through their early lives. fear from the parents helps foster fear in their "babies".

worrying about your next meal or bein kicked out of a place should be your catalyst to do better. adversity and hardships force us to do the best we can so as not to live in a refrigerator box behind Walmart. if you're afraid of that...GOOD. sure...some will give up along the way...but many of those would've given up no matter how much help they received from mommy and daddy.

Did you do that to each of your children? You have not told us your story. Please do. I'm anxious to hear.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 09/06/2015 09:16 PM

you kicked her out because she didnt come home on time and didnt sweep the floor when you wanted her to and spent money the way she wanted to spent it?

you win worst parents in the world award lady.

your daughter should be kicking YOU OUT.

Stay! Nothing wrong with that!

You have no reason to be proud. You're an ass. Why would you say that she's "retarded" and make a comment regarding sexual activities?

I feel sorry for you.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 09/06/2015 09:34 PM

I won't ever tell my kids to leave home. Even if they turn out to be complete assholes, all the more reason to keep an eye on em.

Op, how are you going to feel when you see your daughter on the street corner buying drugs
or doing porn on the internet to pay her bills?

all of because of WHAT YOU DID

and who knows...maybe she will need a partner to do live shows with :) :) :)

I worked in the care sector - taking in to my home and providing safe housing for 16 - 18 (sometimes up to 21) yr olds who were basically expected to magically grow up on a certain birthday and get it right first time or be kicked out by their parent(s)

I was expected to provide one meal a day for them and help them learn how to improve their weaker areas - whether it be managing finances, cooking or general housekeeping …

Some of these had been in care and others had parents that didnt have a clue - expected a magical change overnight and so kicked them out to learn the hard way.

I had to attend meetings with social workers, police, youth offending officers, social workers and the like …….

These kids, all of them, were great ….. they just needed love, respect and freedom with some reasonable boundaries …..

The pain that some of them experienced at the ( often perceived ) rejection of their parents was heartbreaking.


All I can say is …. dont use her breaking of a few rules as the reason to oust her …… all it will do is frustrate (& hurt) her and make her feel she is not free to make mistakes. (However a brave face she puts on)

Rather reach it as a joint decision - whereby she gets to want her own place and feels she has a choice as to when she leaves….. and help to do it. (even if she has enough money) Be there for her so she doesn't fall - not just when she does. (That is feeding a need in yourself. )


Let God humble her - its not your job.

I've not read the whole thread.

I think you have done the right thing.

Perhaps between now and then or shortly after she moves out you will be able to sort things out.

With freedom comes responsibility.


For the record I left home out of choice at 19 because my lifestyle didn't fit in with my parents.

Today children do seem to take another 5 years to mature.

Oh, yes, we do! Been there, done that. If kids want to be independent, then just simply leave home, sink or swim.

I can't believe the amount of criticism coming out of these posters' words! Tell that to your parents, face to face, who spent your first 18 years furnishing you with a roof over your head, asking little in return except to obey the rules. Damned spoiled brats.

Karma comes, and with a price. Remember that.

even if she is a nagger ?

Those kids are your responsibility no matter what age

Yeah, that's right. Let her go out all night partying with her homies, sleep all day, enjoy the good life for free and have no responsibilities of any kind. Riiiiiight.

You fucking dumbass! Tough love, bitch! By the time you're 21, it's time to learn what being an adult is all about.

GTFO!

This!

If she's going to do that, she'd have done it anyway. We'll just see how much better she likes the street than her old comfy BR.

You are a terrible mother.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

5*, OP!

You're an idiot!

its not like there are only two choices, spoil her or kick her out. you could stand up to her, tell her to f off and not kick her out.

your kid, your problem. if you kick her out and she goes on welfare we have to pay for it. thats what isnt fair.

Children become ADULTS! Not the parents responsibility anymore!!!!! ADULTS are responsible for themselves!!!!
THIS is a big part of our nations issues. People saying the parents are at fault. NO! The adult who can't be an adult is at fault. Good for you OP! Adults who don't want to be treated as children but wish to freeload off parents like children are in need of a quick lesson in grow the HECK UP!!!!!

You do remember she will be picking out your nursing home ?

Now she can kick YOU out of her life and good luck seeing your grand kids.

Please... Adults make arrangement for funerals and nursing home etc in advance. They don't want to burden their children with such things. Also OP's daughter may be angry at first but as she becomes independent she will be ok. She will say thank you down the road as she may face the same things with her children. Grandkids are loved but should never be used as a form of blackmail. Who would use love as blackmail. Oh yeah.. evil people...I forgot.

I'm past 70 now, but I will never forget the time I flew 400 miles...or drove...to attend a high school reunion. I was in my 40's. I stayed with my parents for the 2-3 days when I was in my hometown for this reunion.

I had fun at the reunion...and a few of us knew we wouldn't be seeing each other for a long time, so we stayed and talked...till the wee hours of the morning.

I got "home" ....to my parents' house to find my mother waiting up for me. She was really angry and treated me as if I was 16 years old again, coming in late. I will never forget it! I laughed and still laugh. She was always so controlling.

Last Edited by nutmeg on 09/07/2015 07:29 PM