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Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 45680792
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10/18/2015 02:42 AM
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Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
A friend of mine has been obsessed with Art Bell for awhile now and now that he is back with a new show, she's gotten a lot worse. I can see how a young woman could become attracted to an older, good looking man such as Art, but I fear this is more than just an attraction. She is TOTALLY obsessed with him and I'm starting to get a little concerned. It's hard for me to be there for her at times, because she lives in the Philippines. She's only 23 years old.

Here is the last letter she sent to me via email.

__________________________________________________________

art and i are having an affair - i find his gristly wet , cigarette enhanced voice my siren song -- all he has to do is push forward some phlegm from his lungs on the air and my butter churns itself. in that baritone heave of his i imagine his thin, bloody gums still suspending his banana yellow teeth in his head and i smile, assured that he can still enjoy a steak like a real man

his now faded fingerprints on his boney and arthritic fingers gently caresses my hair when i am in need of attention…. he brings me nearer to him because he can barely make out the words i say to him - his deafness allows me to be as frank and dirty as i want to be …
when he has me in his clutches i see him as a bird of prey seizing its victim - he is my buzzard and i thrill at pretending to be slow and getting caught by him --
i love the rare mixture of his dalliances with the four major food groups, silvered and bubbling saliva and gingivitis that go on to make up the aroma within his breath….
i feel faint within his range of mouth perfumes - queasy and unsure if i have fallen in love with a rare specimen of manhood or have fallen through the grates of a new york sewer and into the deep with the brown birthings of an entire city…..
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/18/2015 02:46 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Also, this is her "song" now.

Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 02:49 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
epiclol
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/18/2015 03:06 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
The thing is that she cries a lot over this. She thinks that if his new wife doesn't die pretty soon, she might be too old to attract him. She purposely tries to look like she's 13 years old.
Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 03:56 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Your friend is hardcore into him! She definitely has fallen hard for him -
do you know if she's always felt this way or just since he returned to the air?

this puts a new spin on taking a ride with Art!

:WANNATAKEARIDE:
Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 03:58 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
lol

how is this thread low rated? Should be 5s
Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 03:59 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Also, this is her "song" now.


 Quoting: g.g.


This says a lot about her - it means she's got an Art-On for Mr Bell --
or would it be a Heart-On?

:BellsDarkMatter:
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/18/2015 04:02 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Your friend is hardcore into him! She definitely has fallen hard for him -
do you know if she's always felt this way or just since he returned to the air?

this puts a new spin on taking a ride with Art!

:WANNATAKEARIDE:
 Quoting: Waif & Stray


Wow, I might be falling for him too now that I've seen that picture. He looks amazing with that hair!

She's always had an attraction to him. She told me that when she was 11 she dreamed that an older white man was going to adopt her and bring her to the US. When she got a little older she heard that Art Bell was in town looking for brides, and I think that's when it started.

Now all she does is cry and pray that his current wife will die very soon so that she can be with Art.
Anonymous Coward
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10/18/2015 04:24 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
i used to have a crush on George Noory but quickly got over it once i'd heard he had secretly married Richard C. Hoagland.
Word had it that the pair exchanged vows in the basement of a General Store in Leiper's Fork, Tennessee.
Richard's wife caught on to their secret arrangement and saw to it that they have the marriage annulled and erased from the records.
put off by the drama, i redirected my affection for George on a blind Chinchilla i adopted from a witch in the Santa Cruz mountains

:HoagandNoory:
MyNameIsRickMoranisModerator
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10/18/2015 04:38 AM

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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
wtfdid
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/18/2015 04:35 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Well, things have taken a turn for the worse. I knew I shouldn't have become involved, but I was only trying to help. Now I fear that Art Bell's life is in danger. You guys heard it first. If that old coot gets all crazy and announces that he has to go off the air again for unspecified reasons, well....


Like I said, I tried to help. I decided to contact my young Filipino friend and impersonate Art. I know she's not that bright, so I started a fake Art Bell website called myblogerspot.com/IamTheRealArtBell and started contacting her as if I were Art. I told her that this was the only official Art Bell website.

So what I did was I told her, see. I told her, see, that she was already WAY too old for me and then asked if she had a younger sister, cousin or friend or something. She got kinda upset and told me (Art) that she was going to hunt me down and cut off my balls with a spoon. I told her to do what she had to do and then laughed at her. I was just trying to get her to give up on Art, but now I think I made things worse.

So I contracted Art Bell's people and told them that I had knowledge of a plot by an alien to hunt Art down and cut off his balls with a spoon. They got real excited and asked me to be on his show! So Now I'm going to be a guest on the Art Bell show!!! I can't believe how this has worked out. I think he's sexy as hell and now I get to be on his show. I can't wait to tell my friend!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
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10/18/2015 04:59 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Thanks for all the prayers, by the way.

Now that my friend is all sorted out, I'd like you to please forget about her and start praying for me. Please pray that I do well on Art's show...and that his wife might die soon so that I can be with Art.

smile_kiss
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 02:39 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
:TOMbump:

funny how things manage to work out - i will be listening to Bell's show to hear your interview!
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 02:42 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
She doesn't sound attracted to him. More like repulsed, but with a sense of humor.
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 02:44 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Does she have a full set of teeth?





Is his name Brief?
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 02:58 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
she wants to ride his see saw?
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 03:33 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Does she have a full set of teeth?





Is his name Brief?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70575173


Yes, and she's only 23 years old and very beautiful.
Mountainman15

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10/19/2015 03:43 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
The most important issue to determine is this:

Is your friend east or west of the Rockies????

That is the key to this problem.
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 03:47 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
The most important issue to determine is this:

Is your friend east or west of the Rockies????

That is the key to this problem.
 Quoting: Mountainman15


Hahaha. I was actually going to ad something just like that! Hahaha
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 03:48 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Sending haarp rays your friends way.
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 03:51 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
damned
Anonymous Coward
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10/19/2015 04:11 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.


The answer to this wickedness is money
Anonymous Coward
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10/20/2015 09:04 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
bump
Anonymous Coward
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10/20/2015 09:06 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Is this an Astral Goat call out thread?

charlie
Anonymous Coward
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10/20/2015 09:12 PM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Is this an Astral Goat call out thread?

charlie
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70602763


Anonymous Coward (OP)
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United States
10/21/2015 04:26 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
Is this an Astral Goat call out thread?

charlie
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70602763


No, but that smilie always cracks me up!
Anonymous Coward
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10/21/2015 05:37 AM
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Re: Friend of mine is completely sexually attracted to Art Bell. Prayers needed.
All of you Art Bell/Coast to Coast freaks need to be rounded up and put in FEMA camps





GLP