Men beware - Attorney discusses differences between drunk sex and date rape

I havent worked outside in the workplace since this happened to me. I have a business I work from home. My daughter is now facing this. She quit her job because of unwanted sexual harrassment, even though she says shes ingaged to me married, they still dont respect that even!! My daughter looks like me when I was at that age, long blond hair, pretty clean looking girl, and the black cooks, keep bothering her enough to scare her, so she just quit. She called me all upset.

"But I was sexually harrassed at work without asking for it, even trying to avoid it"

Not the point of this thread, but as I said that's what harassment laws are for.

"and men are treating all women like filthy whores when most are not."

This should read "and SOME men are treating SOME women like filthy whores when most are not". Big difference.


"They watch too many sick porn sites that are degrading to the good women"

If porn degrading to women or not is another topic for another thread.

Just out of curiosity what type of place are you working at? It sounds like something from the 60's.

Can't say I understand this harrassment at work thing.
When I was young, I was very attractive, and while I had direct and indirect propositions, I was never groped etc. I think it is that you have to develop an attitude of "just don't touch me!/cold shoulders", and of course a cold glare helps too.
It is a subtle body language thing, but it has to start in your head.

Sometimes, in these work situations girs are just too friendly with the guys in general. You can be friendly and still project to untouchable attitude that says, "I'm neither available nor willing, so treat me with respect."

A steak house, where you have to go into the back to pick up orders and go to the back freezer sometimes, no it is in Cocoa Fl. Now our day!

Plenty of beautiful women have ugly asses.

Maybe if you had turned in the tard and pressed charges it wouldn't be happening to your daughter...

maybe because if you turn them in, shell end up dead. shes all by herself in Fl.

this world has gone so down hill. Men even molest babies! This was just in the news in Fl

"this world has gone so down hill. Men even molest babies! This was just in the news in Fl"

And women drown their children in bathtubs, chop off their arms, starve them to death and fasten them in their car seats and push the car into lakes. More children are killed at the hands of their mother than at the hands of their fathers.

Don't bash men in general just because you have problems.

The two people in this story were both idiots. Regarding rape, if women would just learn to defend themselves, and use that knowledge vigorously and often, you wouldn't see too many rapes occuring. I (male) tried for years to get a working, effective self defense system set up for women at UC Santa Barbara, and you wouldn't believe the resistance to such from all the groups like "Take Back the Night" that supposedly have women's interests at heart. If a man gropes you, break his thumb. If a man forcefully tries to hold you down and make you do something you don't want, you die fighting before you let that happen to you. I can make that statement with confidence, as I trained extensive MMA with a 5 foot tall woman who could beat the shit out of any well trained fighter in our class.

women molest babies too dumbass

This wasn't a true rape in my mind, but the guy is an idiot. Dude if some chick gets out of bed to puke once let alone twice, forget about it. Your an idiot if you continue after that. Common sense.

Just to put an end to this 'all men are evil' crap here are some stats from government reports. Look them up yourself.

The Bureau of Justice System NCJ 143498 report includes:

Men are one fifth as likely as women to be acquitted for the same crime.

Men are 16% more likely to be imprisoned if convicted.

Men receive prison sentences 2.7 times longer than women for the same crime.

Women are over half of the defendants (55%) in "only" one category of family murder: parents killing their offspring.

Wives are twice as likely as husbands to kill their spouse with a knife.

Wives are twice as likely as husbands to initiate a contract to kill their spouse.

The Third National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect (NIS-3) from the US Department of Health and Human Services (call 1-800-FYI-3366 for a copy) reveals data about child abuse by mothers which is far more critical of single-mothers than previous Bureau of Justice Statistics reports.

Children are 3 times more likely to be fatally abused in Mother-only Households than in Father-only Households, and 73 times more likely in households where the mother cohabits.

Compared to biological fathers, children are 59 times more likely to be fatally abused by women.

Children raised in Single-mother Households are 8 times more likely to become murderers than children raised in families.

Consistent with the fact that mothers and mother-substitutes tend to be the primary caretakers, 87 percent of all neglected children and 93 percent of physically neglected children suffered their neglect at the hands of female perpetrators.

If men were acquitted as often as women, rather than 2 million American men in prison, there would now be only 400,000. If men were acquitted as often as women AND were no more likely to be imprisoned if convicted, there would be only 345,000 men in prison. If men were acquitted as often as women, were no more likely to be imprisoned if convicted, AND received prison sentences equivalent to those for women for the SAME crime, there would now be only 128,000 men in prison.

It is anti-male bias by the very same justice system which is allegedly consumed in fighting anti-female bias which makes a mockery of the term "justice".

Many single-mother families are single parent because the father walked out on them. Particularly in the lower classes.

I recall our esteemed President doing that to the woman Chancellor of Germany at the G8 conference. Says alot about the moral attitude of our leader.

May you be raped in the ass by a giant black man 'til your innards collapse.

It is in the best interests of all women to learn some form of self defence. I recommend one that includes the understanding of how to apply force to the pressure points of the body.

Despite some women's attitudes, there are few men in this world you will ever need to actually use this form of defense on.

Innapropriate gestures or remarks can be easily dealt with by asserting yourself THE VERY FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS, and not shrinking into the corner making yourself easily available for future targets.
There IS legal recourse available for a persisting problem that does not cease, despite your efforts to make it known that behaviour is not acceptable. Do yourself and other women a favor and USE IT.

Never ALLOW yourself to play the role of "victim". There are no gaurantees in this world, but you are the only one responsible to look after yourself as best you can. Use your gut instincts, if it doesn't "feel right" GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT SITUATION FAST.

