[link to www.fulleffectmagazine.com]

It’s that time of year again. Jack-O-Lanterns are being carved, candy is being bought in such mass amounts that you would think that it was going to stop being made, little children are walking door to door as angels and demons (however, it is in the experience of this author, that all little children are demons, no matter the season) asking for the previously mentioned candy, and the television is chock-full of scary movies.

And then there develops this problem… with all these movies to view, which ones are truly worth watching? Have no fear, because listed below are the 10 Halloween-esque Movies To See Before You DIE. Dun dun duuuunnn….

10 – The Fog, 1980
Yes, they just made a new version of The Fog, starring the hunkalicious Tom Welling of TV’s Smallville, but for Western students and Bowling Green residents, it is John Carpenter’s version of The Fog that needs to be viewed. The director, John Carpenter, lived in Bowling Green and even attended Western for two years. In one scene, you can see the deadly fog looming up street, the names in the order that they are in Bowling Green. Ironically enough, Elm Street is one of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, killer fog. Real scary, I know, but check it out sometime.

9 – Hocus Pocus, 1993
Fine, I’ll admit it. I am not a scary movie kind of girl. And I know that I’m not the only one out there. Not all Halloween-esque movies have to be scary. Mary Kate and Ashley’s Double Double, Toil and Trouble, I’m looking in your direction. Hocus Pocus brings together a hauntingly (check out that pun; that’s one of many) good cast: Bette Midler, who is great at pretty much everything, Kathy Najimy, who makes some of the best facial expressions out there, and Sarah Jessica Parker, who sings in this movie, which is quite possibly the scariest part of the entire film. For those unfamiliar with Hocus Pocus, the gist is this: a virgin lights a cursed candle and Midler, Najimy, and Parker rise from the grave and attempt to suck the lives out of children so that they can live forever. You know the guy who lit the candle is safe because, as horror films have taught us, virgins never die.

8 – Poltergeist, 1982
They’re here. More importantly than the ghosts, Coach Hayden Fox is in the house. I know it’s wrong to associate an actor to just one role but, come on, it’s Craig T. Nelson; he is Coach Fox. If Luther and Dauber had cameo roles, this film would be number one on the list. (Granted Poltergeist was made before Coach, but still.) In its defense, Poltergeist brings with it some of the most overused quotes of all time. “They’re here…”, “Head toward the light,” and “This house is clean.” While this may not be the best movie ever made, it is worth viewing merely for the pop culture references. And Coach!

7 – Scary Movie, 2000
The original tagline of Scary Movie was “No mercy. No shame. No sequel.” Six years and three more movies later, we can safely assume that the tagline is terribly incorrect. The Scary Movie franchise did exactly what they were making fun of others for doing. Still, we love them. I’m going to make a stand right here and say that the first Scary Movie is the best. Shawn and Marlon Wayans did to horror films what Weird Al does to pop music: beat it in the face with its own absurdity. And I applaud them for it. And then I laugh at the vulgarity of the film. And you should laugh too.

6 – Scream/I Know What You Did Last Summer/other teen horror films
All the movies that Scary Movie made fun of goes here. I have seen the full Scream trilogy, be proud of me for that one. And I’m not going to lie, I actually like the Scream movies. At least the first and last one. Sure, the plot’s a little, what’s the word, non-existent. But every now and then, it’s nice to sit back and watch people be afraid of the phone.

5 – The Birds, 1963; Psycho, 1960
Hitchcock was the master of scary movies that hit the human psyche because, lets face it, a bunch of birds isn’t necessarily scary. But Hitchcock, in all of his awesomeness, makes those birds terrifying. The Birds may also cause you to take a second glance at the blue-jay sitting outside your window. Then there’s Psycho which some will argue as the best scary movie of all time. It is also one of the best examples of why a girl should always fear a Momma’s Boy.

4 – Friday the 13th, 1980
Ooh, it’s time for Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon! Yes, Kevin Bacon was an unfortunate victim of Jason’s revenge. Friday the 13th is such a classic in so many ways. What’s really scary is that a movie can be considered classic when it’s only six years older than me. Anyway, Jason is seeking revenge against the campers at Crystal Lake. Boats overturn, people die, Kevin Bacon gets killed. You can’t miss this movie.

3 – The Exorcist, 1973
Considered one of the scariest movies ever, The Exorcist ranks in at number three on the list. When a demon enters the body of a young girl, the doctors put the child’s fate in God’s hands and order her up an exorcism. The fact the kid’s head spins around and she vomits pea soup (and not to mention all of the swearing) makes this film worth watching. Well, as soon as you finish reading this list that is.

2 – Texas Chainsaw Massacre, 1974
The thing about Texas Chainsaw Massacre that makes it so absolutely terrifying is that it’s (sort of) based on a true story. In 1957, police in Wisconsin arrived at Ed Gein’s farmhouse and found some of the most gruesome knick knacks, for lack of better words, ever seen. While Texas Chainsaw Massacre doesn’t base a character solely on Gein, he is definitely a twisted inspiration for the film. His, um, characteristics have been seen in other movies as well: Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho as Norman Bates and Buffalo Bill from The Silence of the Lambs.

1 - Halloween, 1978
What? You thought I wasn’t going to make a list of Halloween-esque movies without including Halloween? Come on, the terror is baked right into the title. Like The Fog, Halloween is yet another film directed (and written) by John Carpenter. Take note that the institution that Michael Myers escaped from is Smith’s Grove Warren County Sanitarium. Creepy. Halloween is considered to be one of the best horror films of all time. And I am not about to deny the movie its title as the number one Halloween-esque movie to see before you DIE!!!
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!