Abortions have "sucked" the life out of me

My first girlfriend was pregnant when I met her, cried rape while drunk and all that BS. She didn't tell me til I'd lost my virginity to her, but that's another topic. Anyhow, she got me to go to her abortion with her and I've been impotent ever since that day almost 26years ago.
Later on, maybe 10 years ago, I learned my mom cheated on her first husband with a black guy, got pregnant, and had an abortion (early 1960's). I always knew she was crazy and trying to prove something, but I never knew why until I was already the firstborn male child to a man-hating narcissist who got everything out on me she couldn't get out on grown men.