#1 we are both in our late 30's and both divorced. So we are not children and we have been in long term relationships before.


Yes the feminist friends was a good call Grumpier. Seems between facebook friends, and reality tv. She used to smoke a lot of marijuana and just be mellow and goofy. now she is changing. becoming more materialistic and just nastier to everyone. she lashes out at people on the subway or yells at people while driving in a car. She has just become a nasty woman.

the back story is

we decided to separate in 2012 and she moved in with her parents again taking my young daughter. I was not happy but it was what was best at the time I think. In 2014 we both got jobs and moved away to a different state down south. We struggled at first with paying the bills but it started to work it self out.

Neither of us were in love with our new town down south after 2 years so we decided to move back and her parents agreed to let us stay with them rent free till we found our own place. We provided our own food and paid for the water/electrical used. Neither of us had a job but we figured we were moving back to a big city that we knew so it shouldn't be an issue. I was worried about changing my daughter's school b/c the schools are awful here.

I was hired first for about a month but the company was sold and i was let go. I didn't find any work for another 3 months. It was a government job so there was a lot of waiting for background checks and fingerprints to come back. She had found 3 jobs and decided to quit all 3 after only a few weeks. She said she didn't feel comfortable in any of them and didn't like them.

Her mother and 3 former high school friends seemed to be getting into her head that I was a no good out of work bum. We fought a few times and the mother got involved. I was respectful and let her mother vent and speak down to me. I explained I was waiting for my background check process to finish so i could get this government job and her mother told me to go get on welfare b/c i need money to be coming in. I was getting pissed that this woman was getting involved in our life and offering horrible ideas at the same time. (there is a language barrier of sorts between me and her mother) I was providing for myself and my daughter with the little savings I had so nobody was going out of pocket.

In January we had another large argument and this time her mother stormed down the stairs and demanded I move out. I didn't have much to say. It wasn't my house and of course she would side with her child. I was pissed b/c I knew I was gonna not see my daughter regularly. My girlfriend was very angry and just wanted me leave. She began posting anti man sayings on her facebook page and went out drinking with her 3 high school friends. I was a little surprised b/c she isn't a drinker.

Since mid Feb she has gotten a job but the problem is she is spending what she earns on things like shoes, cell phones, and clothes. She recently told me her parents are selling the house and she will have to move out with my young daughter. This made me worried b/c she isn't saving any money to afford an apartment. She is wasting on non essential items.

I explained to her to get an apartment takes a few months rent. I eplained you need about 2-3 thousand dollars to put down to even get in the apartment. Of course this angered her

My daughter always had her own bedroom and her own space. Now my girlfriend thinks it's ok to share a room with my daughter. She is talking about getting a 1 bedroom apartment. I was pissed and told her my daughter deserves better than that.

We are back on speaking terms but she still has this negative anti man attitude. It is very touch and go with her and the slightest thing can set her off.

I want my daughter back in my life everyday not just once a week. I miss her I miss doing her school work with her and watching her laugh when she watched cartoons. It just seems like my girlfriend has said so many bad things about me to her mother and her friends that she would look like an asshole if she got back together with me. Like she painted herself into a corner.

I have eaten a lot of crow and held my tongue so many times for the good of my daughter that I feel almost lobotomized by the entire process. I want to tell my girlfriend to cut it the hell out and grow up and tell her mother to mind her own damn business and worry about her own life and stop interfering in my mine.


I am willing to do what I need to do to make daughter happy and have a better life than mine. When I visit her she doesn't want me to leave and she gets upset and it hurts my heart to see my daughter sad. I just feel their is so many outside influences affecting my girlfriend (her mother, her friends, tv) that I am fighting a very steep uphill battle.

Now I live about an hour away and it cost about 50 bucks in tolls and gas to visit my daughter for 4-5 hours a week. I can't keep this up and I fear I will lose everything in this process.

I am miserable in my new job but I need to keep it for the $$$ I miss my daughter and my girlfriend is a different person who i really don't know anymore. like she changed over night.

as weird as it sounds I have called her an archon a few times. Like someone jumped inside her and possessed her to get back at me.


any advice? any help? any guidance?

sorry for the long story but I wanted to get it all down so you could help.