I'm a Professional Telemarketer, Ask Me Anything

You lost me at professional!

I'm fully clothed in a bath robe.

Two and it is not polite to give people the bird, let a lone the double bird.

Its a tough 4 syllable word, its understandable.

Let me help you...you are not professional. You lost me at professional due to the fact you are on the other end of the scale of being professional, because you are a liar a cheat and by the sounds of it an overly cocky with nothing to show for it fake. You do not make six figure...if you do, post a picture of your yearly earnings with your personal information blacked out. If this isn't something your capable of then piss and stop wasting people time with your bullshit. Did that help you skinny jeans?

What's up....need to Google some words to use or is Dave sucking jose's cock juice off of your tongue.

Hopefully it helped you because your wild assumptions about my life are not accurate. But for some reason you felt an extreme sense of pride in trying to shit one someone based on a blog post. Your penis is small.

Not sure who Dave or Jose are but it certainly sounds like they are in need of a big asshole, give them a call.

fish?

surf fisherman, amateur

Do you get the feeling that people may be going all Freudian and transfer all their anger at their own lives to you, anonymous stranger that society says it's ok to hate? I'm not some telemarketing bleeding heart but I've encountered such unhinged people.

Second question, can you please hold while I connect you to a representative?

I usta sell baseball cards over the phone back in the ninetys

whats the most uve sold in a shift on the phone?

Telemarketer, eh?

I'll give you the same advise that Bill Hicks offered to ad men ... kill yourself ... no comedy ... just do it, for the sake of all mankind.

you are not necessary and are a nuisance.

[link to www.youtube.com (secure)]

What would you if you called a tanning salon trying to offer them an insurance quote, you ask for Mike, and the ditzy girl on the other line is like "Oh yea HI! He'll be out in the back alley at 4:20 if you want to come pick it up"

What's yer home number? Also, do you get paid if you don't finish your spiel? I often let you finish your opening verbal volley, only because I thought that your boss might shit down your neck if I hang up too soon.
Is that true, catbreath?

When will you commit suicide you harassing peace of shit?

I never understood why people get paid to do what bums do for free.

How do you NOT quit your job

Absolutely people take out their shit on telemarketers. But I always look at that as a challenge to see if someone who is cussing you out can be turned around into a sale.

As far as holding, we will see what your hold music offers.

I certainly understand why you 'usta' instead of still currently do.

I have never sold a baseball card over the phone. If you look in my previous replies you will see that I actually make money telemarketing.

Food, Air, and Water are the only necessities. I agree. But I won't kill myself, I will just continue selling to acquire enough necessities to where I can retire.

Easy. Send the guy we just hired yesterday to go to the back alley appointment and tell the new guy it should be an easy sale, he already has the check made out to us.

My home number is 10. Some poor schleps get paid hourly to just go through the motions. But real telemarketers take commission only positions or independent contractor positions in order to get paid the highest amount possible. Hourly sales jobs are for amateurs who do not have any confidence in their ability.

A bum does not provide a service, unless said bum has a "Golden Voice". When I sell you, you get whatever service I sold you. You know, the service that you had no idea that you wanted/needed until I called and spoke to you for 10 minutes.

Because I get paid well.

Is bacon the and only true food on the planet Earth?

oh boy, here we go...

Its the only important food, I mean it has niacin in it for Christs Sake.

I'm not sure where you are heading but I can certainly save you some money on your travel and accommodations so you have more money to have fun with while you are there. You wouldn't be upset if you had more money to have fun with on vacation, correct?

no woman will ever mate with you, so none of your worthless seed will go forth.

You have bad breath and inside you are putrefying as your organs are attacked by various bacterium and viruses. You feel like your life force is dissipating a little more each day.

When you return to your craft, your mouth will be filled with fine dust and baby powder making it difficult to speak and your throat will be dry and parched.

You will be beset with small impediments in your daily life and deprived of even the smallest pleasure.

you are as dust and unloved