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Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting

 
Slightly Disgruntled
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 03:40 PM
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Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Last week I was forced to travel to work on a Train in India. The carriages were so over-packed that people were having to take shorter breaths during the journey, due to the crush. I was crushed in inbetween three sweaty pigs whose B.O. would have shamed Satan.
Two minutes into the journey and it began. I heard a sort of strangled quack, and realised immediately that some inhuman monster had let out a seriously diahorretic fart. About 6 seconds later and we were subjected to the most vile, weird smelling bowel gas that the human species has ever breathed in. Then immediately another selfish an utter filthy beast let off another fart with an absolutely and utterly rancid stench.
And so it went on for the whole 40 minute journey.
The native `people` didnt bat an eyelid about the monstrous and evil smells that were being subjected upon us. We were forced to breathe almost pure fart for two minutes at a time, and couldnt move because we were all pinned in. People were riding on the carriage outside and were staring in at us like we were paintings.
Slightly Disgruntled (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 03:44 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 61750472
United States
02/07/2017 03:55 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Last week I was forced to travel to work on a Train in India. The carriages were so over-packed that people were having to take shorter breaths during the journey, due to the crush. I was crushed in inbetween three sweaty pigs whose B.O. would have shamed Satan.
Two minutes into the journey and it began. I heard a sort of strangled quack, and realised immediately that some inhuman monster had let out a seriously diahorretic fart. About 6 seconds later and we were subjected to the most vile, weird smelling bowel gas that the human species has ever breathed in. Then immediately another selfish an utter filthy beast let off another fart with an absolutely and utterly rancid stench.
And so it went on for the whole 40 minute journey.
The native `people` didnt bat an eyelid about the monstrous and evil smells that were being subjected upon us. We were forced to breathe almost pure fart for two minutes at a time, and couldnt move because we were all pinned in. People were riding on the carriage outside and were staring in at us like we were paintings.
 Quoting: Slightly Disgruntled 71687197




We tried to control their birthrate with free condoms but they kept falling off because they fit too loosely.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:01 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
We tried to control their birthrate with free condoms but they kept falling off because they fit too loosely.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 61750472



lmao


They would probably then poo in them and drink it.
ChipModerator
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02/07/2017 04:19 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
We tried to control their birthrate with free condoms but they kept falling off because they fit too loosely.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 61750472



lmao


They would probably then poo in them and drink it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71687197


indianprogrammer

Last Edited by Chip on 02/07/2017 04:19 PM
"I don't give a tuppenny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit-sack." ~Bill the Butcher

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 Quoting:
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70489320
United States
02/07/2017 04:25 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
And shame on any American who does not want to open our doors to let tens of millions of third worlders into this country

The elites have their private islands, private planes, underground transportations, multiple mansions...the rest of us get to cram in and fight for space
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 65696907
United States
02/07/2017 04:25 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Only peasants use public transportation and breathe liquid farts...
With freedom comes responsibility.

Science: The subtle worship of God through the study of His creation.

There is no God for the atheist.

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:25 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
:indianprogrammer:
 Quoting: Chip


OMG that looks like an indian own brand of coca-cola. Excremental and rotting corpse water from the holy river Ganges.
Deplorablemeeeeeeeee!​

User ID: 73523719
United States
02/07/2017 04:28 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
My father inlaw got desintary there on a Christian mission....! He thought he was going to die..::: don't let any of the locals boil your water for you
BRIEF
Rebel with morals

User ID: 65696907
United States
02/07/2017 04:37 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Indianschoolbus
With freedom comes responsibility.

Science: The subtle worship of God through the study of His creation.

There is no God for the atheist.

Briefcut4892
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:38 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
My father inlaw got desintary there on a Christian mission....! He thought he was going to die..::: don't let any of the locals boil your water for you
 Quoting: Deplorablemeeeeeeeee!


I can believe it. They stop in the street, no matter where they are or whom is about, pull their pants down or lift their dresses up and do it on the floor.
Starbird

User ID: 16424329
United States
02/07/2017 04:40 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
My father inlaw got desintary there on a Christian mission....! He thought he was going to die..::: don't let any of the locals boil your water for you
 Quoting: Deplorablemeeeeeeeee!


I can believe it. They stop in the street, no matter where they are or whom is about, pull their pants down or lift their dresses up and do it on the floor.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 71687197


I saw an old grandma one do this in the middle of Disney World.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70489320
United States
02/07/2017 04:41 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
OMG!

I feel bad for you OP...I totally know what you had to go through!

We werr traveling on a 12 hour flight from Bombay to London. Half the people on the flight were Indian and it smelled bad already

I'm sure you know...They don't shower very often and they don't use deodorant and rarely use shampoo.

But the Indian woman and man next to us ..! The woman was wearing a long dress/sari. Indians don't wear underwear and they don't use toilet paper


So we got to smell stinky armpit and urine for 12 hours. We literally covered our noses and mouths with our blankets the whole trip. They didn't notice us gagging, as Indian people seem like theyre spaced out all the time.

Funny you mentioned the Indians were staring at you like you wee a painting. Totally know what that's like, lol

But our experience was nowhere as bad as what you went through!!

Oh, and they have no concept of personal space. People standing in line are so close to each other, that they're literally breathing on the person's neck in front of them

We would have to hold our arms out, as if pushing them back, in order to get some space
Starbird

User ID: 16424329
United States
02/07/2017 04:42 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
I really don't understand the population of that Nation.
Advanced in some ways, yoga, meditation, the Vedas - but, but, but - now.

