I Would Like To Visit An Asian Massage Parlor But

half past never. Get yourself to church instead

I tried that. No hot girls approached and wanted to have sex with me. They all tried to give me bibles, but I already have one.

I've tried the church thing, and the school thing, and the dance thing, but no girl wants sex, so the Asian massage parlor seems like the best chance, before I forget how.

Just take alot of cash, they will do the rest. Sideways pussy is great

Just paint a Hello Kitty face on it... Japs and Chins love Hello Kitty.

a bottle of Jergins hand lotion will solve all your problems.

How much cash? What's the best way to get intimate rather than just a stupid massage?

did you read it? No sex until married. which eliminates Asian "massage" parlors. Get better morals.

Nope. It's not about getting off. I can do that anytime. It's about being entwined with a hot girl and feeling her all over me, and me inside her. THEN getting off would feel good, knowing that I came inside her.

I've been married more than once, and they all left after getting bored. My morals are just fine for me. I always treat a woman well, and am kind to her. I tried to read the bible thing, but it's just confusing and takes too much time. I don't really like it anyway, so it's the wrong religion for me. I'd marry again, but not until I'm sure she's OK in bed and wants to live for me, as I do for her.

Why is it that as soon as I post a question about fulfilling my legitimate sexual need, I get the God-driven sex police?

If I ask about changing a brake rotor or some-such, I never get the bible types telling me to stop working on my car and read a bible!

Which church would you say gives the best "happy endings"?

Be sure to ask for the prostate message

I see pictures of very pretty girls that do the massages. Are they really that pretty?

dude..even if you are good looking, they don't give a fuck about you..just your relatively small stack of twenties. And personally, I wouldn't make out with some chick that just blew 5 guys before me

I never expected that she'd care for me, and I'm OK if she just wants the money, as long as she can fake it well enough for me to believe. I wonder if I get there early, I could be the first customer of the day, and she'd be happier with me.

Yes, as long as we were both clean and gargled, I'd love to make out with her.

What's with the one stars? This is an important subject and I'm seeking useful answers that are of value to the community. I'm sure we can all learn something.

Has anyone here experienced a typical Asian massage parlor?

yeah getting sexual advice from Christians is like getting automotive advice from a turtle

The porn demons have given you porn for your sexual needs. Be grateful.

My god all girls have.

You forgot to log in Goat!!

LOL.

I went to one once. I actually just wanted a massage. My back hurt and I was tense. I told them three times I ONLY wanted a massage. Bitch raped me.

Next time just say "Yeah you're right. I should release my tension the right way. By killing the people that made me tense. Like they did in the old testament."

OK, let's assume she massaged 10 guys and nailed half of them......today. You really want to get in line?

Even if she "freshened up" it would be at a sink, not in a shower.


So the best time of day to go would be easiest to decide by figuring out what number car you want to be on that train.

Find a girlfriend!

Last Edited by Whiskey*Tango on 07/06/2016 08:22 PM

yes church ladt you are so right tryin ta get laid on online booty call you would not be onthere wouda you .

Are you asking how those places work?

O have mo idea. I almost went into one thinking it was a regular massage studio. The sign didn't look right. It was lavender neon, lol, but this is Indiana. It just wasnt right so I left. Then I'm the might I suddenly flashed on the sign. There were Chinese characters but they were too small to read so they were just decoration, meaning "oriental" whoo boo. Probably had the sign just said oriental massage od have thought it meant like chinese medicine.

So google the name of the place and find out what is on the menu as it were.

Assume sex is illegal. Don't ask for anything bit a massage. Let her offer and accept what you choose.

Be very clean. Super scrubbed. Wash behind all your eara. Drink plenty of water. Don't eat stinky food. Eat vegetablea. No perfumes pr colognes or body sprays. Use plain wqhite soap. Smelling clean is muchpre important than looking groomed. Wash your hair and use no product. She may be a prostitute but she is still a woman and you want her to enjoy her work as much as possible.

Be nice. Be mellow. Be passive. Let her do what she likes to do. She doesnt know you. Let her get used to you.

Tip well always.

When you find one you really like of you let her lead and get used to you I'm sure it will all fall into place. As it were.

I hope you find a nice friend. Sex is the energy that heals the energy of the world. Thank you for your Willimgness to do your part.


Now tell me, do you also get a real massage on these places?/ just curious.

I almost walked into one by mistake. I am a fair martial artist for a woman so I wouldnt have got raped but it would NOT have helped the crick in my neck. What a mess that would have been.

Now you are just being obtuse. You want twenties. How many depends on where you live.

In Kentucky you might need fives. Avoid the places where you can use EBT.