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I'm barely holding on.

 
chrisvet
Do the Shit out of what you Love

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04/20/2017 01:19 PM

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Re: I'm barely holding on.
I want to get as far away from that incestuous band of lunatics as I can.

If things are as bad in other families - it is getting very bad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41921629


Nephew is a classic sociopath. Sever all ties and never look back.
I had to do it with my big brother 15 years ago. The horror stories top yours by a 10 fold.
Life has never been better.
"Only take advice from those who've done it better than you."

"Success is directly related to the amount of 'correct' bullshit one is willing to endure."
Anonymous Coward
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04/20/2017 01:20 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
I'm barely holding on.

Vomiting ? yak

diarrhea? shitstream

A premature ejaculation?fart


full bladder and not a place to piss!


...groucho
butt
...wine

because after reading your post the title fits more the above!

not the post in itself ...
Starbird

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04/20/2017 01:23 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
War on a drastic scale involving everyone will at least bring the majority of the populace down to a level playing field. I suspect it will happen much sooner than everyone thinks. Perhaps with "everyone" just barely holding on we will all start to realize we need each other and start providing compassion. If not then we all eventually die and the world simply moves on without humans. I personally am of the opinion that world war is very very close to popping off. Once this happens the entire economy will most likely stall or outright cease to function. People will be more concerned with survival than being forced to slave for a paycheck. I am starting to think that the President is angling, or being forced into declaring this war.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59404040


Fat chance of that. Families will be divided.

I get in arguments with my nephew, who is some kind of psychotic weasel. I have always been very generous with him and his sisters since they were small.

A few yeast ago, he was an adult man living in his mother's house, after she had moved out. Living for free, and mostly unemployed.

He ran the house into the ground. Every inch of it was caked with filth and filled with more flies than you can imagine. Almost all of the windows were broken and the doors were falling off their hinges. Water from the pipes was leaking into the dank, and musty basement, which was full of wet clothes on the floor and all sorts of garbage. The bathroom was filthy and completely trashed, with a broken sink and a rotten hole, more than a foot wide right in front of the toilet. The house should have been condemned.

At my own expense, nearly five thousand dollars, and thousands of hours of labor, I managed to clean the house, fix the bathroom, the leaky pipes, the windows including installing new storm windows, the yard, demolish and rebuild the front porch, and a host of other things, too numerous to mention.

Before I left, I let him have a lot of my stuff, including an expensive stereo system, and a large flat-screen TV, among other things like tools, leather jackets, a table saw, etc.

While I was working on the house, he offered no help, and I was constantly having to clean up after him and his parties. He spent most of his time drunk and stoned. He never even thanked me, and started crying about me paying rent. In a rotten little house that couldn't even legally be rented, where I slept in a large closet sized room in the back while he slept in the master bedroom, I paid him $200.00 per month, but I would have preferred to use the money for materials. I had to quit working when I ran out of money for materials, and I spent the next for months sorting through my stuff, and selling what I couldn't take with me.

Everyone knew for all those months that I was planning to leave, and packing and repacking my car to see how much I could bring with me. I had to leave some things that I couldn't bring with, so I packed them in boxes, ready for shipping, and I told my nephew that I would either send for them when I got a place, or return and pick them up.

When I returned half a year later, my nephew acted distressed and weird, and started accusing me of stealing his stuff. He had to paw through every box I removed, but none of his stuff was in it.

Then he started accusing me of stealing a book of his that he couldn't find. A stupid, little, worthless book! I told him I didn't take it, but he kept insisting I did. I told him that someone had put books that were on shelves in the living room into the basement, and it was probably there. No, he kept insisting I stole it, and he was telling his mother and everyone I stole his book. For months, he kept bitching at me about stealing his book, and when I asked him if he looked in the basement, he claimed he had, and it wasn't there.

A few months ago, I looked around in the basement and found his book. Vindicated with proof, and does anyone even imagine that the very next thing I said to him was that I found his book in the basement where I said it probably was? His reaction was surprising. He just shrugged and said "oh". There was no apology for slandering me.

