Say something funny!

Why does Hillary always try to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning? She wants to be the first lady.

Q: What's grey, has big ears, a tail and a trunk ?

A: A mouse going on vacation.

Also an elephant...

Or a grey Kangaroo...

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar. Donald leans over, non-alcoholic cocktail in hand, and says, “Boy, Hillary. The media are sure tearing you a new one over that scandal.”
“You mean my lying about Benghazi?” Hillary said.
"No, the other one,” Trump responded.
“No, the other one.”
“You mean the massive voter fraud?”
"You mean the military not getting their votes counted?”
“No, the other one.”
“Using my secret private server with classified material to hide my activities?”
“No, the other one.”
The NSA monitoring our phone calls, emails and everything else?”
“No, the other one.”
“Using the Clinton Foundation as a cover for tax evasion, hiring cronies, and taking bribes from foreign countries?"
“No, the other one.”
“You mean the drones being operated in our own country without the benefit of the law?”
“No, the other one.”
“Giving 123 Technologies $300 Million, and right afterward it declared bankruptcy and was sold to the Chinese?”
“No, the other one.”
“You mean arming the Muslim Brotherhood and hiring them in the White House?”
“No, the other one.”
The funding of neo-nazis in the Ukraine that led to the toppling of the democratically elected president and to the biggest crisis that country has had since WWII?”
“No, the other one.”
“Being the mastermind of the so-called ‘Arab Spring’ that only brought chaos, death and destruction to the Middle East and North Africa?”
"Leaving four Americans to die in Benghazi and go to sleep?”
“No, the other one.”
“Trashing Mubarak, one of our few Muslim friends?”
“No, the other one.”
“The funding and arming of terrorists in Syria, the destruction and destabilization of that nation, giving the order to our lapdogs in Turkey and Saudi Arabia to give Sarin gas to the ‘moderate’ terrorists in Syria that they eventually used on civilians, and framed Assad, making it so that had it not been for the Russians and Putin, we would have used that as a pretext to invade Syria, put a puppet in power, steal their natural resources, and leave that country in total chaos, just like we did with Libya?”
“No, the other one.”
“The creation of the biggest refugee crisis since World War II?”
“No, the other one.”
“The DOJ spying on the press?”
“No, the other one.”
“You mean HHS Secretary Sibelius shaking down health insurance executives?"
“No, the other one.”
“Giving our cronies in Solyndra $500 MILLION DOLLARS and 3 Months Later they declared bankruptcy and then the Chinese bought it?”
"The NSA monitoring citizens?”
“No, the other one.”
“The State Department interfering with an Inspector General investigation on departmental sexual misconduct?”
"No,the other one.”
“Me, The IRS, Clapper and Holder all lying to Congress?”
“No, the other one.”
“Threats to all of Bill’s former mistresses to keep them quiet?
“No, the other one.”
“I give up! … oh wait, I think I’ve got it! When I stole the White House furniture, silverware, when Bill left office?”
“THAT’S IT! I almost forgot about that one,” Trump said.