10 things you shouldn't say to a police officer.

11. But I'm not finished smoking it yet...

I love cop jokes!

Shenanagins!
[link to video.google.com]

12. No alcohol I don't wreak of Officer.
(my wife's funny)

12. Hey Man, what's the hassle?

"Kiss my ass, pig" That never has a good outcome.

Hey! You look just like Officer Barbrady! Hi! I'm Kenny:)

i really like #4. then after you say that you look at them like this:

13.Do you know were i can purchase some rolling papers.

my cop buddy told me to tell the same jokes,, and then tell them to call him when they are beating me . lol

14. You'd run over the curb too if you were rolling a joint and mixing a screwdriver at the same time.

14. "Whats up Officer, Do you know your way around this town?, I seem a little lost, go get a map for me in your police car.

Sorry I was #14, but thats alright

You have the right to remain silent,
anything you say can and will be used against you!


Can we just fucking get this over with???


I would like to video tape this.



Did you know you have a headlight out?

sing-
Bad Boys, Bad Boys whatcha gonna do?
watcha gonna do when they come for you?

Fucking bastards, I didn't hurt nobody. I didn't cause no damage. Leave me the fuck alone!

(reasonable response if true)

But officer i didnt swirve maybe it was you.Would you please allow me to give you the test.

"Do you know were i can purchase some rolling papers"

So, about ten years ago, Hippy John and the late, departed Humpy were moving some Cannabis plants. They were so drunk that they just put the plants in the back of John's pickup truck, not even a paper bag over them, and down the road they go.

So, they get pulled over by the Police Chief, John freaks, and Humpy leans out the window and says to the Chief: "got any papers?" I'm told the Chief laughed so hard that he dropped his ticket book.

Another is the following. I once got busted for public intoxication in Portland Oregon. So, I say "Fuck you, ya fuckin' pigs". They beat the crap out of me and left me on the sidewalk. No ticket, though. I've never spoken to a policeman like that since.

Ever since, it's been "Yes Officer", "No Officer", and "I'd like to speak to my attorney, Officer". BTW: don't ever say anything else, and admit to nothing.

It really helps to be polite. Take my word for it.

The best thing to do is to just purchase one of those fake police badges on Ebay or a toy store, and place your drivers license I.D photo next to it, so if any undercover taxi drivers decide to pull you over, just flash it at them - gives them a little scare. or just use it as an excuse to shut people up once in a while.

Im not as thunk as you drink I am

a buddy of mine was in the DT one night and kept calling an unfortunate cop on duty 'barney fife' all night long

op is correct. i do believe it's one of the things not to call a cop. i once made the mistake of bringing up their donut-eating habits. another bad move

so in the spirit of this thread, can i offer an 11th thing?: will that be boston cream or glazed, officer?

sorry, missed the donut remark in the op's post. i like his/hers better anyway

..are you the driver of this vehicle?
Well, its an automatic, but you still have to be here"

"officer, Id like to report someone has stolen my steering wheel"
Sir, you are currently trying to start your car in the back seat"

"What are you doing parked on the side of the road?"
"Im screwing my girlfriend, officer"
"can I have a go?"
"Sure, but Ive never screwed a cop before"

"Sir, are you aware that this is a 60 km per hour zone?"
"yes officer, but I wasnt planning on being out that long"

Regards...CROW

My friend is sober and I would have let him drive. Except your wife called him. Said she needed some quick sex. I dropped him at your house about an hour ago.

"Do you pester people often, officer?"

How about:

"Why don't you go find a real criminal you fat donut eating nazi bully pig?"

That one earned me a night in jail and a serious beating in my younger days..LOL

15

:bushhitler:

....didn't your Mother ever tell you, you shouldn't approach cars with strangers in them...

11. didn't i see your wife on a milk carton