I am currently sleeping on my sister's couch and planning to go homeless, since I can't find a job. While I had a very wretched, minimum wage job, which didn't pay me enough to find a place of my own, and which was most of last year, I paid my sister $240.00 per month, a third of the rent, to sleep on the couch, and all along, I did most of the housework.

So now I can't pay rent, as I sort out my stuff and try to figure out what I need and what I can carry when I go. I'm still buying my own food and doing most of the house work, and trying not to impose on my sister. I never asked for compensation for the $5000.00 in materials I spent on her house, or any compensation for the thousands of hours of very exhausting and dirty labor on her house.

Yet, after I lost my job, my nephew showed up and started telling me to get a job and contribute. He was talking like the big, swinging dick and lord of the manner, and saying that everyone takes advantage of his mother and I was being a freeloader. Did I need to remind him that he didn't own the whole house he was living in for free? He was the only person present who was still taking advantage of his mother, as he had for many years, while destroying her house.

He was impervious to logic and reason. Nothing I said to him even registered. He just rocked back in his chair, grinning at me, rubbing his fingers together, and saying I had to pay cash.

He really seemed to be acting like his mother's pimp.

Last weekend, we had another argument when I found out he had been telling lies about the book. He had been telling everyone he found the book in a box that I was trying to sneak out of the house with, and he cleverly contrived to ask me about it, and I then reluctantly confessed that I found it. My sister apparently even believed the fabrication. She is not that stupid.

We got in another argument and he recounted his completely delusional version of events. He claimed I had just up and disappeared without telling anyone, and that I had assured him that I would take care of the house and everything. It was completely strange and delusional. I now believe he is a completely deranged psychopath. Something is very very wrong with his brain. Too much drugs? Too much booze? I don't know. Maybe he is simply evil. I have observed that he likes to gaslight people - just about everyone. It is no wonder that his roommate left all of a sudden without notice, at a time when he kept telling me I could kick out his roommate. I had to keep telling him I didn't want to kick out his roommate, and that I liked him. He was a cool guy. His roommate never told me he was leaving, but he left behind many clues and messages that he thought my nephew was evil - really and genuinely evil.

I want to get as far away from that incestuous band of lunatics as I can.

If things are as bad in other families - it is getting very bad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41921629


WOW ^^^ what a dysfunctional horrible family but you allowed things - you martyred yourself working hard and spending your money on that house - even giving things to this person who was lazy and using substances - did you expect some miracle here? Some giant form of gratitude, a parade held in your honor? These people are users -
And for some reason you were co-dependant to that behavior.

YOU TEACH WHAT YOU ACCEPT.

I hate to sound cold, or cruel but seriously - we teach what we accept in life - and we tell ourselves stories so we really don't have to do that hard work - which could include leaving the family (the tribe) and going out in the world in a kind of self banishment. But look at what you wrote - is any of this healthy?

You have ONE life to live (to your current conscious awareness) are you going to waste it meddling in downtrodden human drama?

The biggest advice I can give to most people - is MOVE - move away from dysfunctional family - move away from weak over competitive environments where you can't get a job - go - research - make a change.

MAKE A CHANGE.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
fred also

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04/20/2017 01:24 PM

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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Slippery fish dilemma

The tighter the grab...

Jaynod
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04/20/2017 01:24 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Starbird

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04/20/2017 01:26 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163



Excellent post OP. Please stay here and let's chat.

For one thing, the globalists are the problem. They will push their agenda even if it means WW3. I will not submit and neither should you. I was in a similar situation a few years back -- married, kids, 9-5 job, providing a lavish life.

Wife and I decided to sell our expensive home in NJ and move to Florida. BEST decision ever. First, we made out bandits on the house sale we managed to sell in 2011 when both of us lost our jobs. We could buy 4 homes in Florida for what we sold our house for in NJ. Second, property taxes are 1/4th what they were in NJ.

Now, we work less and spend more time with the kids and we love life. Until the day comes when the globalists take over, we're going to live the good life. Salt Life.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74726827


THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!!
Make a CHANGE!!!

