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10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.

 
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 153429
United States
10/15/2006 01:55 AM
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10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
10. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.

9. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.

8.Aren't you the guy from the Village people?

7. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me.

6. Are You Andy or Barney?

5. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.

4. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?

3. Gee Officer, that's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!

2. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

1. When the Officer says "Gee Son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Thundercheeks

User ID: 148528
Australia
10/15/2006 01:58 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
1rof1
Brakes is gone!! "Weeze fweewheelin!"

Just say "NO!" to Luciferian Insectazoids.

"I am not here"...what is here?..Isn't here just there without a T...?
The Enchanter

User ID: 125912
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10/15/2006 01:59 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
11. But I'm not finished smoking it yet...
Kaytee

User ID: 148213
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10/15/2006 02:01 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
chuckle

I love cop jokes!

Shenanagins!
[link to video.google.com]
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/15/2006 02:05 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
pdance
Anonymous Coward
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10/15/2006 02:05 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
12. No alcohol I don't wreak of Officer.
(my wife's funny)
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
10/15/2006 02:53 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
12. Hey Man, what's the hassle?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 154943
United States
10/15/2006 02:54 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
"Kiss my ass, pig" That never has a good outcome.
Anonymous Coward
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Netherlands
10/15/2006 02:54 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
Hey! You look just like Officer Barbrady! Hi! I'm Kenny:)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 1829
United States
10/15/2006 02:57 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
rofl i really like #4. then after you say that you look at them like this:

damned
Anonymous Coward
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10/15/2006 02:59 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
13.Do you know were i can purchase some rolling papers.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
10/15/2006 03:00 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
my cop buddy told me to tell the same jokes,, and then tell them to call him when they are beating me . lol
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/15/2006 03:02 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
14. You'd run over the curb too if you were rolling a joint and mixing a screwdriver at the same time.
Le Normen

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10/15/2006 03:02 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
14. "Whats up Officer, Do you know your way around this town?, I seem a little lost, go get a map for me in your police car.
Le Normen

User ID: 154552
United States
10/15/2006 03:03 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
Sorry I was #14, but thats alright
Anonymous Coward
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10/15/2006 03:03 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
14. You'd run over the curb too if you were rolling a joint and mixing a screwdriver at the same time.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 300

chuckle
7th Son

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10/15/2006 03:04 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
You have the right to remain silent,
anything you say can and will be used against you!


Can we just fucking get this over with???


I would like to video tape this.



Did you know you have a headlight out?

sing-
Bad Boys, Bad Boys whatcha gonna do?
watcha gonna do when they come for you?
In God we Trust,
In Government WE DON'T!
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/15/2006 03:04 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
Fucking bastards, I didn't hurt nobody. I didn't cause no damage. Leave me the fuck alone!

(reasonable response if true)
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 125393
United States
10/15/2006 03:05 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
But officer i didnt swirve maybe it was you.Would you please allow me to give you the test.
itdincor
User ID: 59628
United States
10/15/2006 05:34 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
"Do you know were i can purchase some rolling papers"

So, about ten years ago, Hippy John and the late, departed Humpy were moving some Cannabis plants. They were so drunk that they just put the plants in the back of John's pickup truck, not even a paper bag over them, and down the road they go.

So, they get pulled over by the Police Chief, John freaks, and Humpy leans out the window and says to the Chief: "got any papers?" I'm told the Chief laughed so hard that he dropped his ticket book.

Another is the following. I once got busted for public intoxication in Portland Oregon. So, I say "Fuck you, ya fuckin' pigs". They beat the crap out of me and left me on the sidewalk. No ticket, though. I've never spoken to a policeman like that since.

Ever since, it's been "Yes Officer", "No Officer", and "I'd like to speak to my attorney, Officer". BTW: don't ever say anything else, and admit to nothing.

It really helps to be polite. Take my word for it.

hayseed
Le Normen

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United States
10/15/2006 05:50 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
The best thing to do is to just purchase one of those fake police badges on Ebay or a toy store, and place your drivers license I.D photo next to it, so if any undercover taxi drivers decide to pull you over, just flash it at them - gives them a little scare. or just use it as an excuse to shut people up once in a while.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
10/15/2006 05:53 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
Im not as thunk as you drink I am
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 137330
United States
10/15/2006 05:55 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
a buddy of mine was in the DT one night and kept calling an unfortunate cop on duty 'barney fife' all night long

op is correct. i do believe it's one of the things not to call a cop. i once made the mistake of bringing up their donut-eating habits. another bad move

so in the spirit of this thread, can i offer an 11th thing?: will that be boston cream or glazed, officer?
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 137330
United States
10/15/2006 05:57 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
sorry, missed the donut remark in the op's post. i like his/hers better anyway
CROW
User ID: 154562
Australia
10/15/2006 06:53 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
..are you the driver of this vehicle?
Well, its an automatic, but you still have to be here"

"officer, Id like to report someone has stolen my steering wheel"
Sir, you are currently trying to start your car in the back seat"

"What are you doing parked on the side of the road?"
"Im screwing my girlfriend, officer"
"can I have a go?"
"Sure, but Ive never screwed a cop before"

"Sir, are you aware that this is a 60 km per hour zone?"
"yes officer, but I wasnt planning on being out that long"

Regards...CROW
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/15/2006 08:54 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
My friend is sober and I would have let him drive. Except your wife called him. Said she needed some quick sex. I dropped him at your house about an hour ago.
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
10/15/2006 09:09 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
"Do you pester people often, officer?"
Grizzled Old Goat

User ID: 154993
Canada
10/15/2006 09:15 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
How about:

"Why don't you go find a real criminal you fat donut eating nazi bully pig?"

That one earned me a night in jail and a serious beating in my younger days..LOL
Anonymous Coward
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United Kingdom
10/15/2006 09:17 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
15

bushhitler
Anonymous Coward
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United States
10/15/2006 09:20 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
....didn't your Mother ever tell you, you shouldn't approach cars with strangers in them...
Man 2.5

User ID: 123010
United States
10/15/2006 09:23 AM
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Re: 10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.
11. didn't i see your wife on a milk carton

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