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Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location

 
Solve_et_Coagula
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02/04/2007 03:36 PM
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Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location

Saturday, February 03 2007 @ 04:23 PM GMT+6

By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor

A Blue Ridge Mountains Boy Scout troop accidentally discovered Vice President Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" last week, a press officer with Boy Scouts of America said. The troop, consisting of a Scoutmaster and 17 boys from the region who were planning to camp for the night in the heavily wooded area, reportedly found the undisclosed location while hunting for shelter during a sudden hailstorm.

"We were heading to a nice clearing near Brushy Mountain we've used before when the squall hit," Pete Pubert, Scoutmaster for the troop, said. "Motto or no motto, we weren't ready for hailstones the size of jawbreakers, so we quickly scanned the area for a cave, some heavy trees, anything that could provide shelter. That's when one of the boys noticed a big steel door built into the side of the mountain. Right next to a helipad, which you don't usually see in the Blue Ridge."

According to Mr. Pubert, he and the 17 boys in the troop, whose names are being withheld pending parental notification, worked together to pull open the door and hurried inside.

"I don't know what we expected to find, but Dick Cheney shooting nine-ball in his boxer shorts sure as heck wasn't it," Mr. Pubert said.

Mr. Pubert described the vice president's official hideaway as "a really palatial, manly kind of place, with a lot of dead animals on the walls. High vaulted ceilings, tons of brass and oak. I think I counted about 900 quail heads. There was a big TV, lots of fancy-looking electronics stuff, an X-box. Pool table, foosball, two-lane bowling alley. Huge bar with really top-shelf liquor. Some voodoo dolls that looked like democratic senators. Top-of-the-line ICU. A lot of shiny latex stuff toward the back with what looked like maybe weight-lifting equipment, but it could have been something else. It was pretty dark in there."

Mr. Cheney, Mr. Pubert said, was "a little gruff at first, but then he sort of softened up and gave us all the Scout Salute and a quick tour of the place."

"He made me promise not to tell anybody where the undisclosed location is," Mr. Pubert said, "other than to say that it's about a half-hour chopper ride from the Mall. Then he took a shotgun and pushed me back out the door and slammed it shut."

The 17 members of the scout troop, Mr. Pubert said, are "in good health and are supposed to be released pretty soon."

"He said he'd just hold on to the boys until he felt sure I could keep my mouth shut about where the undisclosed location is. Also, there's some interrogation techniques he'd like to try out. I'm sure they'll be fine. He's got a good heart."

[link to www.avantnews.com]

[link to hiddenmysteries.net]
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 186233
United States
02/04/2007 03:52 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Check out the date on this article.

Virginia Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Temporally realigned by admin on 2007/2/2 11:49:10 (1077 reads)
By Ion Zwitter, Avant News Editor
Roanoke, Virginia, March 12, 2008

A Blue Ridge Mountains Boy Scout troop accidentally discovered Vice President Dick Cheney's "undisclosed location" last week, a press officer with Boy Scouts of America said. The troop, consisting of a Scoutmaster and 17 boys from the region who were planning to camp for the night in the heavily wooded area, reportedly found the undisclosed location while hunting for shelter during a sudden hailstorm.
_Q_

User ID: 191139
Croatia
02/04/2007 03:55 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
I would like to take time in hell for eternity just to enjoy killing that bastard very, very slow...
Anonymous Coward
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02/04/2007 03:55 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Also, the last pargraph in this article makes me want to puke. Cheney doesn't have a heart.

"He said he'd just hold on to the boys until he felt sure I could keep my mouth shut about where the undisclosed location is. Also, there's some interrogation techniques he'd like to try out. I'm sure they'll be fine. He's got a good heart."
_Q_

User ID: 191139
Croatia
02/04/2007 03:56 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Cheney doesn't have a heart.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 186233


exactly, he is a (cy)borg...
The Monk
User ID: 189175
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02/04/2007 03:59 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Uh, this has to be a joke right? LOL.
Anonymous Coward
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02/04/2007 04:00 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Cheney doesn't have a heart.


exactly, he is a (cy)borg...
 Quoting: _Q_


Well Q I think your being to kind. He's also a psychopathic murderer.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 156429
United States
02/04/2007 04:06 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
You guys cant see a joke article when you see one eh?

iamwith
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02/04/2007 04:07 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Must have been a scary sight. Those poor people. I wouldn't want to catch a glimpse of Cheney in his boxer shorts either.
Dreams will begin as they fade into chaos.
_Q_

User ID: 191139
Croatia
02/04/2007 04:10 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Cheney doesn't have a heart.


exactly, he is a (cy)borg...


Well Q I think your being to kind. He's also a psychopathic murderer.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 186233


yeah, like I said on another thread, I like to be called names...

in the Cheney drunk borg case I'd would be honoured to be called psychopathic murderer too...

'it' (Cheney) deserves it...
Mr. Predictor
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User ID: 83143
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02/04/2007 04:13 PM

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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
Must have been a scary sight. Those poor people. I wouldn't want to catch a glimpse of Cheney in his boxer shorts either.
 Quoting: SpectrumBlue



poor kids

:bd:
6473madburger

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." - Winston Churchill
observant
User ID: 110457
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02/04/2007 04:39 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
I think it was Tucker Carlson who said that every time he
sees Cheney he thinks of an old geezer yelling "Hey you kids
get off of my lawn!". I can just picture that with the
scouts now.

BTW, "deadpan satire" is right. I tend to prefer The Onion.
 Quoting: DrPostman


"Hey you kids get off of my lawn!"

was a quote from Jon Stewart
Careful
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02/04/2007 04:42 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
I hope none of the Boy Scouts got shot in the face "accidentally" by the VP. He is known to have an itchy trigger finger.
Mr. Predictor
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User ID: 83143
United States
02/04/2007 04:43 PM

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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
God bless the Boy Scouts
6473madburger

"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of miseries." - Winston Churchill
Anonymous Coward
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United States
02/04/2007 05:57 PM
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Re: Boy Scouts Stumble on Cheney's Undisclosed Location
:bd:

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