Even if you have to ride a grey hound bus to do it.
If you are church person - show up - ask for help if you need it - be willing to do anything - be willing to get dirty and work physically if you have to.

BUT MAKE A CHANGE.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63915286
United States
04/20/2017 01:28 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163


Sometimes just researching that expat life and watching lots of you tubes and doing lots of reading can change or lighten the mindset - just planting the seed there are options.

Today I am looking at Viet Nam - in the past I looked at Uruguay - now - none if it might happen but something about looking - watching youtubes about their food markets, for example yesterday I watched people eating Pho in Viet Nam - and street vendor videos from Cambodia.

Sometime just LOOKING, emerging a view in an outside culture helps for a little bit. Reading is also good for the brain - you know old fashioned turn the page stuff - go to the library look at and feel some books -

Small things like this can make the brain focus on something besides the over pressuring trap of how it seems the world works right now in your reality - the messages you tell yourself, the culture that brain washes you - go look at - occupy your brain with something different -

Its eye opening.
 Quoting: Starbird


Thank you. This is great advice.
Starbird

User ID: 15320663
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04/20/2017 01:29 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163



Excellent post OP. Please stay here and let's chat.

For one thing, the globalists are the problem. They will push their agenda even if it means WW3. I will not submit and neither should you. I was in a similar situation a few years back -- married, kids, 9-5 job, providing a lavish life.

Wife and I decided to sell our expensive home in NJ and move to Florida. BEST decision ever. First, we made out bandits on the house sale we managed to sell in 2011 when both of us lost our jobs. We could buy 4 homes in Florida for what we sold our house for in NJ. Second, property taxes are 1/4th what they were in NJ.

Now, we work less and spend more time with the kids and we love life. Until the day comes when the globalists take over, we're going to live the good life. Salt Life.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74726827


I'm here brother. I travel around networks as a consultant. I spent some time as a kid in Florida, on the treasure coast. What part are you in? I would love to move. I live in the midwest rust belt and people are very beat down. We stayed for my wife's family, whom have all slowly died of cancer, with one still fighting. Perhaps soon I will be able to get out. How is the job market there?
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 63915286


Gainesville is really growing I can tell you that. So much so that I am gonna look to quieter parts of Florida when my son is raised.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Goofy for God
For by Him All Things Were Created

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04/20/2017 01:29 PM

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Re: I'm barely holding on.
If we are the generation alive when Jesus returns then it is a bitter sweet. I pray you find peace in understanding this is not our home and we are not alone. Everyone I know is being drug through the fire so give all to God ,He helps me each day.grouphug

Last Edited by Goofy for God on 04/20/2017 01:30 PM
Luke 18:8I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
Goofy for God
For by Him All Things Were Created

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04/20/2017 01:30 PM

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We do this !!!



[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]
Luke 18:8I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?
Anonymous Coward
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04/20/2017 01:32 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163




Let go...

I understand where you are coming from, it's not worth it.
Take the dog, simplify your life, spend time in nature.

They are going to destroy Earth no matter what, might as well live a carefree life and enjoy some moments before this game is over.

Fuck society, fuck the rat race, fuck the game.
Starbird

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United States
04/20/2017 01:32 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
I want to get as far away from that incestuous band of lunatics as I can.

If things are as bad in other families - it is getting very bad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41921629


Nephew is a classic sociopath. Sever all ties and never look back.
I had to do it with my big brother 15 years ago. The horror stories top yours by a 10 fold.
Life has never been better.
 Quoting: chrisvet


Sometimes I wonder if people left the "Old Country" just to get away from dysfunctional families and start a new life.

People can and still should move away from these dynamics if they are so life and soul robbing. Not enough encouragement in our culture to do this anymore.

Move for jobs also - MOVE - try a new place.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
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04/20/2017 01:36 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163



Excellent post OP. Please stay here and let's chat.

For one thing, the globalists are the problem. They will push their agenda even if it means WW3. I will not submit and neither should you. I was in a similar situation a few years back -- married, kids, 9-5 job, providing a lavish life.

