New York Times to Merge with National Enquirer

In an official statement the New York Times confirmed that they will be merging operations with that of the National Enquirer.

A New York Times spokesman said "It just fits well, both publications write hugely exaggerated stories and twist small kernels of truth into something completely different and sensationalized. Heck sometimes we just make shit up."

He went on to say. "Everyone knows that these days most major publications just pull things out of our ass when we have nothing to write about. That and we both like to write the stories that pay us good money...I mean who wouldn't. It just makes sense for our two organizations to work together in these difficult times. "

He concluded the press conference by showing a copy of the next day's edition with the headline reading "Trump a Time Traveler? Hitler's Father?"

See what I mean, the synergies are insane.