Post your jokes!

Nothing?

we're all serious people in here, we don't like jokes.

What do you call Obama, out of the White House?



Sqwark: Sir, Mr Trump, target acquired...

What do you call Obama, today?





Unemployed.

Where's the safest place on Earth?




There isn't one, if your name is Barack.

Why did Obama cross the road?




To get the fuck away from you lot!

A dude was standing next to the river with his dick hanging in the water.

A libtard walked past him and asked: "Watcha doin?"

The dude answered: "I'm catching cunts."

The libtard asked: "How many have you caught so far?"

The dude answered: "You're the first one."

What did Jeffrey Dahmer say to Lorena Bobbie?

Err, hey you gonna eat that???

*Bobbit
Lorena Bobbit

good god have some respect..the man is dead

A vacationing penguin is driving his car through Arizona when he notices that the oil pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big dish of ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands he makes a real mess trying to eat with his flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream!"

Why did Obama cross the road? Because his dick was stuck up the chickens ass

What do you call a Habanero dipped in chocolate?


HOT CHOCOLATE!

bumpity bump...



:bumfph:

a man finds a suitcase while walking in the park .
he opens it and sees 4 cats in there . not sure what to do he calls animal welfare . the welfare girl takes the details and then asks the man 'are the cats moving '?
man replies ' i dunno but that would explain the suitcase '.

how do you tittilate an ocelot ?
oscillate its tit alot .

whats the difference between broccoli and snot ?
kids won't eat broccoli .

womens rights

oxymoron . - womens wrongs ?

your suppose to say, wana hear a joke? and say womens rights, then you laugh, its a non australian thing i guess

a nurse goes to grab a pen out of her top pocket .
she only finds a rectal thermometer - looks at it and says - some asshole has my pen .

sorry - us aussies just don't get the whole joke thing .

there was 2 canadians milling about on opposite sides of a river . they kept looking around and milling about until one yells out 'HOW DO I GET TO THE OTHER SIDE'?
the other canadian replies 'YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE OTHER SIDE'

dont worry at least ur not like the germans

no matter how kind you are - german children are kinder .

I never seen a chicken walk across any road