Wife and I decided to sell our expensive home in NJ and move to Florida. BEST decision ever. First, we made out bandits on the house sale we managed to sell in 2011 when both of us lost our jobs. We could buy 4 homes in Florida for what we sold our house for in NJ. Second, property taxes are 1/4th what they were in NJ.

Now, we work less and spend more time with the kids and we love life. Until the day comes when the globalists take over, we're going to live the good life. Salt Life.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74726827


THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!!!
Make a CHANGE!!!

Even if you have to ride a grey hound bus to do it.
If you are church person - show up - ask for help if you need it - be willing to do anything - be willing to get dirty and work physically if you have to.

BUT MAKE A CHANGE.
 Quoting: Starbird


I fucked up. My wife is very controlled by her surviving family. She can't barely take a shit without phoning for permission. I'm not very close to my family, Im respectful but I had a not-great childhood. My parents were very young and selfish and once they divorced they wanted us kids to just go away. the experiment was over so to speak. But many had much worse so i don't dwell on that. Im respectful for all they did do. But im not very well respected as a leader in my wifes eyes. overall she looks to her family for guidance. Im not sure if i can fix that or if i even have the willing energy at this point. I feel very much like a single parent a lot. i do agree i need to fix it. Its rough when your barely holding on.
Starbird

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04/20/2017 01:37 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
If we are the generation alive when Jesus returns then it is a bitter sweet. I pray you find peace in understanding this is not our home and we are not alone. Everyone I know is being drug through the fire so give all to God ,He helps me each day.grouphug
 Quoting: Goofy for God


I remember being small and hearing the Born Agains talk about end times and us being in it - and I thought "Wow - arrogant to think WE are the important generation in all this history to be part of the end times."

But as I have grown older and watched the changing dynamics of reality - even if you don't hold the "Christ" based belief - it does seem to be we are narrowing more than ever to some kind of "zero point" ~

So maybe WE ARE the generation?
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
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04/20/2017 01:39 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Have you tried thinking at the level of a whisper instead of the shouting level of thinking so that the thought hologram of your misery doesn't overtake a fresh perception of everyday physical reality?
woowoochic

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04/20/2017 01:41 PM

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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Honey, that you? rockingrin
You Dont Have A Soul. You Are A Soul. You Have A Body.
Starbird

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04/20/2017 01:42 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163




Let go...

I understand where you are coming from, it's not worth it.
Take the dog, simplify your life, spend time in nature.

They are going to destroy Earth no matter what, might as well live a carefree life and enjoy some moments before this game is over.

Fuck society, fuck the rat race, fuck the game.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 8555618


I honest to God am not kidding the more time I spend in my yard with my feet bare on the earth - the better I feel. I remember those times I lived in a city - (Cambridge) and I used to have to seek out green areas - like parts of open campus at MIT - where there were large preserved areas with actual dirt under the grass away from the sea of concrete -

And in those times laying on that ground - I could feel some sorts of healing coming from that earth space. It sounds woo-woo - but now I live a life with a large yard - (paying less in mortgage in Florida now - than I paid for rent in Cambridge more than 20 years ago) and nothing would take me back to that literal "concrete jungle" -

Even if you are stranded in on - get out!! Make a plan even for just a weekend and go sleep in a bag on the ground in a tent in a natural area - get away from electronics, the news, the false cycle of the cement world.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
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04/20/2017 01:43 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
War on a drastic scale involving everyone will at least bring the majority of the populace down to a level playing field. I suspect it will happen much sooner than everyone thinks. Perhaps with "everyone" just barely holding on we will all start to realize we need each other and start providing compassion. If not then we all eventually die and the world simply moves on without humans. I personally am of the opinion that world war is very very close to popping off. Once this happens the entire economy will most likely stall or outright cease to function. People will be more concerned with survival than being forced to slave for a paycheck. I am starting to think that the President is angling, or being forced into declaring this war.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59404040


I agree with you, but I believe people are far too self absorbed to even realize what's really going on. I'm at the point that I don't care and welcome war. Something has to happen to affect change.