I agree with you. I've always gotten a lot of male attention and I still do, but I have never been treated disrespectfully; I have never had any problems with men getting out of line.

If a woman has a problem with men continually trying to grope her and making aggressive sexual advances towards her, then she must be saying or doing something that's sending out the wrong signals. If one guy gets out of line, then she can go ahead and say he's the one with the problem, but if everywhere she goes she has guys trying to grope and grab her, then she has to stop looking at them and start looking at herself to see where the problem lies.

If she thinks it's just a simple case of "she's beautiful and men are pigs", she couldn't be more wrong. The vast majority of men do not treat women like dirt, and men especially do not treat beautiful women like dirt. In fact, the opposite is true. Men go out of their way to impress beautiful women.

If a woman is having a lot of trouble with men behaving improperly around her on a regular basis, then it's because she's been sending out wrong or mixed signals. The most obvious way to send out the wrong signal is to dress like a streetwalker -- if she doesn't want to be treated like a whore then she shouldn't dress like one -- that should go without saying. After that it gets more subtle -- body language and attitude. Attitude is more important than anything, and it's reflected in our body language.

My instincts tell me that the woman who posted here about all her problems with men, radiates a weakness and a sense of inferiority that causes her to be seen as easy prey. She is afraid, and men can sense her fear. She expects trouble and gets trouble. A woman like that is going to attract two kinds of men: "predators" and "protectors". Both types will see her as an easy mark, but one will seek to take advantage of her, and the other will seek to shield her from the big bad wolves (because everyone needs to be needed, and some men need to be needed by a helpless damsel in distress).

I have never had any serious problems with men, and I think it's because I have a healthy and wholesome attitude towards them and towards myself. I like men and I'm sure they can sense this. I have no hostility towards them or fear of them. I am not cruel to them. I don't insult them. And, I do not seek to take advantage of them. I'm always smiling and friendly, but I'm not a flirt. I treat men with respect, and I have respect for myself. I take good care of myself and dress nicely, but I never dress like a tramp. Men have always gone out of their way to be nice to me. They treat me with respect.

I'm pretty sure my healthy attitude towards men is the result of having a great dad and growing up with 3 brothers and spending my childhood hanging out with the guys because here were no girls my age in our neighborhood. I grew up surrounded by males I knew and trusted. And, I also was NOT daddy's little princess (I had 3 sisters too, so there were no princesses in our house). 7 kids = not rich no matter how much money you make. Dad did not spoil us with gifts -- he couldn't afford to -- he spent time with us instead. So, I was not raised by my dad to view men as a source of gifts but to view men as good, loving, trustworthy, and fun.

Guys rock!

Agreed.

What you do if some man is coming on to you is get one of the little pocket size recorders. Keep it in your pocket and when he enters the area press the buttons to start it. Practice a bit with it in your pocket. Once he has done what he does say out loud you don't like his actions words or whatever.

Then go to an attorney. I would recommend go to human resources but sometimes they will take the tape and not do anything except give you unfair reviews so you end up leaving.

Also you should keep a log of actions taken against you in small ways with date action and person who did action. This will hold up better in court. You need to log it each day.

Be careful. Video tape everything.

uhhhh sober sex is acceptable then

DONT EVEN ASSOCIATE WITH DRUNK CHICKS. ALL THEY HAVE TO DO IS GET YOUR "STUFF" SO TO SPEAK AND SAVE IT FOR A RAINY DAY....


YOUR SCREWED.

I learned too late that drunk sex is where babies come from.

femininsm isn't againt men, it's for giving women same rights as men, so don't say "feminist agenda" like it's a bad thing.

all forms of rape are horrible, like you said yourself, and the girl in the story is evil, she sent a man to jail for years and made him a sex offender in everyone's eyes coz she had dodgie drunk sex, but the jury that ruled this was a rape is evil too. in my experiance, it's quite different though, it's usually hard to prove you were raped in court, coz the law protects the offender and attacks the "victim". it took me years to teach my own, non rapist dad, that a woman cannot "be putting herself into a rape situation"...i am not saying that there aren't women like this in the story, who wrongfully accuse men of rape, but i am saying that real rape is very hard to prove, and that is why a lot of women never report it.

A woman changing her mind the next day after realizing she was drunk and regretted the evening should not result in a rape charge...Women in these situations need to take responsibility for their actions as well instead of branding a man with a felony record and sex criminal stamp the rest of his life. i agree completely and i am outraged at a jury that would call this rape and support this evil woman's claim.

Lol, either you're full of shit or you're a weak woman.

Not to toot my own horn, but I'm pretty good looking. However, no man ever did shit like that to me in a workplace environment, because I would never allow it. I can give a man a look that says, "I'll castrate you if you cross the line.".
It's about how you present yourself. If you give off victim vibes, then your get victimized.

I took an airline stewerdess back to her hotel one night. I knew her previously from college. I was a bartender and she was one of my patrons. She got so drunk she fell off her stool. I told her I'd give her a ride. I didn't want her to drive so she waited until I closed up.

I put her to bed and she grabbed my belt and started tugging at my pants begging for sex. Even though I had banged this chick a hundred times in the past I was like no and left. The girl I was dating was at home in my bed.

My girlfriend was like did you sleep with her? I said of course not but she didn't believe me and we got in an argument. It took awhile to get her to the hotel cause she couldn't remember where she was staying.

Anyway, later that morning my girlfriend made me some food and gave me a big hug. On the answering machine was a message from the girl apologizing and thanking me for being a real man and not taking advantage of her.

The girlfriend at the time is now my wife of twelve years and we have a wonderful little family.

Moral of the story if you're gonna bang a drunk chick you have to give her a false name and don't leave any sperm laying around.