Sitting in the toilet crying

[link to youtu.be (secure)]

sing christmas carols

Eat a whole can of asparagus, for dessert have a green apple. That will fix you right up.

OP, are you literally shaking?

Push harder. It's make-or-break time. You can push the brown baby out if you are strong enough.

Tears are just weakness leaving your body. Ignore them.

Drink salt water flush, prop your feet on a squatty potty. Drink water in an hour. USe a spoon or some sort of forceps. What? Its' an illusion that you're constipated, all these gay guys on glp...

Hey OP, you're full of shit!

400ml prune juice, it works.

You're not supposed to sit in the toilet.

OP, do a video chat with your girlfriend.

One tablespoon of epsom salt in about a pint of water... drink that. Make sure you drink lots of water afterwards too.

Guaranteed you'll be completely cleaned out in about 2 to 3 hours. Be sure to eat some yogurt when finished.

there's absolutely NO REASON for anyone in this day & age to be constipated.


oh wait, I forgot......all the CRAP people eat that they THINK IS FOOD isn't;

OK???

fast foods, processed this and processed that.

so when's the last time you ate a REAL VEGGIE OR FRUIT?

- sigh -

but I feel I shouldn't be lecturing you, even though I want to.

YOU MUST START BY EATING SOME FRESH VEGGIES BEFORE LUNCH AND SUPPER.

A HANDFUL of baby carrots, a stick of celery, doesn't have to be a lot.......

try to have some beans every day, too; even 1/4 a cup a day with those veggies will help.

AND THEN......you can always resort to good ol 'dried plums' as they call them nowadays; eat 5 of them before EACH MEAL.

that and the veggies would be a great start for you.

it's what I do and I'm regular......and at 75, too!! lol.

you HAVE TO DRINK WATER BUT NOT THAT bullshit about '8 glasses a day'.

who the FUCK dreamed that up?

GET YOURSELF A WATER BOTTLE.......you'll find yourself drinking a little more each day.......not gallons, but it'll be drinking it on a regular basis,
which is important.

BUT DO TAKE A GOOD LONG LOOK AT your eating habits.

keep a little food log; right down what you eat each meal..
try not to eat the same things day in and day out; your body needs a VARIETY OF FOODS.

hope I don't come across as 'preachy' but this is a very important subject and not to be taken lightly.

and WALK every day; not miles and miles (!!!!) but even 10 - 20 mins. a day is a big help.

I'm sure as hell no athlete, but even I manage that!!

and GIVE YOUR BODY TIME TO ADJUST>

AND give all the food you eat a good, long look; try to imagine what your body has to go thru to digest some of the crap we all eat; yeah, me too. but I'm getting better!!

so end of lecture.

DO TRY THESE THINGS. THEY SURE AS HELL CAN'T HURT YOU.

it's all about forming new habits, which are a real pain in the ass....no pun!!!........but in the long run, YOU WILL BENEFIT FROM THESE SUGGESTIONS.

AND.

NOTHING WORTHWHILE IS EVER EASY

(DARN IT!)

BEST wishes.

:-D:cool2:

Lay out some deli ham for about a week, then consume.

That'll get ya goin'....

Try sitting ON the toilet instead on of sitting in it

Salty cabbage soup

jumping jacks till you gotta go.. or run/jog.. it will loosen shit up