The USA is over. Our so called government has turned into a self serving dictatorship and clearly doesn't care about the tax paying individuals who support them financially.

I've had enough. I too am a middle aged IT worker and see what's happening very clearly. I don't want to be a part of what's going on. I don't want to contribute my life time and personal resources any longer. It's simply not worth it.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 72358089


Me three.
Anonymous Coward
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Canada
04/20/2017 01:46 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
War on a drastic scale involving everyone will at least bring the majority of the populace down to a level playing field. I suspect it will happen much sooner than everyone thinks. Perhaps with "everyone" just barely holding on we will all start to realize we need each other and start providing compassion. If not then we all eventually die and the world simply moves on without humans. I personally am of the opinion that world war is very very close to popping off. Once this happens the entire economy will most likely stall or outright cease to function. People will be more concerned with survival than being forced to slave for a paycheck. I am starting to think that the President is angling, or being forced into declaring this war.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59404040


Fat chance of that. Families will be divided.

I get in arguments with my nephew, who is some kind of psychotic weasel. I have always been very generous with him and his sisters since they were small.

A few yeast ago, he was an adult man living in his mother's house, after she had moved out. Living for free, and mostly unemployed.

He ran the house into the ground. Every inch of it was caked with filth and filled with more flies than you can imagine. Almost all of the windows were broken and the doors were falling off their hinges. Water from the pipes was leaking into the dank, and musty basement, which was full of wet clothes on the floor and all sorts of garbage. The bathroom was filthy and completely trashed, with a broken sink and a rotten hole, more than a foot wide right in front of the toilet. The house should have been condemned.

At my own expense, nearly five thousand dollars, and thousands of hours of labor, I managed to clean the house, fix the bathroom, the leaky pipes, the windows including installing new storm windows, the yard, demolish and rebuild the front porch, and a host of other things, too numerous to mention.

Before I left, I let him have a lot of my stuff, including an expensive stereo system, and a large flat-screen TV, among other things like tools, leather jackets, a table saw, etc.

While I was working on the house, he offered no help, and I was constantly having to clean up after him and his parties. He spent most of his time drunk and stoned. He never even thanked me, and started crying about me paying rent. In a rotten little house that couldn't even legally be rented, where I slept in a large closet sized room in the back while he slept in the master bedroom, I paid him $200.00 per month, but I would have preferred to use the money for materials. I had to quit working when I ran out of money for materials, and I spent the next for months sorting through my stuff, and selling what I couldn't take with me.

Everyone knew for all those months that I was planning to leave, and packing and repacking my car to see how much I could bring with me. I had to leave some things that I couldn't bring with, so I packed them in boxes, ready for shipping, and I told my nephew that I would either send for them when I got a place, or return and pick them up.

When I returned half a year later, my nephew acted distressed and weird, and started accusing me of stealing his stuff. He had to paw through every box I removed, but none of his stuff was in it.

Then he started accusing me of stealing a book of his that he couldn't find. A stupid, little, worthless book! I told him I didn't take it, but he kept insisting I did. I told him that someone had put books that were on shelves in the living room into the basement, and it was probably there. No, he kept insisting I stole it, and he was telling his mother and everyone I stole his book. For months, he kept bitching at me about stealing his book, and when I asked him if he looked in the basement, he claimed he had, and it wasn't there.

A few months ago, I looked around in the basement and found his book. Vindicated with proof, and does anyone even imagine that the very next thing I said to him was that I found his book in the basement where I said it probably was? His reaction was surprising. He just shrugged and said "oh". There was no apology for slandering me.

I am currently sleeping on my sister's couch and planning to go homeless, since I can't find a job. While I had a very wretched, minimum wage job, which didn't pay me enough to find a place of my own, and which was most of last year, I paid my sister $240.00 per month, a third of the rent, to sleep on the couch, and all along, I did most of the housework.