Its the same way with Egypt. What happened to the advanced of earlier days?
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:42 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
:Indianschoolbus:
 Quoting: BRIEF



lmao

What on earth is that? And how many are packed inside it. Looks like he has parked outside the butchers to sell them as meat. And then have a sh*t outside the shop.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 71428258
United States
02/07/2017 04:42 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
:Indianschoolbus:
 Quoting: BRIEF


Great photo of and Indian 'long bus'.


You should see their short bus.


.
Starbird

User ID: 16424329
United States
02/07/2017 04:43 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
OMG!

I feel bad for you OP...I totally know what you had to go through!

We werr traveling on a 12 hour flight from Bombay to London. Half the people on the flight were Indian and it smelled bad already

I'm sure you know...They don't shower very often and they don't use deodorant and rarely use shampoo.

But the Indian woman and man next to us ..! The woman was wearing a long dress/sari. Indians don't wear underwear and they don't use toilet paper


So we got to smell stinky armpit and urine for 12 hours. We literally covered our noses and mouths with our blankets the whole trip. They didn't notice us gagging, as Indian people seem like theyre spaced out all the time.

Funny you mentioned the Indians were staring at you like you wee a painting. Totally know what that's like, lol

But our experience was nowhere as bad as what you went through!!

Oh, and they have no concept of personal space. People standing in line are so close to each other, that they're literally breathing on the person's neck in front of them

We would have to hold our arms out, as if pushing them back, in order to get some space
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70489320


Do some people lack all sense of smell?
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Watching the dead
Crypt Watcher

User ID: 59092188
United States
02/07/2017 04:45 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
OMG Thanks OP - I needed the laugh


elephant toilet
Ignorance is bliss until reality bites you in the ass.

I take care of the dead.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:45 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
OMG!

I feel bad for you OP...I totally know what you had to go through!

We werr traveling on a 12 hour flight from Bombay to London. Half the people on the flight were Indian and it smelled bad already

I'm sure you know...They don't shower very often and they don't use deodorant and rarely use shampoo.

But the Indian woman and man next to us ..! The woman was wearing a long dress/sari. Indians don't wear underwear and they don't use toilet paper


So we got to smell stinky armpit and urine for 12 hours. We literally covered our noses and mouths with our blankets the whole trip. They didn't notice us gagging, as Indian people seem like theyre spaced out all the time.

Funny you mentioned the Indians were staring at you like you wee a painting. Totally know what that's like, lol

But our experience was nowhere as bad as what you went through!!

Oh, and they have no concept of personal space. People standing in line are so close to each other, that they're literally breathing on the person's neck in front of them

We would have to hold our arms out, as if pushing them back, in order to get some space
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70489320


I can relate to everything you say. It is all so true.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:47 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
OMG Thanks OP - I needed the laugh


:elephant toilet:
 Quoting: Watching the dead


lmao

OMG even the Elephants have diahorrea there, and its doing it in someones front room, on their best sofa chair.
FunnyStrange

User ID: 73601530
United States
02/07/2017 04:48 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
"pure fart" for 2 min , that's insane!
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 04:55 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Aye, almost pure fart for two minutes. That was on top of the B.O.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 59443670
United States
02/07/2017 04:56 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 59443670
United States
02/07/2017 04:58 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
What if our energy was to "reincarnate" and come back in to the physical plane in the body of a dirt poor, rural Indian. (I'm not disparaging Indians; just the conditions in which they live).

We should be grateful for who we are.
Anonymous Coward (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 05:01 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting

 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59443670




lmaolmaolmao

I havent laughed this much in 6 months.
Corkygreenstate
Thank you very much!

User ID: 73948496
United States
02/07/2017 05:15 PM

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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Shit op you should have just rode on top of the damn thing. Probably would have been safer.
The world just might end with me
Slightly Disgruntled (OP)
User ID: 71687197
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 05:19 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Shit op you should have just rode on top of the damn thing. Probably would have been safer.
 Quoting: Corkygreenstate


Aye, it would have been a better idea. I could have topped my tan up whilst breathing essence of Ganges.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 15479598
Canada
02/07/2017 05:35 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
There is definitely no energy shortage over there. Pure methane as good as it gets.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 23291296
Denmark
02/07/2017 05:51 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
Last week I was forced to travel to work on a Train in India. The carriages were so over-packed that people were having to take shorter breaths during the journey, due to the crush. I was crushed in inbetween three sweaty pigs whose B.O. would have shamed Satan.
Two minutes into the journey and it began. I heard a sort of strangled quack, and realised immediately that some inhuman monster had let out a seriously diahorretic fart. About 6 seconds later and we were subjected to the most vile, weird smelling bowel gas that the human species has ever breathed in. Then immediately another selfish an utter filthy beast let off another fart with an absolutely and utterly rancid stench.
And so it went on for the whole 40 minute journey.
The native `people` didnt bat an eyelid about the monstrous and evil smells that were being subjected upon us. We were forced to breathe almost pure fart for two minutes at a time, and couldnt move because we were all pinned in. People were riding on the carriage outside and were staring in at us like we were paintings.
 Quoting: Slightly Disgruntled 71687197

Please write more stories

cruise
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 73945532
United Kingdom
02/07/2017 05:53 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
cultural enrichment
AbleJ

User ID: 73806756
02/07/2017 06:08 PM
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Re: Slightly disgruntled with Indian Railways. RE- The farting
One of the consequences of a mostly vegetarian diet.
Not sure if its the fermentation or what it is, but it produces truly poisonous fumes.


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