Wise Ancient One Giving Relationship Advice Today

Thanks.

Ok. How do you find happiness in a marriage of boredom and hopelessness?

My wife and I have been split up for five months and I tried early on to reconcile. But there was no reciprocation on her part. Now that I filed for divorce she seems like she wants to eventually get back together. But to tell the truth I'm past that now.

What was your marriage even founded on? Do each of you even know and love yourselves? Do you truly know one another? People get bored because they don't know their partner and there is no common ground.

Start by discovering yourself, who you are, what you like. Invite your spouse to do the same. And when you two figure it out...you will be happy individually for knowing yourselves, and you can share that happiness together and boredom/hopelessness will go away.

It sounds like to me that it only became "REAL" to her once the wheels were set in motion. And losing you became something she didn't want.

You were wounded, you moved on in your mind emotionally. The question is, what do you want to do? You want me to tell you what to do? You made a vow. Do you remember it? Did it say, "until I'm past it?" "Until she takes me seriously?".
It sounds like to me that maybe you married for the wrong reasons.
In a world of convenience stores and fast food, we are conditioned to grab what is impulse for us, and when we are done, we move on to the next impulse purchase. Is that you? I mean, be honest with yourself. Do you honestly love her, and fully honor your word? Is the marriage truly unfixable?

I'm feeling like I need to say something. Had my relationship in my head all day. I'm currently with someone, Taurus. He's still not shown any signs of commitment after two and a half years. I'm an Aquarian and I want to feel settled. March talks of an old love from the past reappearing in his life. Today of all days it's supposed to happen. I guess I just need some direction. Big changes ahead for me too. Any advice is much appreciated.

If he hasn't committed in 2-1/2 years then he is keeping you around out of a sense of convenience rather than desire to commit. Why are you waiting for his rejection to be finalized?

Let me tell you a sad story of a woman who waited twenty years...TWENTY...for her boyfriend to commit to her. One day he got a job offer. They said they would only move his household if he was married. So he married her. Then he was fired a month later. She got a ring on her finger, and he was still not content with her.

That could be you. Waiting and waiting. And all the while, wondering when the other shoe will drop and he will leave you for someone he is waiting for to come along?

My advice to you is to know your own worth, and stop letting him consider you as a piece of merchandise in the 75% off sales case.

By the way, that was the story of my exhusband and his girlfriend that he cheated on me with. You want to know the real reason he hadn't married her? In those twenty years, he confessed his love for me. He called me and emailed me weekly for twenty years. In fact, last week, he sent me an email on the day that would've been our twenty-something anniversary, and wished me "Happy Unanniversary". He didn't WANT her. He just didn't want to be alone and he didn't think he could find anyone else because he doesn't know his worth. Funny how long a person will settle for less than what they want.