So now I can't pay rent, as I sort out my stuff and try to figure out what I need and what I can carry when I go. I'm still buying my own food and doing most of the house work, and trying not to impose on my sister. I never asked for compensation for the $5000.00 in materials I spent on her house, or any compensation for the thousands of hours of very exhausting and dirty labor on her house.

Yet, after I lost my job, my nephew showed up and started telling me to get a job and contribute. He was talking like the big, swinging dick and lord of the manner, and saying that everyone takes advantage of his mother and I was being a freeloader. Did I need to remind him that he didn't own the whole house he was living in for free? He was the only person present who was still taking advantage of his mother, as he had for many years, while destroying her house.

He was impervious to logic and reason. Nothing I said to him even registered. He just rocked back in his chair, grinning at me, rubbing his fingers together, and saying I had to pay cash.

He really seemed to be acting like his mother's pimp.

Last weekend, we had another argument when I found out he had been telling lies about the book. He had been telling everyone he found the book in a box that I was trying to sneak out of the house with, and he cleverly contrived to ask me about it, and I then reluctantly confessed that I found it. My sister apparently even believed the fabrication. She is not that stupid.

We got in another argument and he recounted his completely delusional version of events. He claimed I had just up and disappeared without telling anyone, and that I had assured him that I would take care of the house and everything. It was completely strange and delusional. I now believe he is a completely deranged psychopath. Something is very very wrong with his brain. Too much drugs? Too much booze? I don't know. Maybe he is simply evil. I have observed that he likes to gaslight people - just about everyone. It is no wonder that his roommate left all of a sudden without notice, at a time when he kept telling me I could kick out his roommate. I had to keep telling him I didn't want to kick out his roommate, and that I liked him. He was a cool guy. His roommate never told me he was leaving, but he left behind many clues and messages that he thought my nephew was evil - really and genuinely evil.

I want to get as far away from that incestuous band of lunatics as I can.

If things are as bad in other families - it is getting very bad.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 41921629


I can tell by the work you did on your sister's house that you obviously have skills that you can market.

You need to distance yourself from your nephew because he's a troubled soul (narcissist) and bad for your mental health. You need to have an income so take a superintendent job or something along those lines if you have to. You write intelligently and you sound like a morally upright person so there's no reason you shouldn't be able to earn an honest living and live your life on your own terms.

You may want to ask yourself why you're in the boat you're in and what part of your own past has put you there. Don't let yourself down any longer. It's time to move on with your life and find people that won't take advantage of you or treat you like dirt.

Good luck and i hope your family can work through these issues and you can still love each other after you can distance yourself from all that drama I just read about.
Starbird

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United States
04/20/2017 01:49 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
I fucked up. My wife is very controlled by her surviving family. She can't barely take a shit without phoning for permission. I'm not very close to my family, Im respectful but I had a not-great childhood. My parents were very young and selfish and once they divorced they wanted us kids to just go away. the experiment was over so to speak. But many had much worse so i don't dwell on that. Im respectful for all they did do. But im not very well respected as a leader in my wifes eyes. overall she looks to her family for guidance. Im not sure if i can fix that or if i even have the willing energy at this point. I feel very much like a single parent a lot. i do agree i need to fix it. Its rough when your barely holding on.

^^^ Ok - I understand. Try not to ruminate on this. Sometimes we make uniformed decisions when we are young - or we do not have the real picture of the circumstances. You might have even felt that relationship your wife had with her family was refreshing coming from a less defined family of upbringing. Only now you see it for what it is - a prison.

She is wrong by the way to put them first and be codependent and controlled. I think its a kind of sickness. I am not religious per say but even the Bible talks about how it is supposed to go when we marry. The first step should be that it is ADULTS getting married that are not still functioning in some kind of long line of generational curse that won't allow maturity to come along.

You should grasp the hand of your partner when you wed and basically start your own journey as a couple. This just doesn't happen, and we are not really set up as a culture to nurture that.

Instead you have a big constructed mess of situation - and then we have a culture that now builds a financial trap around us - its a fucking mess.

