We distance ourselves from others so we don't feel their pain

I wish you had not said that!

You know it's true.

If they are so abusive, violent and volatile that they destroy your soul, you have to distance yourself.

WHy be sorry?

Sometimes I can't take any more of others pain or misery because they largely inflict it upon themselves...and then want to share their pain with me!

The negativity can sometimes be like a vampire sucking all the joy right out of my life.

I have every right to save myself from drowning in their pain & letting it ruin my life as well!

Don't think that's what op is writing about.

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

Sometimes you distance because you can't bare to witness the pain, of them going through their pain.

It's really sad.

And then we beat ourselves up over not witnessing or focusing more on the pain we observed.

He's right you know!

Agreed. But sometimes, they don't inflict, it's just an observation. I distance myself because I don't want to feel down.

Am I selfish, probably.

Perhaps I'm reading this wrong, but I distance myself not from their pain, but from possible pain inflicted from them...


[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

Sybok: Your pain runs deep.

J'Onn: What do you know of my pain?

Sybok: Let us explore it... together. Each man hides a secret pain. It must be exposed and reckoned with. It must be dragged from the darkness and forced into the light. Share your pain. Share your pain with me... and gain strength from the sharing.

Last Edited by An Hero on 12/15/2015 11:48 PM

Chip, that's my name too!

I guess I need more clarification.

If it's a friend who drinks too much or never learned a damn thing to better himself in life...I see no reason why I should watch them suffer.

If my mom or dad was dying from a disease...yeah, I would be there for them no matter the pain they were suffering.

This is one thing I took away from the book of Job.

How in Job's misery, he had 3 friends who just sat there with him...they didn't even need to talk.

Job even asked them to leave & they said "we shared the good times, we will share the bad times". And they stayed.

Maybe this is why god is absent.

Yes. I think we all are empaths. Some moreso than others and it can be almost debilitating being in public situations. The older I get the better I get at being out there, but sometimes its still unbearable.

so true and exactly the reason love is not enough. Even unlimited love cannot force your partner to love you back.

Absolutely right. I do this when someone becomes an emotional vampire.

You have to do this sometimes to preserve yourself.

Quote:
You have to do this sometimes to preserve yourself.

You got it!

Same reason you don't jump in after a drowning person...they'll push your head under water in their panic.

It doesn't have to be pain either...It could be constant negativity or bitching.

Is that a line in a song?
It should be.

If you allow someone who is negative unlimited access to your time and your thoughts, it will rub off on you.

Its very simple.