Handed divorce papers on Christmas Eve

That's really good.

We, loving man, have been abused by girls lately, all this laws are abused by greedy woman on courts every day, get a video camera attached to your body, a go pro or something, on at all times, do not leave the house and do your normal life, this trick has proven a lot ladies wrong doing lately

Amen. You need Jesus Christ. You might not be able to get your wife back, but you can never become a new man without Lord Jesus saving you from your sins and recreating your spirit. I keep telling my husband to pray with me. He won't do it very often. Men should be prayers and readers of the Word. That is how you husband and father and how you hold your family together.

Schedule appointments with all the best divorce attorneys in town. This prevents her from using them. Cancel all her credit cards. Consider filing for a PPO due to her "outbursts". Change the locks and kick her out. Take photos of everything in the house. Do a walk through video even.

Try to be unemployed during the negotiation of divorce so as to avoid alimony. Make all your money in cash and keep it in cash. Do not leave the house until you have negotiated the divorce.

Make sure you tell the kids that stuff is coming and you are never going to leave them, ever. Anyone tells them different then they are liars. Make them repeat that.

She declared this war.. You're allowed to finish it.

*takes note* Do not try to divorce Rockwell.

Dude she's been planning this for a long time .. The trust with mom thing really ???? Run away now ...you lost this battle before you ever even bought that house.. In a year you will realize that this was the best Christmas present you ever got ... The kids will always be yours you can never lose them but an ungrateful vengeful wife is best left behind in haste

Last Edited by Hydromage on 12/25/2015 03:39 PM

This time next year you won't believe how happy you are in your new life. You will see what a blessing this has been for you and your kid's. Quit being so one side minded. Change often times is the best choice. This is one of those times.

Best two days of my life were the day I got married and the day I got divorced...I never would have become the successful person I am without her on both days..it was hard at first but after about 6 months I woke up with a weight lifted off me when I realized that I could go and do as I pleased and answer to to no one.. You cannot make someone love you and you cannot make some happy.. They do or they don't and they are or they are not .. It's not your burden.. Go to the gym and regroup get it back together you sacrificed yourself too long.. It's not going to be ok it's going to be fucking great

Last Edited by Hydromage on 12/25/2015 03:36 PM

You MUST get a lawyer before the first hearing

If you do not the court will do whatever her lawyer

demands.

You will get ordered to leave the home, and you will not be able to take anything but the clothes on your back.

They will court order all assets locked down.

You will have to start paying child support for three kids right away as well. More then 30 percent of your gross easy for three kids.

She could demand you pay her maintenance as well.

You will get screwed my friend.

You will probably have to come up with 4k or 5k as a retainer.

Get busy and do NOT wait for that first hearing without a lawyer

Best wishes my friend and GOD bless you.

I can see that, and not to be self centered or a dirty divorcee, I have been trying to imagine my life after all this, and Im not a bad looking guy, have always gotten my fair share of looks, probably more than most, and that was my problem, I reveled in the looks, returned the gesture at the peril of my marriage, mostly what ruined it for us, was my wandering eye, never did anything but abused the fact that she let me, I might of taken it too far. and I know when your with someone thats when you get all kinds of looks, it kind of shows on you, and when your single and down that shows on you too. So I expect Im gona be up and down, here and there, trying to figure out who this new me is.

I dont know I feel like Im just shooting in any direction right now, trying to figure this out, saying what my mixed up mind is thinking right now. I might not jump right in to the single life right off, or I might, Im not sure what to do in any aspect right now, but there is a lot of good advice here from you guys and I appreciate it so much.

I think I might talk to a lawyer, but not in an hostile way, just make sure I dont get completely screwed, not to take the house or anything, but to just make sure I am not on the streets with a backpack and my bike (all I own in my name), Im dont want a war, but I dont want to be stripped of my life completely, my possessions or get hit with something out of the blue. Ill do that tomorrow I guess, but I dont know if anyone is going to talk to me without any money.

I wish there was a divorce lawyer here on GLP who can help with a direction to go in that I can trust (nothing against all of you- I just dont want to make it worse)

Nice one!

yes, planned by her or her mother.. 17 years is bad mojo in AZ, my marriage was 13 and no kids, lawyer talked her into 25% of my income, the house and slandered me in a protection order.

that order fucked her, though and ultimately she not only got nothing, she owes me now.. i got lucky, no lie, but it took three years, six legal motions, 3 lawyers and $15k to win.


.

It's a hard lesson to learn, but it's value is priceless.

If I ever found myself in this situation, I'd make like this guy:

Now that was good I liked that a lot, thanks for cheering me up at this time.

I wish I had the know how or wherewithal to pull that.

I think I just need to talk to a lawyer and see what a safe direction would be to pursue, where all are happy and none are in the streets, me, her, or the kids, nobody has to leave or get their lives turned more upside down.

I dont know, as they all walk around me and basically ignore me at my desk, im just trying to make myself as small as possible, her mother just showed up and the secret talking in the room and out back has begun and Im sure its completely geared towards me not being here anymore and her and her mother being two single children (mother daughter are both single children and she uses that as her excuse as to why whe has always been greedy and all about her possessions and her inheritances. I dont blame her, I did go into this with my eyes open I just always figured eventually she would share in the whole "We are a family" and lets be one.