So - try not to dispare too much now since you allude to being a single parent there are children in this situation. They come first. But there will be a time and years will pass - so in the mean time - escape to those youtube videos and researching options and make a plan like you are leaving the "Old Country" and going to a new land - make plan A and plan B - and chart a course - even if it is dreams and wishful thinking stuff it can plant a seed of hope that gets you through these darker times.

hf

Last Edited by Starbird on 04/20/2017 01:52 PM
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
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04/20/2017 02:03 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163


Let go or be dragged.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 70947445
United States
04/20/2017 02:07 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163


As bad as it is here in the USA, there is no place better. Your best bet is to get out of the rat race, buy a place in the country and live simply. Rediscover what is really important in this life. Rural America is still pretty nice in the big scheme of things. It doesn't sound like your wife would be on the same page, though, so I'm not sure what to suggest.

hf
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74726637
United States
04/20/2017 02:07 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163


As bad as it is here in the USA, there is no place better. Your best bet is to get out of the rat race, buy a place in the country and live simply. Rediscover what is really important in this life. Rural America is still pretty nice in the big scheme of things. It doesn't sound like your wife would be on the same page, though, so I'm not sure what to suggest.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70947445


"there is no place better"

lmao

I got a laugh out of that.
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 63915286
United States
04/20/2017 02:09 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
I fucked up. My wife is very controlled by her surviving family. She can't barely take a shit without phoning for permission. I'm not very close to my family, Im respectful but I had a not-great childhood. My parents were very young and selfish and once they divorced they wanted us kids to just go away. the experiment was over so to speak. But many had much worse so i don't dwell on that. Im respectful for all they did do. But im not very well respected as a leader in my wifes eyes. overall she looks to her family for guidance. Im not sure if i can fix that or if i even have the willing energy at this point. I feel very much like a single parent a lot. i do agree i need to fix it. Its rough when your barely holding on.

^^^ Ok - I understand. Try not to ruminate on this. Sometimes we make uniformed decisions when we are young - or we do not have the real picture of the circumstances. You might have even felt that relationship your wife had with her family was refreshing coming from a less defined family of upbringing. Only now you see it for what it is - a prison.

She is wrong by the way to put them first and be codependent and controlled. I think its a kind of sickness. I am not religious per say but even the Bible talks about how it is supposed to go when we marry. The first step should be that it is ADULTS getting married that are not still functioning in some kind of long line of generational curse that won't allow maturity to come along.

You should grasp the hand of your partner when you wed and basically start your own journey as a couple. This just doesn't happen, and we are not really set up as a culture to nurture that.

Instead you have a big constructed mess of situation - and then we have a culture that now builds a financial trap around us - its a fucking mess.

So - try not to dispare too much now since you allude to being a single parent there are children in this situation. They come first. But there will be a time and years will pass - so in the mean time - escape to those youtube videos and researching options and make a plan like you are leaving the "Old Country" and going to a new land - make plan A and plan B - and chart a course - even if it is dreams and wishful thinking stuff it can plant a seed of hope that gets you through these darker times.

hf
 Quoting: Starbird


You hit dead on with that. Her last surviving family member is battling out cancer so the circumstances may change quickly and she may need a lot of support. There are no kids in the picture. Never had any because we never had time. Between careers and family most free time is spoken for. About an hour of free time a night and not much more on the weekends. Silly things like a family members birthday is an all day affair. The family has to be around each other consistently it drives me crazy. But who am i to judge when im the one feeling crappy. I appreciate the advice. Very good stuff I will be thinking about. i didn't get here overnight and I wont repair it overnight. Or maybe one day Ill just runaway and assume a new identity lol.
Starbird

User ID: 15320663
United States
04/20/2017 02:10 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163


As bad as it is here in the USA, there is no place better. Your best bet is to get out of the rat race, buy a place in the country and live simply. Rediscover what is really important in this life. Rural America is still pretty nice in the big scheme of things. It doesn't sound like your wife would be on the same page, though, so I'm not sure what to suggest.

hf
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 70947445


"there is no place better"

lmao

I got a laugh out of that.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74726637