And now I just heard behind me she tell our daughter that they are going to be here for a week or so, so I guess shes here to provide financial support geared to making sure I leave, she has always been like that, ready to foot the bill for something like this- leaving me/ getting me out/ its been like this before, during minor fights, always here to take here out and have "lets talk bad about Jesse lunch or dinner" I just chalked it up to mother-in-law everywhere.

So I am sure shes here to provide backup for her in case things dont go the way she has dictated. It just keeps getting better and better.

the good news is that she has her own financial means, so with any luck, you'll get out alive with your clothes, backpack and bike.



Siriusly, if you get out without child support or alimony, it will be a miracle from God and you should join a church and thank Him every day.

Many women nowadays see divorce as a necessary step in their life-cycle:

marriage

children

divorce

and then they feel as though they've finally arrived at adulthood.

There's really nothing you can do in a situation like that because you're not fighting for the viability of the relationship; you're fighting her entire view of self and reality.

I'm nearly in the same boat bro. Hang in there and I'm praying for you.

Thanks man, Ill do the same, I appreciate it.

Watch out for the order of protection. It's almost guaranteed to be coming. You will be thrown out of your house. It happened to me. She lied and I lost everything but the clothes on my back. Three years later I've got the important things back. She re-married. I was back in town for a funeral and saw her driving the other was scowling. Best day of my life. She got all the debt.

Once shes taken her heart back (if she ever really ever gave it up) its over, unless shes stupid or feels guilty, but if she knows she will get PAID, you better find a way to move on to whatevers next, the courts will make every effort to you dry, just because they can.
Do what you can to keep them from inflating your worth and your potential worth. Your financial future at your age in at best unknown and they will make every effort to make you out to be a potential millionaire and to bleed you financially.

Actually thats what I thought was coming too, but so far I have some time to get some things in order, and hopefully round up enough for a room to rent while I get past this holiday lull in my funds, and return to a full check, so until then Itll have to be a room to rent I guess. I think I can swing that at least.

and she isnt gona ask for support, as she sees herself better off as a single person than I am. which is good.
and shes being of the mind that if she gets one of those it will totally ruin my job, and im sure she thinks the possibility of their being more time needed or a fight she isnt threatening that,...yet.

That's icy cold, bro.

Women are evil.

Be a man and be extraordinarily thankful that your wife and kids will be OK financially. Obviously she has been taking care of things in that regard with you being a tattoo artist while she is independently wealthy through inheritance.

The best thing you can do for your wife and kids is to be a man and do not fight or expect a material thing from her. Except joint custody - and ONLY if you can care for the kids in the manner in which they are accustomed OR merely visitation rights if you can't care for them financially.

You may have to leave -alone- and make it in this world on your own two feet before she can view you in a different light.

By the way, who paid for your two degrees? Who was supporting the household while you were updating your career in mid-life?

It's fairly clear as to what happened here.

It's a fuck of a lot cheaper to stay married. That is all.

I have never said I wasnt at fault in any of this, I fully admit I wasnt the best husband, I was an artist before she met me, and she accepted that all through our marriage, and would of been fine fine with me doing that if I had chosen, the money at times far exceeded her income and at times I carried the family.

It was me that decided to make all these changes to myself and better myself, go back to school and get an education (While still tattooing full time, and going to school full time for three years straight), in order to be a different man for her and my family, to get myself to a point where she didnt have to work anymore like in the beginning when we first met. I took it upon myself to do these things, she didnt approve when I did.

Along with deciding to better myself since I wasnt getting any younger, I made sure I took out my school loans and grants all in my own name I was trying to not risk her with the debt, I was thinking of her house, and that was my selling point when we talked about it. never did I ever stop working and never did I attach her to my actions financially, I was trying to think of her.

I have never been a burden in this marriage, an always given 90% of whatever I had, always.

The issue is I have a problem being me, strutting, posing, posturing,.....abusing my wives tolerance of my flirtatiousness, and being a tattoo artist piercer didnt help none, and she is of the mind that she is over it, and its time to try and be her own person without me. I understand I am reaping what I had sown, and how long should I expect a woman, a good woman who out up with a big kid for so many years, to the point where she is handing the man she has been with for the past 17 years divorce papers on Christmas eve, I get it, Im just hurt and needed a place to turn to somewhat anonymous outside my immediate circle to listen, and maybe help me figure out the best way for everyone to come out of this as peaceful as possible, equally I hope.

Im sorry if I gave you a bad taste in your mouth,...you dont have to be hurtful..

My guess is that the real reason for the divorce is precisely because you were becoming more independent from her financially by increasing your earning ability.

Now she couldn't control you as easily.

It's usually the woman that does but I've seen it before.


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As soon as the problems surface, you should have slowly migrated assets into a trust or liquidated assets to purchase stealth wealth.

When everything was in order, YOU should have dropped papers on her yesterday.

Op listen, from what you said about her dropping the papers in your lap tells me she's angry and trying to hurt you. I don't think she really wants to go through with a divorce because if she truly didn't care any more she wouldn't try to hurt you. She just wouldn't care.

Now that said, you're treading some tricky waters right now. I think you have a chance but you have to proceed the right way. Act weak and whiney and she'll keep pushing your buttons. Get pissed off and angry and it will push her away. You need to be kind, patient and act relaxed. But make sure she knows that a divorce is not something you want.

Once you get your second chance you better make it count. This could be your last one.

My 2 cents.