I think there are places that are better in some ways. But you have to accept "different" ~ and you have to be able to have a letting go attitude.
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Nameless the Deplorable

User ID: 8533752
United States
04/20/2017 02:10 PM

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Re: I'm barely holding on.
War on a drastic scale involving everyone will at least bring the majority of the populace down to a level playing field. I suspect it will happen much sooner than everyone thinks. Perhaps with "everyone" just barely holding on we will all start to realize we need each other and start providing compassion. If not then we all eventually die and the world simply moves on without humans. I personally am of the opinion that world war is very very close to popping off. Once this happens the entire economy will most likely stall or outright cease to function. People will be more concerned with survival than being forced to slave for a paycheck. I am starting to think that the President is angling, or being forced into declaring this war.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 59404040


I think you're right. I am feeling so dissappointed in Trump.
I do not want anymore wars.
 Quoting: Ubergal 74698370


Oh good grief.

Is this the newest soros script?

For Pete's sake the whining is getting old.

--
'If you're going through Hell, keep going." -Winston Churchill

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -Edmund Burke
SOG
User ID: 45921620
United States
04/20/2017 02:12 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Middle aged IT worker. I see the bad in everything. I see the lies and boogeymen people create to elevate themselves to hero status. Its the marvelization of society. If you can make demographic X evil that equates yourself to hero status. Everyone is practicing it now. Everything is so fucked up now. Im not seeing the point to being miserable anymore. At work I'm chasing an ever smaller piece of pie. You pretty much have to become a pathological liar to advance in corporate America. A fair days wage for a days work was probably always a lie too. Wife's head is buried in TV fantasy soap operas. Somehow its my responsibility to provide a lavish lifestyle even though she's more educated. That's the hoot about American education right now. Women have all these opportunities to become over-educated and no social pressure to do anything with them. Got a doctorate, then start pumping out kids. just finished med school, you deserve a man to take care of you. Its fucked because I don't know one relationship that has survived the woman being the primary bread winner. If your a man and your wife makes more than you. You're looked down upon. period. even if its behind your back.

Im so tired. i don't know ho much longer im hanging in there. Not any time soon, not going to let the dog down. But i'm not going to grow old in this country. I see the hate in these kids eyes. It's going to be much worse here in 10+ years. The globalists have been playing the long game for decades. America will be like that torched restaurant in Goodfellas. They were signing away our futures with their right hand while waiving a flag in the left. always remember nobility largely only exists in fiction. Its the lie that propels society forward.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 39621163


Thank Gawd Jesus isn't a Pussy like you, because we would all be screwed. Poor poor pour me another one! Put some pants on snowflake and drink a shot of courage it may grow your some balls~ ARGH this is why evil wins because people like you can't get a grip! Suck it up!
GT Big hair

User ID: 2251477
United States
04/20/2017 02:16 PM

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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Start a blog, become a writer. You have some good insights into life in this crazy country.hf
 Quoting: Ubergal 74698370


this^^^^^

or go down the Flat Earth rabbit hole...

it will change your life...


thinkab0utit7
GT Big hair
Starbird

User ID: 15320663
United States
04/20/2017 02:18 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Look - feast your eyes on an entirely different culture half a world away. Allow yourself to take in the colors and sounds and imagine the smells - escape and allow your imagination to think about what it would be like to be in a place like this for a period of time - no US cultural pressures - you are an alien there so things are not expected of you in way of conformity. I find watching things like this a little mental vacation. Imagine a break from everything you know -

Now this particular country and these particular foods/market might not be for you in that case search up what interests you - escape through that research - and learn and grow yourself into something different - because this will grow your mind in novelty. And the best part is you can do it anytime - from your home, down at the coffee house with wi-fi ect. This is how we can benefit from all the connectivity. Make these things work for you!



Last Edited by Starbird on 04/20/2017 02:20 PM
I used to be just a Littlebird ~
Anonymous Coward
User ID: 74543654
United States
04/20/2017 02:18 PM
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Re: I'm barely holding on.
Move to gated community and chill.
 Quoting: Anonymous Coward 74189916


rofl5


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